StoneToss: Episode 27

Comic Name: Pibble Quibble
Description: Wassap, dawg?
Mouseover: Gas the cats, breed war now.
Image Name: pitbull-comic.png
Originally Published: 3/15/2018

What The Comic Is: A man stops his friend in his tracks, warning of a pit bull. The friend argues with the man, telling him that the danger of the breed is the owner and not the dog. The man inquires what is unique about pit bull owners. The man walking the the dog is revealed to be a stereotypical black man complete with wife beater and gold chain, prompting the friend to awkwardly mumble.
What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That pit bulls are only violent because they are owned/bred by black people, who train them for dog fighting.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: As the comic’s name suggests, there’s been an ongoing quibble over pibbles for some time (‘pibble’ is a shorthand nickname for the pit bull; which itself is a slang name given to the American Pit Bull Terrier breed. American Pit Bull Terriers are most often recognized as being the “pit bull” breed, though several other breeds of terrier and bull dog also informally share the name). “Are pit bulls naturally aggressive” is the point for debate. Some argue that they are not, as a breed, genetically inclined to aggression while others argue that pit bulls are, indeed, naturally violent animals. While there are debates over the breed’s natural behavior, there are several common myths associated with the breed, including the myths that pit bulls can ‘lock’ their jaws, their brains never stop growing and such lead to mental problems/aggression, among other numerous myths.

But fuck that shit. You didn’t come here for a Wikipedia article on pit bulls. You came to examine why StoneToss is a racist dumbass who doesn’t have friends. StoneToss alludes that pit bulls are aggressive because black people own them, which is kind of like an intentionally dishonest bias of truth. Sure, you can find plenty of people who happen to be black who breed and own dogs used in fighting. Funny enough, however, you find almost every color of person taking part in the sport, either as an organizer, breeder, ‘trainer’ or spectator. Dog fighting has strong ties to organized crime syndicates and so much money is generated through the illegal sport that all 50 state in the USA have made it a felony. It is also a federal felony. It is a felony to spectate a dogfight. It is a felony to bring minors to a dogfight, etc. 

Dogfighting is pretty epidemic in the USA’s deep southern states, as is its cousin sport, cock fighting (pitting roosters against one another in the same fashion). All types of people partake in the sport, especially with its connections to organized crime. StoneToss could have just made a comic about a breed of doing being abused and selectively trained and bred for fighting and left it at that. But some distant, forlorn node in his grey matter shot out a scattering of electric pulses, sending the words “MAKE IT RACIST” to the parts of his brain that control webcomics. 

Of course the comic doesn’t even bother to describe what specifically about black people owning a pit bull supposedly makes the dog aggressive. Is it because StoneToss thinks all dog fighting is done by black people? Is it because he thinks black people are ghetto? Is it just supposed to be a vague “all of the above” thing that we’re just expected to assume? StoneToss got as far as ‘black man bad’ before he got tired, farted and then jerked off to loli hentai.

Comic Name: Snake in the Grass
Description: (((big government)))
Mouseover: 1776 gas the king, revolutionary war now
Image Name: gadsden-swastika-comic.png
Originally Published: 3/20/2018

What The Comic Is: A man receives a lens evaluation. His eye doctor shows him an image of the “Don’t Tread On Me” flag, though the man’s vision is blurry. The man tells his eye doctor that he sees a swastika. 
What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Jews control the government, making them akin to Britain pre-American revolution and that it’s stupid to liken the “Don’t Tread On Me” flag to the Nazi emblem, despite the American Revolution being compared to the rise of Nazism.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: We have a real gem of a comic today, folks. This comic is not only stupid, but also contradicts itself when you add the description and mouseover together. We’re entering a level of deep stupidity, here. StoneToss doesn’t normally think before he draws a comic, which especially makes this level of dumbassery almost impressive. I, myself, would’ve literally had to put consideration into making a comic this fucking dumb. StoneToss does it like it’s a natural artform. Like the miracle of birth; only replace ‘miracle’ with ‘tragedy’ and ‘birth’ with ‘idiotic abortion created by a smug neo-Nazi trying to look smart’.

The ‘don’t step on the snake’ flag, otherwise known as the Gadsden flag (named for the man who designed it; Christopher Gadsden) depicts specifically a timber rattlesnake that is coiled and ready to bite whoever steps on it. The flag was designed in 1775, during the American revolution and war against Britain. The snake represents America, ready to strike against Britain (or whoever else) would impede on its liberty. As an historical flag it’s a cute origin; the snake was chosen as a reference to an earlier political cartoon drawn by Benjamin “Hundie” Franklin, the famous ‘Join or Die’ image of a rattle snake cut into sections that represented the American colonies. It wasn’t a threat, Franklin was suggesting that the colonies needed to join together or continue being crushed under British rule, dramatically framing it as they either joined together or perished. Franklin suggested that in exchange for Britain sending its convicted criminals to American colonies such a Georgia, that the colonies should send back rattlesnakes. Maybe this was because Franklin found rattlesnakes to be harmful and vicious, or maybe it’s because he was really, really into them like a weird snake guy and actually thought Britain would appreciate the gift. The man is dead now, so I guess we can only speculate.)

But fuck that shit. You didn’t come here for a Wikipedia article on rattlesnakes. You came to examine why StoneToss is an anti-Semitic dumbass who doesn’t have friends. So first, let’s examine the Gadsden flag in a modern sense. These days the flag has been co-opted by annoying conservatives and libertarians who have awful taste in vexillology to essentially display… nothing. Just a vague stance against anyone in general they don’t agree with. Normally democrats or liberals. We’re taking a flag that concerned an oversea monarchy taxing people in the colonies and watering it down to a flag concerned with a political party that thinks black people should get food stamps. Of course, the other side of the coin is that many who display the flag and consider themselves libertarian or whatever else tend to espouse bigoted or oppressive views that they label as “personal liberty”, which is kind of how the Gadsden flag has become associated with backwards xenophobia and values of discrimination. 

The Gadsden flag is sort of like the Naruto headband of political ideologies. It’s flown sometimes as a historical period piece of an integral part of the USA’s history, but mostly it’s just used by weird neckbeards who want to cosplay a fantasy world. Little known historical fact: The founding fathers all wore Akatsuki robes. And George Washington’s wooden teeth? They weren’t made out of wood at all… they were made out of THE SHARINGAN1111

So what is so especially stupid about this installment of StoneToss, anyways? Well, he compares the American revolution with the Nazis and the holocaust. Incredibly bizarre reach, but okay. What he seems to mean by this is that the holocaust was sort of Germany’s “revolution” against their own cruel oppressors, the Jews. This is obviously very fucking stupid, and StoneToss doubles down on ‘big government’ by inferring it to mean Jewish illuminati. We can ignore the fact that governments don’t get much bigger than a complete dictatorship, but I digress. However, he’s also trying to separate the Gadsden flag from the Swastika by mocking people who think the images are one in the same, apparently thanks to the meddling of the nasty jEwIsH wOrLd OrDeR… So then which is it? Is the Gadsden flag the American version of the holocaust? Were the Jews the German version of King George III? Or does the Gadsden flag have nothing to do with the Swastika and it’s stupid to call the two similar?

In a single comic StoneToss has managed to draw a direct comparison to the king of Britain and the Jews (albeit an incredibly stupid one) while also claiming that the flag used in the American revolution is in no way related to the Swastika. 

You know what? Spare Britain the rattlesnakes. Let’s send them all up StoneToss’s dickhole instead. At least then he’d be funny to look at, instead of just confusing and pointless.

StoneToss: Episode 26

Comic Name: Mud Slinging
Description: “I’m rubber and you’re glue” only worked in elementary school.
Mouseover: Imagine how many concessions have been given away just to avoid being called the R-word.
Image Name: democrats-are-the-real-racists-comic.png
Originally Published: 3/6/2018

 What The Comic Is: An elephant accuses democrats of being the real racists. Sometime in the future, the same(?) elephant now accuses neo-Leninists of being the real transphobes.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: The republican party is becoming ‘weaker’ and more left-leaning in an attempt to avoid being called racists, giving away different concessions the party used to stand for.
Why It’s Fucking Stupid: StoneToss thinks StoneToss is really smart. How smart does StoneToss think StoneToss is? So much smart that everyone else is dumb. StoneToss is no stranger to rampantly burning down every single fucking bridge that might actually attach to the inane, childish island that is his personal world view. He’s mocked republicans in the past, preferring to style himself as some kind of ultra unique alt-righter who is better than your typical alt-righters because he “hides” his fascism behind Shmorky characters. “It’s so brilliant,” StoneToss crowed to himself as he drank another cup full of his own piss, “I truly am above everyone else!” he finished the salty swill off with one final triumphant gulp.

We can see in the second panel that the republican elephant is now a stereotypical depiction of an ultra left-winger, which is StoneToss saying that if republicans can’t say that black people and mexicans are ruining America, then they’re basically on the road to becoming the far extreme of the left. StoneToss has mocked horse shoe theory before, as well, so it seems as if StoneToss thinks that both republicans and democrats are just trying to out-moral one another by both shifting further and further to the left, so that in XXX years time, the old “ultra left” is the new right and the new ultra left is… I dunno? A gelatinous mass of flesh and psyche of all people merged together into a single hive-being? StoneToss might be crazy enough to imagine that’s where the left wing leads to, which would be terrible for him because it would mean there’d be no more black guys, and if there aren’t anymore black guys who would he fantasize about being cuckolded by??? My god, no wonder StoneToss hates the left!! He needs racism and alt-right rhetoric so he can perpetuate his own humiliation fetish by being cuckold by the very people he hates. It makes so much sense now. Even if it’s fucking stupid.

Where does StoneToss think the left wing ends, anyways? Because eventually, if the right wing is destined to become the party of the “die cis scum” tattoo, wouldn’t that mean it’d simply merge with the ideals and principles of the left, and we would have no more right wing? Does StoneToss really believe the left wing can just continue further and further left ad nauseam without any stopping point?  This could have just been a comic about how he thinks republicans are becoming more left wing in their attempts to ‘bow down to PC culture’, but he went and suggested that the republican in the second panel still had someone to argue with so what the fuck does he think the left wing can possibly turn into if its current most extreme outlier becomes the new right wing?

Oh yeah, he didn’t think at all before he made this stupid fucking comic because he literally never thinks before he makes a comic. Silly me.

Basically, StoneToss is just upset republicans can’t be as openly racist as easy as they were able to be in generations past. And you know what we call people who can’t be racist? We call them CUCKS. Unlike guys like StoneToss who actually have real cuckold fetishes. We just call those guys FUCKING LOSERS because no woman will ever lower her standards and self-value enough to date StoneToss, let alone entertain his fetish. So that’s why StoneToss hates cucks so much; he desperately wishes he could be one, but he can’t! It makes so much sense now. Even if it’s fucking stupid.

Comic Name: Scapegoat
Description: If we’re going to redistribute wealth, what better place to start than a Tower of Ivory?
Mouseover: Peddling Marxism is big business.
Image Name: student-loans-comic-1.png
Originally Published: 3/8/2018

What The Comic Is: A student in a college class asks his professor how the school can teach about classless societies if the students are paying for the teacher’s salaries. The (((teacher))) deflects, claiming the student is really paying the greedy bankers who granted his student loan.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Colleges brainwash students into becoming Marxists.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Of course StoneToss is anti-intellectual. I mean, why wouldn’t he be? He hates cuckolds because he himself is incapable of ever becoming one, so it makes sense that he hates intellectuals for the exact same reason. He’s also anti-college, because he believes students are brainwashed into becoming Marxist liberals. 

Funny thing is that I totally agree with StoneToss that the USA has an issue with the price of higher education. College costs are insane and have gotten completely out of control to the point where it’s a massive financial burden that society expects you to assume when you’re too young to even understand what 150,00 dollars of debt really means. There are a ton of problems with college, but being Jewish-controlled propaganda machines is not one of them.
 
StoneToss strawmans the professor (because the professor is depicted as Jewish and we all know the Jews love them some Illuminati mind control societal domination) by having the professor blame the banks for granting student loans to begin with, which is a thing I am 100% certain no one in real life has ever tried to do before.  

A penchant of most forms of communism, as I’m sure you may already know, is that there is no class system in society, based either on ethnic hierarchy or wealth. StoneToss attempts to point out the hypocrisy of his nonexistent straw man caricature that colleges teach students to be Marxists even though the students make less money than the professors do and are the ones who provide the income for their salaries. Even if a hypothetical professor wanted to live in a purely communistic world wherein everything is totally classless, he is living in a society that is not that thing. Ergo, this is tantamount to approaching someone who wants to change the society they live in and saying “You want to change society, yet you live in it? Bit hypocritical, don’t you think?”. Of course, StoneToss doesn’t think the (((professor))) who indoctrinates his students to Marxism wants to actually live in a Marxist world, they only use Marxism to exploit unwitting college students. This actually makes perfect sense if you think about it.*

*It only makes perfect sense if you’re intentionally skewing reality in such a way as to fit your fake bullshit that doesn’t really exist. 

StoneToss: Episode 25

Comic Name: Chick-Fil-Ayy
Description: Fun fact, Chick-Fil-A earns more revenue per restaurant than any other fast food chain. Source.
Mouseover: More like Chick-Kill-Gays amiright? hyuck hyuck huck.
Image Name: chick-fil-a-comic.png
Originally Published: 2/20/2018

What The Comic Is: A gay man enters a restaurant and attempts to order a homosexual cake. The Scout from Valve’s Team Fortress 2 informs the man that the establishment is a Chick-Fil-A, apologizing for its lack of a bakery. The Scout suggests the man could order some religious chicken, to which the man recoils in shock, angered that the religious chicken is being forced on him.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That it’s hypocritical to demand a bakery owner bake a cake for a gay wedding while also demanding a fast food restaurant not flaunt religious ethics towards its customers.
Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Businesses are not people. But StoneToss seems to possess emotional and mental stunts that prevent him from relating to anyone but himself, so I guess it’s not a surprise that he made a comic as stupid as this one. 

Chick-Fil-A is a franchise chain of fast food sandwich restaurants across the USA that has slowly begun going international in recent years. It’s a chain that is popular for its fried chicken sandwiches and also a company that is infamous for the hot water it sometimes lands in when it comes to LBGTQ+ rights. A chicken sandwich is the last thing you might think could possibly be the center piece to a homophobic business agenda, but here we are. The late owner and founder of Chick-Fil-A, S. Truett Cathy, was a Southern Baptist in the state of Georgia. Of his three children, his son Dan Cathy would lead the Chick-Fil-A empire upon Truett’s retirement and subsequent passing in 2013 and 2014 respectively. 

Truett’s position on homosexuality seems a bit obscure. It doesn’t seem like Chick-Fil-A had a history of donations to anti-LGBTQ+ establishments until 2014, when Dan, the son, assumed control of company. We can assume Truett, despite his philanthropy work, was probably not totally tolerant of homosexuals or gay marriage, but it was Dan who took that to publicly transparent overdrive. Dan has gone on record to speak out against gay marriage and spoken positively of conversion therapy. Since 2014, and only (for the moment) ending with 2020, Chick-Fil-A has donated millions to organizations that openly supported conversion therapy or worked to fight against gay marriage. 

See, no one really cared that Chick-Fil-A closed on Sundays to obey the Christian sabbath or even that they preferred to hire religious employees. Funny enough, they did start to give a shit when Chick-Fil-A’s CEO was singing the praises of conversion therapy, donating money to organizations that support it and speaking out against gay marriage. Because it’s not about religion. It’s about Dan Cathy being a homophobic shithead and harming homosexuals across the country.

If Dan Cathy wants to be homophobic in his own home and keep it to himself, really that’s fucking fine. Okay, well, maybe it’s far from appreciated, but as long as he’s separating bigotry and business then at least we don’t have to deal with his bullshit. See, no one really cares if some guy in Georgia doesn’t like gay marriage or thinks conversion therapy works. Again, it’s not appreciated, but people have too much other stuff to worry about for it to really be a big deal to them. That changes when people want to take their homophobic feelings and start conversion therapy camps or make marriage between two men or two women illegal. Dan is using his company, that the free public support and keep funded, to use money we the people paid to him to donate to homophobic causes. Businesses are not people. A baker can be homophobic all he wants, but he can not discriminate who he provides business to. America is the land of the free, but businesses have fucking rules, because the only way America stays free is if rich bigots aren’t allowed to suppress vulnerable minorities through exclusion. 

No one fucking cares about Christian chicken. No one thinks Chick-Fil-A forces Christianity on anyone. They care about conversion therapy being funded by a bigoted CEO who hates the thought of gay people having the same rights as everyone else. But, you know, StoneToss completely misses this mark. Whether it’s because of intentional underhandedness in an attempt to paint a skewed argument or just genuine stupidity is, as always, up for debate.

Comic Name: High Horse
Description: Am I the only one that remembers the Prohibition?
Mouseover: More like Stoned Toss, amiright? (but seriously kids, don’t do drugs) 
Image Name: gun-ban-comic.png
Originally Published: 2/22/2018

What The Comic Is: A primly dressed and groomed student explains to a stoned classmate that a gun ban would keep guns out of schools.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Marijuana and alcohol being illegal never stopped people from obtaining and using them, or kept them out of schools.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: First of all, weed doesn’t kill people. Neither does alcohol, or at least directly (if one chooses to count fatal alcohol consumption/death related to alcoholism or alcohol consumption as ‘death by booze’). Guns, however, only do a single thing: kill stuff. Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s talk about guns and schools. 

This is obviously a comic concerning mass shootings that take place at schools, and the argument that a gun ban would prevent such mass shootings from taking place. This has been talked about on this blog before, as StoneToss is no stranger to Second Amendment commentary, so I won’t go on too much about that. The crux of the comic is that “gun control would never work, just like drug and alcohol bans”, which is a beyond stupid fucking argument. Weed and beer aren’t a gun. Weed and beer don’t have serial numbers. Guns can’t be picked up with a fake ID at a gas station or from your older brother’s friend. The point being made here is that guns are inherently harder to get to begin with, let alone with actual control checks in place. Plus, funny enough, bans on drugs and alcohol in schools do a really good job of, you know, keeping them out of school?

Further than that, however, is the issue of what types of guns are being brought into schools. This extends into greater gun control issues as a whole, but generally people are against the personal ownership of powerful automatic rifles that posses the rate of fire and ammunition capacity to continuously fire into a crowd of people. This gets into a whole argument about whether or not people need these types of rifles, or erroneous arguments where one might argue that we shouldn’t need super fast cars if cars that go 60 miles an hour are ‘good enough’ (which is an often-used and always stupid argument for automatic rifles).
In natural StoneToss form, he has to create a strawman for his comic, but he also doesn’t even offer any real alternative for guns in schools. If we humor the argument that gun control does not work, then what do we do about school shootings? StoneToss seemingly is a proponent of “everyone has guns and good guys stop bad guys with guns” based on his comics in the past, so is his solution that we should arm every student? He doesn’t even propose a solution in this comic, let alone allude to even having one; but given that StoneToss believes that school shootings are staged with crisis actors by the deep state I think we can go ahead and write this off as just being a stupid, shitty comic that StoneToss made without thinking about what he was actually trying to say.