StoneToss: Episode 47


Comic Name: Capitol Gains
Description: How it’s done.
Mouse Over: Never send a trans woman to do a man’s job.
Image Name: washington-dc-capitol-trump-protest-political-cartoon.png
Originally Published: 1/7/2021

What The Comic Is: An Antifa pajama man stands in front of Starcucks Coffee, the sign of which is incorrectly centered but StoneToss was too lazy to frame the background better in order to make his stupid joke. The Antifa man proclaims his desire to bring down the establishment, having tossed a small block of uncooked meat into the window of his local Starcucks. Before he can finish his proclamation, two terrorists barrel through him, holding stolen materials taken from the US Government. 

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Terrorism is BASED.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: January 6th 2021 will forever be marked as one of the most historically significant moments in the USA. Trump-supporters, unhappy with reality, protested in Washington D.C. over Trump’s loss in the 2020 Presidential election. Spurred on by weeks of Trump falsely claiming the election was stolen, a chunk of these protestors decided to become The Greatest Patriots Of All Time And Space ruin their lives and get sent to jail.

On its own, this comic isn’t much past face value. It’s just a stupid comic that Antifa are cucks while the D.C. terrorists “got the job done” and “did it the right way” (whatever the fuck StoneToss thinks that means). However, with this comic, StoneToss is doing two things. First of all, he’s making his stance on the issue clear: MAGA was behind the riot. This is important, as the riot has begun to separate and confuse groups of right wingers, who can’t agree on just who started it or who was behind it. Popular lie-fueled conspiracy theories are that Antifa or Black Lives Matter activists actually organized or crisis-acted the entire thing, or that it wasn’t a ‘”riot” at all, and all that happened was some people broke into and walked around some buildings (this shit-take is especially heinous, given how much video footage evidence of rioting was captured, but whatever, I never said these theories were intelligent or made in anything other than complete bad faith).

Second, StoneToss not only actively supports the riot, but he believes something of significance was achieved by it. I mean, I guess that’s true, if you consider dozens of felony charges and prison sentences to be something fitting the criteria of “significant”. In the comic the two men are carrying a computer labeled “Speaker Pelosi”, obviously meant to be a reference to the computers and computer hard drives that domestic terrorists stole from Government property. The line of thinking behind the theft of the computers is that tons of Socialist Communistic Chinese Child Porn And Plans To Commit 9/11 A Second Time Only Using Unborn Fetuses And Christian Churches Instead Of Towers will be discovered by intelligent, paint-huffing rednecks who know as much about hacking into computers as they do about not beating their girlfriends. 

In reality, all of the stolen hard drives are basically worthless because no classified or important information is actually stored on them. Rather, that information is kept on secured servers. The hope for the to-be incarcerated, then, is that Pelosi pulls a Hillary and keeps random information on her computer. These people are going to be put into prison, lose their jobs and have permanent felonies for the rest of their entire lives just to find out Pelosi installed Microsoft Solitaire on her shitty Government-issued laptop. 

But it’s not what the comic says so much as it is what StoneToss himself says. StoneToss Tweeted constantly as the riots were ongoing, celebrating and cheering the vandalism on. StoneToss is spinning the riots in a way that is different from the popular talking points of “Antifa did it” or “It wasn’t that bad, the media lied”. StoneToss is using the riots as some stupid example of “White/Right Superiority”, depicting Antifa or BLM rioters as disorganized hoodlums who break shop windows, while the D.C. terrorists were ‘getting the job done’, with their Gravy Seals LARP costumes and their random destruction and theft. Because nothing says “getting the job done right” quite like a mob of frenzied cultists beating a member of “The Thin Blue Line” to death with American flags while singing songs about American liberty. 

Comic Name: Echo
Description: Flip floppers.
Mouseover: Do as I say, not as I do.
Image Name: law-and-order-trump-political-cartoon.png
Originally Published: 1/12/2021

What The Comic Is: Trump tweets from a phone as he stands before a scene of an Antifa-esque riot. An Antifa pajama man stands before the D.C. terrorist riot. In unison, the pair proclaim “Law and order!”.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Antifa is hypocritical because they rioted in the past.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: This comic is pretentious. True literary pretentiousness is when you use intentionally complex or verbose words or iconography to relay a message that, when reduced to its basic parts, doesn’t really fucking mean anything. So, what was the purpose of having Trump stand on the side of the Antifa riot and the Antifa guy on the side of the D.C. riot? I have no fucking clue, and it’s likely that neither does StoneToss.

StoneToss, to his credit, generally draws shit pretty straight forward. Even if there’s hidden or double meanings or deeper context, he doesn’t usually make his shit so difficult to understand. He clearly wanted to be very dramatic with this strip, complete with the Antifa guy very dramatically breaking through his panel to point to Trump, even covering up part of Stonetoss’ website signature. While we can’t always divine exactly what StoneToss specifically means when he makes a comic, we can always rest assured it was of little intellectual value or purpose. 

The first strip we covered was posted on the 7th, the very day after the riots. This one was drawn a few days later, on the 12th, and it seems by then that StoneToss decided to backpeddle slightly from his original stance of ‘BASED DC RIOT THIS IS HOW ITS DONE BOYS’. He depicts the D.C. protestors as totally orderly, flying their flags of FREEDOM and BASEDNESS. StoneToss draws the rioters as being behind the proximity fencing, as we can clearly see they’re behind the fences but in front of the Capitol building. Whether StoneToss meant to do this, or he just made a mistake because his sense of strip layout is shit, remains to be debated. 

He’s trying to mock Antifa as being ‘flip floppers’ (an old callback to the 2004 Presidential election, when John Kerry ran against George Bush; Kerry was frequently called a ‘flip flopper’ by his opposition for his alleged changing of stances on different issues). In the case of Antifa, StoneToss claims there’s a great hypocrisy between Antifa and BLM riots versus the “peaceful tour” that took place in D.C.

There might be some small grains of truth to this hot take. Riots after the murder of people like George Floyd unfortunately saw random acts of larceny and vandalism, as will occur in any proper riot. People, no matter the moral strength of their ideology, are susceptible to being reduced to wild and base instincts when whipped into a mob frenzy. This doesn’t make random acts of vandalism okay when committed by BLM or Antifa protestors, and those ideological movements as a whole need to better themselves at individual levels and hold to higher standards when conducting protests. Of course there will always be a level of opportunistic looters, but at least they’re generally separate from the riot itself (as with something like the George Floyd riots) and aren’t the whole reason the riot is happening for in the first place (such as the D.C. terrorism).

More than that, though, is the reason these riots happen. When police continuously murder citizens and get away with it, especially prevalent in their murder of people of color, the public tends to start to get sick of it after awhile. When peaceful means of protest continue to be ignored both by the Government and the corrupt police organizations, what the fuck do you expect to happen? Peasants without bread can do two things: starve or riot, and when given the choice, it’s always going to be the latter. Citizens without liberty tend to be no different. And see, that’s kind of the difference. The terrorists who attacked their own nation’s capitol did so because they wrongly believed the lie that their cult leader lost the election, because they think Democrats are all pedophile-ring running Satanists, they think all Republicans not complacent in Trump’s bid to violate the American constitution and law need to be extra-judicially executed by mob justice.

The people who rioted when George Floyd was murdered were oppressed, unheard and had had enough; the social contract had failed them, and they were left feeling like there was nowhere else for them to go. The terrorists who stormed the Capitol building were a bunch of conspiracy theorists who wanted to actively murder/harm politicians for refusing to take Trump’s side of lawlessness and violate the very Constitution of the country they were elected to serve. Bit of a fucking disconnect, as you can see.

The comic also seems to be reviling Trump as a LoW eNeRgY cUcK because of his broadcasts and Tweets immediately after the riots, where he pleaded for peace and order to the very rioters he had spent weeks riling up with fake accusations of a stolen election. Especially funny was the video message Trump released while the riots were still ongoing, where he very carefully avoided saying anything about the election being stolen, doing a complete 180 on the high energy ranting and lunatic rambling that had directly contributed to a domestic terrorist attack. StoneToss, then, may be whining about Trump telling the D.C. terrorists to obey police, feeling like Trump never did the same thing when Antifa were rioting. And yeah, StoneToss, that’s right. Trump never did that when Antifa rioted. Because when the D.C. terrorists were rampaging around the Capitol, Trump told them he loved them and that their concerns were valid but that they had to remain under control. When Antifa or BLM rioted, Trump threatened them with being shot.

Comic Name: Jinkies
Description: Scooby Dooby Q
Mouseover: Ruh-roh!
Image Name: scooby-doo-political-cartoon.png
Originally Published: 1/14/2021

What The Comic Is: The Scooby gang (notably sans Daphne, the conventionally attractive girl of the group; whom, to StoneToss, likely represents the type of woman who he feels is unobtainable to him, and therefore he hates) has a man wearing a Q mask at their mercy. Pulling off his mask, the gang is shocked and alarmed to discover the man is horribly disfigured, with no eyes, nose, ears or mouth. Perhaps they feel suddenly that, despite the masked man’s transgressions, binding someone so disabled to a chair was a poor move on their part.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: The Jews were behind QAnon the whole time.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: QAnon is a debunked conspiracy theory started by an anonymous 4Chan user claiming they were a White House employee working under Trump. With their “Q level clearance” (a Department of Energy clearance level that allows the individual access to certain classified and restricted information, much of it not interesting), the user claimed that Trump was working with secret government agencies to expose and defeat a pedophile and Satanic worship ring that existed through the highest levels of the USA leadership. As “QAnon” continued on, adopted by more and more various different individuals of varying levels of fictional writing talent, the conspiracies became more farfetched and unhinged. Alleged by QAnon was that the Russian interference in the 2016 Presidential election was a setup by Trump and the Republicans to secretly recruit Robert Mueller to begin an investigation on Trump that, secretly, was meant to investigate Barrack Obama, Hillary Clinton and other similar figures. 

Basically, QAnon is a huge load of shit perpetuated by deranged Trump supporters and/or people who just want to see what kind of dumb shit they can get others to believe. StoneToss has been somewhat quiet on QAnon, never really outwardly expressing any subscription of belief to the theories. It isn’t hard to assume that StoneToss likely either directly, or indirectly, believed that at least most of what QAnon was claiming was probably true (perhaps he stopped believing Trump was sophisticated enough to be the maestro of a top-level deep state investigation built around false positives and long-term double ruses).

StoneToss doesn’t like anyone. He has no friends, only fair weather stooges that he would abandon or turn on at any given moment. StoneToss doesn’t just want to style himself as smart, he wants to be smarter and more based than literally everyone or anyone else. This means he’ll stop at nothing to one-up even his own base, constantly trying to portray himself as ahead of the curve or somehow always a step ahead of anyone else’s theories or rhetoric. For instance, why did it take until now for StoneToss to finally make a comic somehow disavowing the legitimacy of QAnon? Because StoneToss is a fake idiot. He probably believed QAnon with the rest of them, until it turned convenient for him to pretend to have always been more enlightened than that. Otherwise, he would’ve published this same comic years ago. 

Because funny enough, given Q’s consistent failure to predict anything accurate or provide evidence of their claims, a hatred and disdain towards QAnon is now becoming prevalent among those who once fervently subscribed to the conspiracies. It seems as if a rift is being formed, where one faction of right wing nutjobs looks down upon the other faction of right wing nutjobs for their continued belief in QAnon. QAnon is now becoming the ‘cuckpill’ of the right, where only those seen as less intelligent and gullible believe the “Jewish Illuminati propaganda”, because the thought of QAnon just being bullshit from some random guy on the internet is something the bigots can’t handle. This is because it would mean they’d have to accept the fact they believed random lies on the internet instead of a grand Jewish conspiracy to fool the masses.

And for the second comic in a row, StoneToss backpeddles on the “basedness” of the domestic terrorist attack. First they were men getting the job done, then they were peaceful protestors and now QAnon (one of the driving forces behind the terrorist attack) is a puppet of (((The Letter J))). So does StoneToss now claim to admit that the terrorists acted according to the direction of Jews? Wouldn’t that mean that Jews are responsible for ‘getting the job done’ in the Capitol? Are the Jews trying to hurt themselves, or are Jews not connected to the Democrats and Mike Pence? StoneToss has no answers to any of these questions, he just hates Jews and this comic presented a childish and shallow way for him to paint them as villains.

Oh StoneToss, how lonely and miserable you are. Someone should really tell you that fucking yourself doesn’t mean you’ve lost your virginity, though.

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