StoneToss: Episode 29

Comic Name: By Any Other Name
Description: Noticing patterns.
Mouseover: Reminder that pollen is plant skeet, and your girlfriend gets covered in it when she sniffs the flowers you bought her.
Originally Published: 4/3/2018

What The Comic Is: Two roses sit in a field, surrounded by a second type of flower. There are no other roses left. One rose cautions the other that the term “invasive species” is a rose supremacist dog whistle.
What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That it’s strange we refer to invasive plants and animals as “invasive species”, but not to humans who are “invasive” into other countries.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: So the purple flowers in the comic appear to be Purple Loosestrife, an invasive flower species that is spreading in parts of North America. It’s important to note that there is a distinction between a non-native species and a species that is invasive. All invasive species are non-native, but not all non-native species are invasive. 

What makes a non-native species an invasive one? The simple answer is that they somehow extraordinarily harm the native environment they’re invasive to. This can be naturally (killing or harming native species of animal or plant) or economically (causing monetary loss to the humans living in the environment, such as by growing out of control and ruining roads and other infrastructure). For instance, apples are not native to anywhere in the world outside of central Europe, however they are not an invasive species in the areas where they are now grown across the world. Though apple trees can potentially kill native plant species as they compete for resources, they don’t do so on a scale that is significant enough to impact native life, as they are not suited to unfairly outcompete native lifeforms.
On the other hand, the Purple Loosestrife flower kills hundreds of acres of native flower and plant life every year, due to a pollination window that is much larger than any other native plant. Longer pollination window = more plant sex = more germinated seeds = more Loosestrife = outnumbers and outcompetes native species. 

It’s all simple plant sex biology, really. But hey, you wanna know what doesn’t involve plant sex or invasive species? Human fucking beings. The majority of, say, Mexican immigrants to America are hard working people who contribute to their society, even when they are exploited as cheap labor. Funny enough, there is no “Mexican fuck window” that lasts longer than native USAians (who were the Native Americans, by the by) that enables them to outnumber and outcompete the “native species” in the USA (which doesn’t make sense, as all humans are the same species, anyways. So we can’t have ‘invasive species’ of humans, unless you want to make the uncreative comment that aLl hUmAnS aRe InVaSiVe111!!). 

StoneToss is trying to highlight some sort of hypocrisy he thinks exists where we call an invasive flower species “invasive”, but we don’t call a a “human species” invasive; to infer that PC culture stops us from calling non-whites “invasive species” even as they… steal all the sunlight and nitrogen in the soil? Or whatever it is that StoneToss thinks Mexicans do. Even as the two roses are outnumbered and threatened by the Loosestrife, the one still reminds that referring to the Loosestrife as what it is (an invasive species), is racist. Just like in real life!! The Mexicans are ruining Amurica and if you call them out for it then people think you’re racist, even as they themselves are wiped out by the loco Chicanos. 

Funny enough, Mexican and black people aren’t flowers or animals and therefore aren’t harmful to the native ecosystems of any other area on earth. Because no, StoneToss, the neighborhood/state you desperately don’t want colored people to move into and start families in is not an ecosystem, you racist, xenophobic dumbfuck. Also, “invasive species” is a scientific term recognized as legitimate and with unbiased definition, so no flower would call it a dog whistle, even if they could communicate. Unlike actual racist dog whistles, which are not scientific or unbiased and are only employed by people who are invasive species to humanity’s collective intelligent thought. People like StoneToss, for instance!

Comic Name: Gun “Free”
Description: Lefties can’t even obey gendered bathroom signs, why would they think folks would bother with “gun free” signs?
Mouseover: >when your head office gets demonitized
Originally Published: 2/5/2018

What The Comic Is: YouTube’s Headquarters is pictured “before”; a sign reading Gun Free Zone stands in front of the building. In the second panel, “after”, the same sign stands as the building is wrapped in police tape and armed SWAT and Police Officers stand in front of each other.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Gun control doesn’t do anything.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: On April 3rd, 2018, 38 year old Nasim Najafi Aghdam entered the YouTube headquarters building in San Bruno California. Entering through an an exterior parking garage, Aghdam used an automatic pistol to wound three people. She then took her own life. 

This comic was published two days after this shooting took place, obviously in reference to it (the building, as can be seen from the sign, is YouTube’s HQ). YouTube was a ‘gun free’ zone, something that gun activists were quick to jump on in the wake of the shooting.

This goes back into topics already discussed in previous posts on this blog, but many gun activists are staunch supporters of the notion that “good guys with guns stop bad guys with guns” and that “gun free zones only protect criminals”. Never mind that it has been proven many times that armed citizens rarely stop gun violence. Never mind that Ahgdam entered the building in a vulnerable entry spot that was overlooked by security, thus making the attack a security issue and not a “we didn’t have guns to stop the person with a gun” issue. Yeah, let’s never mind those facts. If we actually minded them, then this stupid tragedy-exploiting comic would be incredibly fucking dumb and in even worse taste than it already is. We don’t want that, do we? DOOOO WEEE??

Isn’t it so IRONIC (it isn’t) that YouTube was gun free but then there are GUNS from the POLICE AND SWAT GUYS? Isn’t it SO IRONIC that crime is committed even though it’s ILLEGAL TO COMMIT CRIME? What could have possibly stopped this crime? Could it be better mental health infrastructure? Better wages for minimum income earners? Overall more money put towards improving livelihoods and financial prospects for all citizens? No, because then black and brown people would benefit! The answer has to be the most logical and fail-safe: SHEER ESCALATION OF FORCE111 Which has always been proven to work, for the record (lol no it hasn’t).

StoneToss and others try to argue that YouTube HQ’s gun free policy lead to this shooting, but funny enough it needs to be reiterated that Ahgdam exploited a flaw in the building’s security via entering into it from an external parking garage. She did not enter the building through main doorways or pass any security. Again, this tragedy was one of security flaw and not because everyone in the YouTube HQ wasn’t packing heat and turned a lone gunman incident into a bullet storm of confusion and further destruction. 
Here’s a hot take: StoneToss should put a sign in front of his head that says “Brain Free Zone” lmaos

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