StoneToss: Episode 25

Comic Name: Chick-Fil-Ayy
Description: Fun fact, Chick-Fil-A earns more revenue per restaurant than any other fast food chain. Source.
Mouseover: More like Chick-Kill-Gays amiright? hyuck hyuck huck.
Image Name: chick-fil-a-comic.png
Originally Published: 2/20/2018

What The Comic Is: A gay man enters a restaurant and attempts to order a homosexual cake. The Scout from Valve’s Team Fortress 2 informs the man that the establishment is a Chick-Fil-A, apologizing for its lack of a bakery. The Scout suggests the man could order some religious chicken, to which the man recoils in shock, angered that the religious chicken is being forced on him.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That it’s hypocritical to demand a bakery owner bake a cake for a gay wedding while also demanding a fast food restaurant not flaunt religious ethics towards its customers.
Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Businesses are not people. But StoneToss seems to possess emotional and mental stunts that prevent him from relating to anyone but himself, so I guess it’s not a surprise that he made a comic as stupid as this one. 

Chick-Fil-A is a franchise chain of fast food sandwich restaurants across the USA that has slowly begun going international in recent years. It’s a chain that is popular for its fried chicken sandwiches and also a company that is infamous for the hot water it sometimes lands in when it comes to LBGTQ+ rights. A chicken sandwich is the last thing you might think could possibly be the center piece to a homophobic business agenda, but here we are. The late owner and founder of Chick-Fil-A, S. Truett Cathy, was a Southern Baptist in the state of Georgia. Of his three children, his son Dan Cathy would lead the Chick-Fil-A empire upon Truett’s retirement and subsequent passing in 2013 and 2014 respectively. 

Truett’s position on homosexuality seems a bit obscure. It doesn’t seem like Chick-Fil-A had a history of donations to anti-LGBTQ+ establishments until 2014, when Dan, the son, assumed control of company. We can assume Truett, despite his philanthropy work, was probably not totally tolerant of homosexuals or gay marriage, but it was Dan who took that to publicly transparent overdrive. Dan has gone on record to speak out against gay marriage and spoken positively of conversion therapy. Since 2014, and only (for the moment) ending with 2020, Chick-Fil-A has donated millions to organizations that openly supported conversion therapy or worked to fight against gay marriage. 

See, no one really cared that Chick-Fil-A closed on Sundays to obey the Christian sabbath or even that they preferred to hire religious employees. Funny enough, they did start to give a shit when Chick-Fil-A’s CEO was singing the praises of conversion therapy, donating money to organizations that support it and speaking out against gay marriage. Because it’s not about religion. It’s about Dan Cathy being a homophobic shithead and harming homosexuals across the country.

If Dan Cathy wants to be homophobic in his own home and keep it to himself, really that’s fucking fine. Okay, well, maybe it’s far from appreciated, but as long as he’s separating bigotry and business then at least we don’t have to deal with his bullshit. See, no one really cares if some guy in Georgia doesn’t like gay marriage or thinks conversion therapy works. Again, it’s not appreciated, but people have too much other stuff to worry about for it to really be a big deal to them. That changes when people want to take their homophobic feelings and start conversion therapy camps or make marriage between two men or two women illegal. Dan is using his company, that the free public support and keep funded, to use money we the people paid to him to donate to homophobic causes. Businesses are not people. A baker can be homophobic all he wants, but he can not discriminate who he provides business to. America is the land of the free, but businesses have fucking rules, because the only way America stays free is if rich bigots aren’t allowed to suppress vulnerable minorities through exclusion. 

No one fucking cares about Christian chicken. No one thinks Chick-Fil-A forces Christianity on anyone. They care about conversion therapy being funded by a bigoted CEO who hates the thought of gay people having the same rights as everyone else. But, you know, StoneToss completely misses this mark. Whether it’s because of intentional underhandedness in an attempt to paint a skewed argument or just genuine stupidity is, as always, up for debate.

Comic Name: High Horse
Description: Am I the only one that remembers the Prohibition?
Mouseover: More like Stoned Toss, amiright? (but seriously kids, don’t do drugs) 
Image Name: gun-ban-comic.png
Originally Published: 2/22/2018

What The Comic Is: A primly dressed and groomed student explains to a stoned classmate that a gun ban would keep guns out of schools.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Marijuana and alcohol being illegal never stopped people from obtaining and using them, or kept them out of schools.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: First of all, weed doesn’t kill people. Neither does alcohol, or at least directly (if one chooses to count fatal alcohol consumption/death related to alcoholism or alcohol consumption as ‘death by booze’). Guns, however, only do a single thing: kill stuff. Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s talk about guns and schools. 

This is obviously a comic concerning mass shootings that take place at schools, and the argument that a gun ban would prevent such mass shootings from taking place. This has been talked about on this blog before, as StoneToss is no stranger to Second Amendment commentary, so I won’t go on too much about that. The crux of the comic is that “gun control would never work, just like drug and alcohol bans”, which is a beyond stupid fucking argument. Weed and beer aren’t a gun. Weed and beer don’t have serial numbers. Guns can’t be picked up with a fake ID at a gas station or from your older brother’s friend. The point being made here is that guns are inherently harder to get to begin with, let alone with actual control checks in place. Plus, funny enough, bans on drugs and alcohol in schools do a really good job of, you know, keeping them out of school?

Further than that, however, is the issue of what types of guns are being brought into schools. This extends into greater gun control issues as a whole, but generally people are against the personal ownership of powerful automatic rifles that posses the rate of fire and ammunition capacity to continuously fire into a crowd of people. This gets into a whole argument about whether or not people need these types of rifles, or erroneous arguments where one might argue that we shouldn’t need super fast cars if cars that go 60 miles an hour are ‘good enough’ (which is an often-used and always stupid argument for automatic rifles).
In natural StoneToss form, he has to create a strawman for his comic, but he also doesn’t even offer any real alternative for guns in schools. If we humor the argument that gun control does not work, then what do we do about school shootings? StoneToss seemingly is a proponent of “everyone has guns and good guys stop bad guys with guns” based on his comics in the past, so is his solution that we should arm every student? He doesn’t even propose a solution in this comic, let alone allude to even having one; but given that StoneToss believes that school shootings are staged with crisis actors by the deep state I think we can go ahead and write this off as just being a stupid, shitty comic that StoneToss made without thinking about what he was actually trying to say.

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