StoneToss: Episode 73

Friendly fire.

Comic Name: Revealed Preferences
Description: Black lives matter? Tell them that.
Mouseover: Friendly fire.
Image Name: blm-and-black-violence-stonetoss-political-cartoon.png
Amogus: Second panel, the blood on the man’s first finger.
Originally Published: 4/27/2021

What The Comic Is: A black man lays facedown in a pool of blood. Before him, a second black man raises a fist in representation of black power. In the second panel, this same black man is shown to have a bloody knife held behind his back.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Black people commit crimes on other black people, ergo Black Lives Matter is hypocritical.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: StoneToss has desperately tried this exact rhetoric before. Whether he’s aware it never worked and is trying it again, or is so dumb he’s simply slamming against the wall as if a house fly who can’t find the doorway, is perhaps up for debate. This faux observation of “Black people want equity and don’t want to be murdered en masse by the police, yet some black people commit crimes? Curious.” is rooted in a denial of logic and racism, much like everything else in StoneToss’ miserable view of the world.

Equity and fair treatment is not some kind of all-for-one-one-for-all privilege that an entire group of people can lose their right to if someone who is the same color as them commits a crime. Funny enough, white people also kill white people and yet StoneToss never uses that as a catalyst to suggest that White Pride (something he fervently supports) is somehow hypocritical. You would then think the question would be “Well, StoneToss, which is it? Does a member of one skin color killing another member of that same skin color invalidate that whole skin color from all forms of equality?“, but this isn’t a question that needs to be asked, because StoneToss doesn’t care. As is always the case, he doesn’t give a fuck about making an argument that makes any sense, because he isn’t concerned with being logical. He just wants to hate black people, and this is his confusing and masked way of presenting it to everyone.

Anyways, this comic was obviously made in response to the April 2021 shooting of black teenager Ma’khia Bryant. Bryant was shot by police while she allegedly attacked others with a knife. While the details are still fully emerging in this case, it seems as if Bryant was clearly intending to cause harm with a deadly weapon and so some credibility is given to the officer’s decision to fire on her with their service weapon. This factoid, regardless of how accurate it may end up being, has been a powder keg for racist dumbfucks to vindicate their opinion that black people who are killed by police always deserved it or had it coming. This includes the start of protests after Bryant’s death; idiots like StoneToss posit that BLM and Antifa “jump to conclusions”, citing this as evidence that these groups an ideologies are therefore wrong about everything. Ah yes, why would anyone ever think a police shooting of a black teenager is unfounded or unjustified? They only shoot black people constantly for unjustified reasons!! But the good ol’ (male) cops didn’t do it this one single time at least (maybe!)!! Stupid dumb snowflake nig- ERMmmm…, I mean…, “BLM Supporters” (StoneToss Wink)!!!

Here’s something to chew on: If police weren’t constantly murdering black people, if they weren’t constantly being caught on camera planting drugs or freaking out at people for not following their commands no matter how little jurisdiction they have to issue those commands or pretty much any and every other deplorable and illegal thing they are constantly being found doing, then do you think people would be so quick to assume the cops acted wrongly in a situation like the Ma’Khia Bryant shooting? Reputations precede, and the police in the USA have been working for decades to make sure they have the worst reputation possible. They made their bed, and we don’t need loser bootlicker fuckwads like StoneToss to whine and cry about getting what they deserve. Yes, maybe it’s true the police officer had no other choice but the shoot Bryant in order to protect the immediate safety of others. But no, no one is in the wrong for being highly suspect that this could be yet another tragedy in a tireless sequence of police brutality and murder. Don’t wanna be suspected of murdering people? Then stop fucking murdering people.

Subtweeting hard rn

Comic Name: Unfollowed
Description: Twit -ter
Mouseover: Subtweeting hard rn
Image Name: trump-israel-comic.png
Originally Published: 10/8/2019

What The Comic Is: A closeup of a hand holding a phone shows Donald Trump’s latest tweet, reading that Isreal is the USA’s greatest ally. A man bursts through a door, crying out for “Mr. President!”. He slams his hand down on the desk of Trump himself and he explains that Trump has just posted cringe, and he is going to lose voter.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Trump sucks because he supports (((((((Israel))))) but it isn’t going to hurt him in the long run.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Oh, StoneToss. The turmoil you must have felt, knowing that Trump was going to be the best you ever got in terms of a nationalistic xenophobe with boner for appeasing Christian bases. That while he fulfilled your wishful thinking of a United States that was walled off from the nasty brown people, he was never going to actually build the wall. He was never going to actually block Israel on Twitter. He was so close and yet he ended up so far, and you’re never going to live to see someone ‘better’ get into the Presidency.

Trump was the best StoneToss was ever going to do. So he couldn’t exactly dump Trump completely. And so we get stupid comics like this. By this point StoneToss was no stranger to outright just making fun of Trump, but with the assurance that we’d be getting four more years of him. The demoRATS and LIBTARDs with their ANTIFABLM ALPHABET MEN thugs would be beat, despite Trump’s inability to go full Nazi. Perhaps it was StoneToss hoping that somehow this would spell the end of progressives and that Trump would end his presidency by handing it off to someone that was more like the Adolf who forged the glorious, white man’s third Reich and less like the Adolf who shot himself in the head once total and complete defeat was unavoidable.

This comic is a callback to “Speak Volumes”, an earlier comic he published about racists making podcasts and how such weak energy slacktivism wasn’t going to effect the political agendas of people like George Soros. Though in this comic, it is Trump who is depicted as being unable to harm himself. What’s the perfect way to disavow Trump without fully disowning him? Call him an idiot while insisting it won’t lose him any votes! Genius. Of course, the most hilarious thing about this comic is that StoneToss doesn’t think Trump is stupid because the man lacks any sense of civility, intelligence or ability to conduct himself coherently; nah, Trump is stupid because he recognizes Israel as an ally of the United States. Duh.




StoneToss: Episode 72

What goes around...

Comic Name: Outlaw
Description: Law and disorder.
Mouseover: What goes around…
Image Name: blue-lives-matter-jail-stonetoss-political-cartoon.png
Amogus: The badge on the cop’s hat (turned upside down)
Originally Published: 4/22/2021

What The Comic Is: A police officer stands in a jail cell, his hands in cuffs. In the cell a MAGA hat wearing man, also in cuffs and sporting a Thin Blue Line shirt, smugly greets the new prisoner.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: The police “betrayed” the capitol rioters on January 6, but they are now being imprisoned themselves by “radical leftist government society”, somehow vindicating the capitol rioters or proving that right-wingers are being imprisoned not for their actions but for their politics.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: First of all, people aren’t handcuffed when they’re in prison, but whatever. I guess StoneToss wanted to make 100% sure we knew they were in jail and not meeting in a purple bedroom in order to have gay-ass buttsex. And the cop is drawn with no face, almost as if he can be a stand-in for any police officer in the future who is arrested and convicted for committing a crime. So deep! And he’s wearing a little blue police onsie because he’s a fucking baby who never learned his actions have consequences. So accurate!

Anyways. StoneToss makes it quite clear who the guy sitting down is supposed to be, with the red hat and all. It’s obviously meant to be one of the rioters from the January 6 capitol riot, many of which (and growing by the day!) are being arrested, convicted and sent to prison terms. While every flavor of “I support the capitol riot” is the same shit-taste flavor, they are at least topped with different sprinkles (the sprinkles are bigoted, the whipped cream on top is from a spray can. But the spray can is racist). Some on the right decry the riot as a false flag, that it was Antifa and BLM “infiltrators” who actually ringleading or solely committing any violence or crimes. Others suggest the riots were entirely peaceful, that reports of police officers being injured and killed were only fake news and that Ashli Babbitt (the woman shot and killed by a police officer during the rioter’s break-in of the capitol building) was a peaceful protestor who was wrongly shot. But most of them agree that on that day, the police “betrayed” America, or that the police were exposed as being puppets to the fake Biden (((illuminati))) government.

StoneToss has depicted the protests as peaceful, but also made comics about the rioters (in military cosplay riot gear) stealing Pelosi’s computer, so it seems that when it comes to picking a side, he’s too much of an indecisive coward/idiot (or, in his own words, too “intelligent” and “insightful” and “sees every possible logical branch in any situation”, so how can he ever possibly join one side or the other??). He’s made a comic disavowing QAnon as being a conspiracy started by the (((Jews))), so really where he stands on what the capitol riots were or why is up for anyone to debate. Really, he doesn’t seem to have any clear idea on what they were (were they based? Peaceful? A (((false flag)))?) and seems to go with whatever he thinks at the moment, which is very much classic StoneToss. But this all takes us back to Derek Chauvin ending up in prison.

StoneToss seems to be of the opinion that police officers, who did their job and protected people from violent rioters, were betrayers of liberty on January 6th. They betrayed the very same Thin Blue Line cultists that worship and bootlick them (isn’t it curious how the rioters supported police, but still were stopped from committing crimes? Curious). StoneToss bitches relentlessly about supposed shadow government “new world order” illuminati conspiracies, but funnily enough it seems that, in this situation, what he’s upset about is that there isn’t a shadowy cabal of string-pullers who are getting all of the Thin Blue Line cultists off the hook for their peaceful murdering of a police officer and that, unfortunately enough, the actions of the rioters have consequences. There is nothing funny, ironic or cathartic about an officer going to prison alongside capitol rioters. StoneToss is just a manbaby who doesn’t like that you can’t commit crimes even if you’re a bootlicker.

Yeah, I'll "monitor" my re-election vote for you real good, buddy,

Comic Name: Acta Non Verba
Description: Et tu, Trumpus?
Mouseover: Yeah, I’ll “monitor” my re-election vote for you real good, buddy.
Image Name: trump-monitoring-the-situation-comic.png
Originally Published: 9/30/2019

What The Comic Is: Antifa and Facebook banhammer-wielding gladiators menacingly corner a Trump gladiator in a colosseum arena. The Trump gladiator shouts for aid from Emperor Trump, though Trump merely shouts back that he is “monitoring the situation” as he reclines on his bench, drinking wine and being served grapes.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Trump doesn’t give a shit about his cultists.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Nope, StoneToss is right! Trump didn’t/doesn’t care about his supporters. He’s never cared. They’re just stooges and potential scam victims for his shady donation drives. Though what exactly StoneToss was expecting Trump to do about things like Twitter and Facebook is questionable. Did he expect Trump to use some kind of executive action to control Facebook? Isn’t that exactly the kind of thing StoneToss hates about governments?? Like Outlaw, this comic goes to show that StoneToss’ worldview has zero fundamental values or principles, he just wants people he doesn’t like to be controlled by the government, and he wants the people he does like to get off with their crimes. This is because StoneToss is a fucking manbaby.

“Acta Non Verba”, the comic’s title, loosely translates from Latin as “Deeds, not words”, which is a pretty common saying among those who value themselves as being very badass. In this case, StoneToss is calling out Trump for never doing anything. Fruit that hangs so low it’s touching the goddamned grass. The description is a parody of the phrase “Et tu, Brute?” (or, “and you, Brutus?”) the famous (and fictional) final words of Roman leader and dictator Julius Caesar (in the Shakespeare play Julius Caesar, where the line is most often pulled from ((though it did appear in even earlier plays, such as Henry VI, Part III also by Shakespeare and Caesar Interfectus by another dead guy named Richard Edes)), the line is not even the character of Caesar’s last words, that would be his next line: “Then fall Caesar!“). But okay, I digress: point being is that StoneToss is shit. It’s just his way of dramatically acting betrayed by Donald Trump for being #JustLikeTheOtherPoliticians and not sending the US military to raid Facebook HQ or something. Once again, StoneToss wishes he could have everything perfectly tailored to his tastes (Trump uses his powers as President to control Facebook’s policies) while still maintaining his tough guy bigbrain do not tread on me principles (that the gubment will not infringe on free liberty).

He even suggests he’s not going to vote for Trump in 2020, despite going on to make numerous comics about Trump winning in 2020. So he fervently wants Trump to win, but he personally doesn’t want to vote for Trump in order to maintain his façade as an ultra-libertarian liberty minuteman badass freedom American warrior; or in other words: StoneToss is a fucking idiot.


StoneToss: Episode 71

show trial

Comic Name: Justice is Bind
Description: The court of public opinion.
Mouseover: show trial
Image Name: blm-media-trial-stonetoss-political-cartoon.png
Originally Published: 4/20/2021
Amogus: Left side of the panel, the door to the court building.

What The Comic Is: A news reporter holds a microphone with a nonexistent handle as he speaks into the camera. Behind the scenes, off camera, the cameraman is kneeling on the neck of lady liberty as the city burns in the distance.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Derek Chauvin, convicted murderer of George Floyd, was unfairly spun by the media as a villain. “Court of public opinion” found Chauvin guilty before the court did, and this directly influenced the legal proceeding.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: One of the most crucial pieces of evidence in the George Floyd case was the cell phone footage captured by onlookers. Given the outcome of the trial and the complete failure on the part of Derek Chauvin’s defense to clearly focus on anything, it seems safer than ever before to suggest that the footage gathered by onlooker’s cameras was more than damning enough against Chauvin. Curious, then. ((Very curious)), that public opinion was so skewed against Chauvin. Not that the man didn’t have his bootlickers, of course; StoneToss himself wet those leathers with a few idiotic laps of the tongue.

StoneToss made his feelings on the Floyd case very clear way back in May 2020 when everything first happened. Which really shows us how much StoneToss cares! He didn’t have to make a stupid comic of Floyd kneeling on his own neck, we all would’ve known how he felt. But StoneToss, ever the thoughtful bigot, made his feelings as obvious as fucking possible. But it seems even StoneToss could read the writing on the wall after watching some of the disastrous defense Chauvin’s team was putting up, as by the final day of the trial the mood from Chauvin’s white knights was at a clear low point.

This comic is obviously suggesting the jury was biased by the media (which is probably the ‘best’ case Chauvin’s lawyers can make), and thus StoneToss throws his hat into the ring of “Chauvin was convicted by public opinion”. This is a place he should be pretty familiar with, being a losing fight and all. Of course due to the fact that the jury wasn’t sequestered for the trial, it’s very likely the Chauvin case will win an appeal for a new trial and the shitshow will keep on shitting.

And of course the public had very strong feelings on the Chauvin trial. The question is why.0 Why would the public care so much when an officer, who is discovered to have dozens of previous infractions against him, kneels on the neck of a subdued black man who is pleading for mercy? Obviously it’s because people are lazy Antifa/BLM thugs who hate hard working police officers ((except when those officers are women, it’s okay to hate those)) and want to see them blamed for the drug-induced death of a black man who committed crimes(!) in the past(!). It can’t possibly be because Chauvin needlessly knelt on the neck of a subdued black man to the point of leading directly to the man’s death. I mean, George Floyd was BLACK! Why would ANYONE care when a (male, stress: male) police officer kills a black man?! It’s obviously just a big AntifaBLMLGBTQLiberal conspiracy to OPPRESS police officers and make them SECOND RATE CITIZENS in their own COUNTRY that they took from the NATIVES who weren’t WHITE and who sometimes KILLED(!) each OTHER(!!~??~?!).

The comic’s title is a reference to the saying “justice is blind”, or that justice is impartial to those who receive it. In StoneToss’ warped little brain there is no justice in the Chauvin case because the jury couldn’t possibly be impartial. And okay, I’ll agree that in a case this high powered that it’s nearly impossible for a jury of people to be completely impartial. But if we let StoneToss reach like this, then we may as well decide that nothing is impartial justice because people are going to be minutely biased in thousands of different ways. Here’s a crazy idea, though. If you don’t want to worry about a jury being biased by the constant media coverage of your murder crime, what if you just didn’t kill someone to begin with? Because that’s ultimately what this all comes down to. Not the trial, not the verdict, not even the sentencing. It’s that the USA is a country where Chauvin, as a police officer, felt empowered and comfortable enough to do what he did in the first place. The mouse over text, ‘show trial’, is a pun. A “show trial” is a trial where the verdict is already decided, and the trial is merely there for show, it doesn’t matter what evidence or arguments are presented from either side. Historically it’s mostly been blacks who are victims of these show trials, where the right to trial is granted only for show. In this case, StoneToss is calling Chauvin’s trial a show, like an act or a film for people to watch (while at the same time inferring it is also a traditional show trial). Of course the question again is: why were so many people so interested in Chauvin’s trial? To ask this question, you have to examine racism and police brutality in the USA. Which means StoneToss is never going to ask.

....fuck my shit up fam

Comic Name: JUST
Description: It’s just an ideology, bro
mouseover: ….fuck my shit up fam
Image Name: antifa-terrorist-ideology-comic.png
Originally Published: 11/26/2019

What The Comic Is: An Antifa pajama man explains that Antifa, as just an ideology, can not be a terrorist ‘organization’. A man approaches him, asking “Like fascism?”, to which the Antifa pajama man beings to sweat nervously.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Antifa has the capability of being a terrorist organization because, like fascism, it’s an ideology.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: “Antifa is just an ideology” is something that needs to often be explained to those complaining about the “dangerous terrorist organization”. Even years after the minting of the term, “antifa” has no central leadership, no chain of command and doesn’t even have a clear mission statement. It is merely an ideological opposition to fascism. One would think you wouldn’t need a specific term to suggest one is against fascism, but I guess we can no longer count on ‘opposed to fascism’ as being the default human state. And so we coined a new term to define those who are opposed to fascism, as those aligned with fascism began getting good at explaining or handwaving away why they’re not fascist.

Antifa is inherently not oppressive of anyone (despite what professional victims like StoneToss claim), it can’t really be an innately terroristic thing. True, more extremist followers of the ideology have sometimes taken matters into their own hands with violence (though this violence is, as always, few and far between when compared to the alt-right), but those are individuals. Notice how literally no one on the left is stupid enough to go around saying “FASCISM IS A VIOLENT ORGANIZATION”, because fascism is not an organization. Ergo, there is no hypocrisy like this dumbass comic tries to assert. In reality, the exchange would be a bit more like;

Antifa Pajama Man: Antifa can’t be a terrorist organization, because it’s not an organization.

Man: Like Fascism?

Antifa Pajama Man: Yes, like fascism isn’t an organization, exactly.

Man: Uh, oh. I was trying to highlight a supposed hypocrisy by asking you a rhetorical question.

Antifa Pajama Man: That is because you’re an idiot.

Man: (awkward pause as self-reflection occurs)

Nah just kidding about that last part, no one in StoneToss’ base would ever have the balls or brains to self-reflect. In reality the man would just get angry, call everyone a simp or something and then run away.

We can not call antifa a terrorist organization in the same way we can not call fascism a terrorist organization. But only one of those two ideologies is inherently violent towards other people. “yEaH iTs AnTiFa BeCaUsE tHeY wAnT tO sToP pEoPlE fRoM hAvInG oPiNiOnS”, I hear the Nazis wailing. To that I say: Shut the fuck up, losers. Intolerance of intolerance is not bigotry. And for fuck’s sake, genocide and racial superiority are not opinions. Maybe fascism itself isn’t an organization, but there sure are a lot of fascist organizations out there. And what do you know? They’re all considered the largest domestic threat to people in the USA. Meanwhile, Antifa isn’t considered a threat at all. Funny, that.

Antifa could be a terrorist organization, though if it ever was then it’s unlikely it’d still be based in anti-fascism. Of course this is what rightoids like StoneToss have wet dreams about, and they live out their headcanon clown world fantasies vicariously through webcomics. Though so far Antifa is neither terrorist nor an organization, which can not be said for fascist groups on the right. Sad!

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StoneToss: Episode 70 (Special Edition 5)

Welcome to yet another special edition of StoneToss Is An Idiot. Crazy to think we’re getting so close to 100 episodes. Maybe in another year or three I’ll actually catch up to StoneToss’ current comics. But hey, if you’re interested, feel free to support my dumb project on Patreon. For small tithes of financial credit, you can help a blog make fun of StoneToss.

What is it with women and body counts?

Comic Name: Lethal Force
Description: Femme fatale
Mouseover: What is it with women and body counts?
Image Name: female-cops-stonetoss-political-cartoon.png
Originally Published: 4/15/2021
Amogus: Second panel, the car’s headlight.

What The Comic Is: A man in the midst of an armed bank robbery stands with his looted dollar bags and potted plant, sweating profusely as the law enforcement officers out the window demand he comes out with his hands up. In the second panel, the S.W.A.T officer finishes with “…Or we’re sending the female cops.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Women are always making mistakes and therefore should probably not be in “men” jobs, such as police officers.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Made obviously in response to the April 11th incident where Kimberly Ann Potter, a police officer of the Minnesota town of Brooklyn City, claimed to have only accidentally shot and killed 20 year old Daunte Wright. Potter alleges she thought the 9mm Glock handgun was her taser when she pulled it out and fired on Daunte, striking him a single time. Daunte tried to flee away in his vehicle after the shot was fired, though he quickly crashed his car and was pronounced dead. While this incident marks yet another instance of a cop killing an unarmed black man, this time the situation was different. It was a possible accident, and the killer was a woman.

How do you get a bigot like StoneToss to stop licking police boots? Put those boots on someone with a vagina. StoneToss must have been so, so, so unbelievably relieved to have learned this was an accidental shooting and not intentional. If it had been intentional, he’d have no choice but to put the good lady Potter up on the same cum and shit-encrusted pedestal he puts all other officers on. But thankfully it was only an accident, so he can now frame this as a way of attacking women. Whew! I’m entirely fucking unsure of what StoneToss means by the mouse over text, “What is it with women and body counts?“. Is he trying to infer this happens often? Is it some kind of stupid, far-reaching jab at abortion? I mean if we want to look at the numbers (StoneToss never wants to look at the numbers, unless he can somehow use faulty data to support a fake argument), then men have killed way more people than women, be them cops or no.

But ah, wait, none of those men ever accidentally killed someone! Male police officers never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever accidentally discharge their weapon. And they NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER accidentally shoot other people with their weapons!!! But that’s okay, because in this case, Potter mistook service weapon for her taser. What a stupid woman (umm, redundant statement much lmao??). We all know that male police officers have NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER shot someone with a gun when they thought it was a taser!!!!!!!!!

StoneToss, like always, gets absolutely buttwrecked by reality. He’s such a weaselly, pathetic little coward. I can’t imagine being the kind of absolute clown who walks around saying stupid shit that ten seconds of Google searching completely undermines. But then I’m not a fucking idiot, so I guess StoneToss and I simply operate on two different frequencies. That’s life, eh?

Just a completely normal and healthy lifestyle choice.

Comic Name: Knotjob
Description: People worried about Trump need to look at the man in the mirror.
Mouseover: Just a completely healthy and normal lifestyle choice.
Image Name: trans-work-suicide-comic-1.png
Originally Published: 9/12/2019

What The Comic Is: A trans man poses the question of how trans people go to work. They explain that first, they put on a dress shirt. In the last panel, they explain they grab a necktie as they place a noose around their throat.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: The worst president in the history of the USA, who was staunchly anti-trans rights, has nothing to do with the oppression that trans people experience.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: On its own this comic is nothing special for StoneToss. He’s made stupid trans suicide comics before, and he doesn’t even mention the epic and never-gets-old “41%” statistic. Instead, though, he makes this a comic concerning Donald Trump.

With the description of the comic in mind, StoneToss is trying to imply that Donald Trump, the de facto worst overall USA President of all time, is not to blame for suffering in the trans community. Ah yes, why would anyone blame the president of the United States for his open anti-trans rhetoric and policies that were targeted towards trans people? Obviously it’s the trans people who are their own worst enemies. This is StoneToss’ stupid attempt to re-frame who the enemy of trans people is. Is it the most powerful political leader in the world who supports and propagates anti-trans policy and feeling? No! It’s the trans people themselves, obviously. After all, StoneToss is a white, cis-gendered man and Trump never said anything bad about him. Trans people are just being babies lol.

I bet you a dollar StoneToss whines and pisses his pants about male suicide, too. Somehow to him it’s this unbelievable and terrible thing when a man kills himself because a court unfairly ruled against him in a child custody match (which to be fair, that is a very terrible thing), but when a trans person is attacked by the president of the United States and kills themselves, it’s because trans people are mentally ill LARPers and people are focusing too much on Donald Trump. Ah, StoneToss. You fuckin’ idiot!

The comic’s name is a really bad pun on the term “nutjob”, which combines the word “nut” (or what StoneToss does when he sees a black man with a white woman) and the word “job” (or what StoneToss would lose if his boss ever finds his shitty online comic).

Shall not be infringed

Comic Name: All Yours
Description: Come and take it.
Mouseover: Shall not be infringed
Image Name: gun-control-comic.png
Originally Published: 9/17/2019

What The Comic Is: A British soldier holds out his hands, proclaiming that he is here to take the colony’s guns. An American soldier, his comrades taking aim with their rifles, tells the British soldier he can start with the ammunition.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: He’s a based freedom fighter.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: “Sure, start with the ammunition,” StoneToss spits back defiantly. He and his brothers in arms needed their high powered automatic rifles for this very day: the day THE LEFTIES (who are weak and cucks and don’t have guns, by the way) TOOK OVER THE WORLD WITH GUNS. StoneToss sat, his weak and unconditioned body completely incapable of putting up much physical resistance against the well equipped, trained and local foe he was making his stand against. But it was okay… they had their guns. The government would never infringe on his right to bear arms. It was foretold, hundreds of years ago (the earth is only a few thousand years old, you see, so really that wasn’t that long ago. Besides, if Jesus didn’t want white men to have guns, why did he bury all the gun powder and fossils?). StoneToss smirked. “Come and take them,” he thought, as a tactical missile fired from three hundred miles away vaporized him, completely demolishing the Wal-Mart he and his freedom fighters were inhabiting. He was a fucking badass, just like the guys from the Revolving War, or whatever.

Someday he’d be the good guy with a gun that stops the bad guy with a gun. He just needed more guns. And also he had to stop being such a coward. And also he needed there to be a situation where an active shooter was at large and he was positioned, with a gun, in such a way as to stop the shooter. Any day now, for sure…

Always worth pointing out that people like StoneToss (read: conservatives of any color) always like to roleplay that they’d be with Washington, fighting against the British for liberty, while in all likelihood they’d have probably been staunch supporters of the monarchy. In StoneToss’ case I suppose he’d just be a village idiot who draws comics in mud, screams at every woman that passes by and then dies of tuberculosis.

A forbidden love.

Comic Name: True Love
Description: Love you, my readers and fellow kings.
Mouseover: A forbidden love.
Image Name: love-wins-comic.png
Originally Published: 9/19/2019

What The Comic Is: A gay man smugly proclaims that “Love wins”. He sees a stereotypical family of a husband, wife, son and daughter who fly the American flag and go to church; his expression turns an annoyed incredulous.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Gay people give a fuck about other families.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Gay people do not fucking care about hetro-normative parents in a cis-gendered relationship raising kids. Like, they just don’t. StoneToss is not a victim (or rather, StoneToss’ world view is not victimized; no woman will ever fuck StoneToss and thus he will never procreate or have a family). Almost 100% of StoneToss’ rhetoric, be it homophobic or transphobic or Islamophobic or Anti-Semitic or sexist or racist or pretty much anything else, always relies heavily on StoneToss somehow portraying himself to be a victim. When he can’t think of any ways to do that, he decides “Ah, screw it, I’ll just strawman so hard that it’s bad even for me” and makes a comic about a gay man getting upset that a nuclear family exists.

StoneToss: No one fucking cares about you, bitch. You could (hypothetically, of course) get a wife and make kids with her, but gay people are not going to be angry. They don’t give a fuck. You are a loser. They only care about “traditional families” when bigots push that as being the only, or the ‘right’, family type. Of course a gay man will be upset if you say “GAY PEOPLE CAN’T RAISE A CHILD, ONLY MAN AND WIFE CAN”, but it’s not because the gay guy is upset that other families exist. If you let him marry his husband and adopt a child and you shut the fuck up and stay in your pathetic, wimpy little lane, then he is never going to notice your lameass exists. He’ll be too busy having sex with his husband and raising his family to ever be concerned with you and your shitty headcannon cope fantasy where Rei from Evangelion comes to life and cooks chicken nuggets for you in between blowjobs.

StoneToss (looking at trans people committing suicide): Bwahahahaha, being a victim is such unbased le cuck fail 8)

StoneToss (making himself a victim in a fake world where gay people care about him): Bwahahaha, being a victim is such based le pepe win 8)

All washed up.

Comic Name: For Sail
Description: Huh, you’d think sea level rise would stop billion dollar skyscraper construction in Manhattan, but whatever…
Mouseover: All washed up.
Image Name: climate-change-comic-1.png
Originally Published: 9/23/2019

What The Comic Is: A man explains that if climate change isn’t solved soon, that another man’s house will end up underwater. The second man, revealed to be selling the house, leans on the ‘for sale’ sign and explains that while that’s great and all, the beachfront property will still cost extra, much to the first man’s disappointment.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Climate change isn’t real because people still build buildings and they wouldn’t do that if climate change was real.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Yeah, StoneToss. People never build stuff in the wrong place or anything. Great argument, you fucking idiot. The worst part about this comic is that it would have been a great comic if it wasn’t for the fact StoneToss is an idiot and included his idiotic commentary via the description. Why make a good comic when you can make a shit comic, though? Oh! Is that the imaginary ding-ding of the toaster oven I hear?! StoneToss, I think your body pillow 14 year old waifu has more pizza rolls for you!!

Thanks for 70 episode of StoneToss Is An Idiot. I’ll see you red pills next time.

StoneToss: Episode 69

They even keep sitting at the back of the school bus.

Comic Name: Civil Blights
Description: True colors.
Mouseover: They even keep sitting at the back of the school bus.
Image Name: blacks-only-fountain-civil-rights-stonetoss-political-cartoon.png
Originally Published: 4/13/2021
Amogus: Second panel, protestor between the one with the hand and the one with the sign.

What The Comic Is: Panel one shows a drinking fountain labeled “Blacks Only”, a group of marching protestors in the background. Panel two shows the same drinking fountain, only this time it is labeled with a fancy “Blacks Only” sign and the protestors are now causing a riot and displaying black power symbols.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Black people don’t want equality, they want privilege.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Go back through historical segregation photos and try to find a single one that where the signs say “BLACKS ONLY“. You probably won’t find any. Because none of the signs ever said “Blacks Only”; it was only ever “Whites Only“. More commonly it simply ever read “Whites” and “Colored”. The ‘colored’ facility, whether a drinking fountain or a public restroom, was historically kept off to the side of the main component, installed as cheaply as possible and hardly upkept. This might mean the “Whites” drinking fountain was a large, clean fountain unit and the “Colored” fountain was a mere offshoot pipe from the main water supply that lead to a basic metal bowl with a water spout. On one hand it was because those who installed and paid for the units didn’t care enough to provide an equal drinking experience to both people, they begrudgingly permitted the “colored people” to have a place to drink because it was considered the most basic human right they were obligated to abide by. On the other hand, however, it was also a humiliation tactic.

It might’ve been more dignified had black people not even had water fountains to drink from at all, but instead they got intentionally lower quality and filthier ones. These were akin to actual monuments of segregation, inescapable reminders that not only were whites and blacks separate, but blacks were considered markedly less important and were forced to use the visibly lesser facilities.

StoneToss is a fucking idiot, however. So in his clown world, where black people not being oppressed means white people are being oppressed, these dirty, low quality drinking fountains were actually totally “the blacks only” hangout spot. Yeah, that’s it. Black people have secretly been trying to supplant white people so they can have exclusive clubs, that’s why white people had to enslave them! In fact, I think the blacks actually liked being enslaved. After all, it was a “BLACKS ONLY” occupation, so it was like a secret club only they could join. White people couldn’t be slaves, that’s pretty racist, right? By the way, like I said before, there was no such thing as a “BLACKS ONLY” drinking fountain; white people didn’t use those drinking fountains because they were dirty and it was a social faux pas to be caught drinking from them. Black people that drank from the “Whites” fountains got arrested, beaten or sometimes killed. What an exclusive club, why can’t whites be equal to blacks and also be murdered for drinking from segregated fountains?????

If StoneToss’ obvious racism wasn’t so incredibly obvious and blatant enough, he calls black people literal ‘social blights’, amounts civil rights to “true colors” (meaning black people don’t argue for fairness and equity but rather exclusivity and better treatment than whites) and argues that “black kids even sit together on the back of the bus!”. This appeal to segregation is a very popular type of racism, where racists argue that races are happiest when kept amongst themselves. It’s appealing rhetoric to racists because it lets them whitewash desires of actual genocide, and the Nazis were advent users of it, too. “I don’t hate black people and I don’t want them to not have a place to be, there’s just so many problems in the world that it would be easier if they all lived in a part of the country or world of their own” is a form of genocide.

StoneToss never wonders why the black kids all sit at the back of the bus. Is it because blacks, to this day, face constant forms of racism and societal grief that causes them to keep to themselves in many places? Nah, it’s just because they want to be better than whites and form their very own Kool Kids Klub. The USA is the land of white people because white people took the land from savage natives (who were taking the land from each other anyways, you guys!!) and now the black people have to leave because if they don’t, Antifa will burn all the cities down and black people will have exclusive drinking fountains and it will be reverse racisms.

StoneToss when he makes a comic for his shitty racist cronies: lol blacks only water fountain

StoneToss when he looks at porn: white women with blacks only tattoos

 Next generation bugmen.

Comic Name: Worm Food
Description: bon appetit.
Mouseover: Next generation bugmen.
Image Name: i-just-wanna-grill-comic.png
Originally Published: 9/9/2019

What The Comic Is: A man expresses that he isn’t interested in politics, he just wants to grill. He begins to flip one of his grilling burgers, only to be shocked to find it’s full of worms and bugs. He takes a hard, unbelieving look at his box of burger patties, unwittingly finding that he has purchased “Bug Burger”.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Leftists want to eat bugs like people from countries that aren’t white people countries.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: “You may not be interested in politics, but politics is interested in you,” is a popular old adage that this comic runs next to. The saying means that even if you are not individually interested in politics, that you will still be subject to political changes whether or not you don’t like them or wouldn’t have supported them. This comic mirrors that, with the man claiming he just wants to grill, but little did he know that his un-involvement in politics would lead to a leftist hellscape where bugs can be made into burgers!!! It’s not his fault he didn’t read the fucking box, it’s not the free capitalist market’s fault for producing bug burgers. No, it’s the lefty-wefty-tighty-wighty’s fault for making WHITE PEOPLE eat BUGS like people from AFRICA or INDIA or SOMEWHERE that isn’t WHITE.

StoneToss and idiots of his ilk have bizarre obsessions with things such as insect meat as protein alternatives. They hate recycled water, too. Or space-friendly homes. Or anything that asks someone to change in a small way or respect natural resources and limit human pollution. If you ask them, it’s because they’re all BASED REDPILLED MEGA CHADS WHO LIVE IN FORT AWESOMEz 8). If you ask someone who isn’t a total asshole, it’s actually because StoneToss is wildly immature and never just grew the fuck up. And so here we are: this is the best StoneToss can do. A stupid fucking comic about eating bugs.

Nothing will get the alt-righters to the polls faster than “tHe LeFt WiLl MaKe YoU eAt BuGs”. If it isn’t “Trump will kick out the Mexicans”, or “The Jews will replace us”, or “Trans people are pedophiles”, then surely “eat bugs” will be what seals the Based World Order. Sadly, as you usually need a means of transportation and you have to wake up early enough to do it, this means a majority of alt-righters will be unable to make it to most important elections. At least their marginally more responsible, but sadly marginally less extreme, conservacousins will vote a couple of mildly ridiculous candidates into office, though unfortunately many of these will end up arrested after storming the capital in 2021. I guess they, for the moment, still have Marjorie Taylor Greene? Though she is also a woman


The comic’s name, Worm Food, is a stupid joke that if you don’t pay attention to what (((da leftifts)))) are doing, then you will become worm food (a slang for dead!!!! omg)

Ben Garrison: Episode 4

Comic Name: Woke Dr. Seuss

I don’t get it, who cut the Communist sneetches’ head off? Why is he holding his own head?? I like the angry fish with arms looking straight up like a high school football team mascot, though. Garrison hardly even depicts some of these things as looking that bad. Again, “McElligot’s Kneel” straight up looks like empowering imagery, lol. THE CAT IN THE MASK??, oh no he looks kind of sad because of the mask wow oh no. Horton Hears The W.H.O telling him to lock down, how terrible. Garrison is so fucking lazy and shitty that he just thinks “I don’t even have to make masks or lockdowns look actively bad, my dumbass readers will automatically assume all of this for me!”. And okay, point to Garrison, he’s definitely not wrong. At this point, after more than a decade of shilling to the lowest common denominator on the Right, all Garrison really as to do is draw a caricature of literally any noteworthy democrat and write SAD LOW ENERGY! across them and the absolute sentient dirtclods that gargle his shit will think it’s hilarious.

Continuing on his unbroken streak of making shitty puns, “Green Eggs and Jab” is goddamned abominable. I guess I’ll give him partial credit for at least bothering to depict the syringe as steaming and dripping viscous, poisonous-looking goo. That’s certainly a far more blatant image than Horton making a slightly concerned face at the W.H.O.

I love this comic, though. Really I do. The Dr. Seuss debacle had absolutely nothing to do with BLM, vaccines or lockdowns, but Garrison isn’t quite openly racist enough to make commentary on things like offensive caricatures of black and Asian people, so he just madly shifts the Seuss narrative to a more comfortable place, which is whining about BLM and Covid. He knew the Seuss stuff was too hot to not take a shot at (and who could pass up the chance to see the immortal characters of Dr. Seuss redrawn by a lazy, bigoted fat geriatric?) but he also didn’t want to, or didn’t know what to say, involving the actual ‘controversy’ that concerned how Seuss depicted certain people of color. Does it make sense? Not in the fucking slightest. Does it stop a bunch of idiots from making the Cat in the Mask their Facebook avatars in between being banned for posting Proud Boys memes? I dunno. Does Ben Garrison pee standing up? (The answer is no: he never moves from his computer chair and his body had readily adapted to simply reabsorbing all waste material for calorie collection).

StoneToss: Episode 68

they took 'er jerbs

Comic Name: Nueve-to-Cinco
Description: Pro-borders is pro-labor
Mouseover: they took ‘er jerbs
Image Name: immigration-taking-jobs-comic.png
Originally Published: 9/3/2019

What The Comic Is: A gay man leads a second man down a hallway. As they pass by a brown man mopping the floors, the gay man remarks “See? Immigrants just want to work”. In the next panel it is shown that the man he is leading down the hall is holding a résumé.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Immigration destroys American jobs.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Immigrants working in the USA is a touchy subject. While many people will write off immigrant labor as “doing the jobs no one else wants to do”, this is usually not the truth. It’s true that if someone comes to the USA and takes a job, then that job is taken. Someone else can’t work the position, it is already filled. This isn’t wrong, and it’s sometimes how things work. I, the author of this blog and all of its posts, grew up and spent a good part of my life in northeastern Iowa. Living in a very rural part of an already very rural state, I saw my share of Mexicans (plenty of them undocumented) and how they worked. I spent a couple of summers doing field labor (de-tasseling corn was an especially miserable one). However, one year I stopped doing it. Why? Because the lady I would find regular employment from stopped her business. Why? Because she got outcompeted by the Mexican workers.

Now keep in mind, I was just a random high school kid who did this as a summer job for peanut money. The Mexican immigrants were men and women who were being abused by a predatory labor system while trying to make basic ends meet for their families, so there’s no bad blood betwixt I and the field workers who sucked up my job (and we’ll actually get back to all this soon). However, it isn’t just random low-pay field work that immigrants take. I lived very close to the town of Postville, Iowa. In 2008 the meat processing plant Agriprocessors was the ground zero of the, at the time, largest ICE raid in US history. 400 undocumented people were seized and deported/had their RuneScape accounts permbanned. Agriprocessors went belly-up immediately after this, in large part because the undocumented people accounted for basically their entire employee force. One of the meat facility’s primary leaders, a son of the founder of the facility, Sholom Rubashkin, was arrested and sentenced to 27 years in prison.

The employment of undocumented people was only part of the issue. The facility faced numerous issues ranging from the treatment of the animals to the lack of food safety protocols. At any rate, the plant was shut down for around a year until it was bought by someone else and reopened as Agri Star, which it operates as to this day. Agri Star turned the town of Postville around, like a huge 180. My own brother and several of our friends worked there for years. It went from a seedy, dirty and illicit factory operation into something that brought very good employment to hundreds of people in the local area. It’s pretty hard to take arguments of “They only do jobs no one else does!” seriously when I’ve seen firsthand what this looks like. These days Agri Star employs many Somalian immigrants who have moved to that part of the country, helping a lot of them establish life in the USA.

But I drone on. I swear this all has a point, so just bear with me for a bit. We’re going to shit all over StoneToss, don’t worry. Trust me. Instead of touting that undocumented workers “only do work no one else wants to do”, we need to frame it as “they only do work that no one else can realistically do“. You are not helping undocumented workers by likening them to slave labor who fulfil jobs in only the most laborious or miserable of fields. Remember when I said I did field work in my younger years? Yeah, guess who was doing 99% of that work? The answer is: Highschool kids and undocumented Mexicans. In my time working in the fields, I saw a single adult man working along with us, and he was a teacher from our local school who did it because he was a fitness freak who always had to be doing something. Does anyone support their family with this field work? No. Why? Because it’s low pay, has no benefits, is seasonal and is treated as something for kids and brown people who don’t English so good.

So here’s a question: Why isn’t field work something you could raise a family on? Here’s the answer: because it’s something that only kids and undocumented labor does. Because the companies behind these jobs, corrupt megacorps like Monsanto (who I was basically sub-contracted to), keep it that way. Can you imagine if weeding bean fields or ripping dicks off of corn (which is exactly what de-tasseling is, by the way) paid competitive wages, offered healthcare and unemployment benefits? Could you imagine if these multi-billion dollar companies treated the work like a “real” job, and paid their employees respectively? Needless to say, it would no longer be a “job no one wants to do”. There’s no such thing as a job “no one wants to do” (well, okay, most jobs are jobs that no one necessarily wants to do, but there’s no such thing as a job that no one would do if it paid accordingly). So in reality, saying “they do jobs no one else wants to do” is just enabling shitty companies like Monsanto to continue more or less taking advantage of people, as you can bet that the undocumented workers who took my shitty field job were, in some way, lining Monsanto’s pockets the same way I had been.

Alright so let’s go back to Agriprocessors. After the ICE raid and its total capitulation as a company, it was purchased and reopened. As I’ve already said, its rebirth as Agri Star under new ownership was a bomb blast that revitalized the town of Postville and surrounding area. It was so easy to be employed, and for a time it was even slightly racist in that regard (the popular saying was “if you’re white and piss clean, Agri Star will always hire you). So the 400 undocumented workers who were employed at the original company were certainly, and very visibly, impacting lives of other people around them. And unfortunately, during their time at Agriprocessors, those undocumented workers were being taken advantage of in the same way they’re taken advantage of anywhere else. So it’s really a lose-lose for everyone, except the companies that are rolling huge profit.

The problem with undocumented, or even documented immigrants (this shitty comic doesn’t even imply the brown man is an illegal immigrant, just that de brown pplz terk er jerbs), is not that “they take our jobs”, it’s that employers take wanton advantage of them and remove the necessary element of competitiveness from the job market. If the company can get away with hiring undocumented labor for pennies on the dollar and offer zero benefits or job stability and treat them pretty much like slaves, then how can anyone expect there to be a chance for that job to both 1.) Not be totally shit and 2.) Documented citizens to ever want to work it. If you force employers to make their job fair and compensate correctly, then you no longer have abused immigrants working 13 hour days for 30 dollars. You no longer have a meat processing plant employing 400 undocumented people in deplorable, filthy conditions. You create healthy, self-sustaining and growth-inclined communities where people can naturally compete for jobs.

There can’t always be enough jobs everywhere for everyone. That’s just how things work. Life isn’t that easy to quantify, but the notion of droves of Mexicans crossing the border and stealing all the jobs from honest, hardworking, red blooded, white skinned, non-Muslim, heterosexual, white skinned, cis-gendered, Conservative, white-skinned Americans is ridiculous. It’s nothing more than a vague and hard to prove excuse for general racism. StoneToss is masquerading xenophobia and hatred for brown people as a “legitimate” argument that if we let people immigrate to the USA, they will take jobs from us. In reality, the real issue that actually hurts people (immigrants and existing citizens alike) is the companies that take advantage of this situation, due to the nature of how immigration works in most of the country. This doesn’t turn brown people into a boogeyman, though, so of course StoneToss ignores it.

Oh right and that guy I mentioned before? Sholom Rubashkin? The primary leader of Agriprocessors at the time of the ICE raid, who was sentenced to 27 years in prison? That guy? Yeah, well, in 2017 Donald Trump commuted his sentence and he was released. At this point in time StoneToss was already expressing unhappiness and even disdain for Trump; but that Donald Trump, who was supposed to be a beacon of nationalism and closed borders, commuted the sentence of a man who went to prison for employing hundreds of undocumented workers, is, well. Pretty fucking hilarious. It’s heartwarming, almost, to think that it seems as if hardcore xenophobic conservatives have no legitimate footing in high office, that anyone singing their tune is just a twofaced shill using them for votes so they can get into office and trade financial favors to guys like Sholom. Of course. in reality, we still have to remain vigilant and give no tolerance to bigotry and fascism in government, but we can always muse and appreciate the absolute, abject loss that StoneToss is made out of.

Whew. Almost done now, I promise. Anyways, I want to touch on the comic’s mouse over text. “They terk ‘er jerbs” is a popular phrase originating from South Park. It is meant to make fun of and mock uneducated, twang-slinging bigots who are concerned with immigrants “stealing” jobs. StoneToss uses this quote, unedited in any way, as a way of trying to “reclaim” it. He knows full well that South Park is making fun of people like him, but this is his limpdicked little way of trying to take it and reframe it as a mic drop moment: to StoneToss, South Park was right. They terk er jerbs. They should’ve taken you back to the fifth grade, you fucking dumbass.

Today’s post was a really long one so I’m going to spare you anymore tl;dr. I didn’t plan to turn this into some kind of full length essay, but this is a topic I have experienced in a very up close way, so I normally have a lot to say about it. As always, thanks for reading. I love u.

StoneToss: Episode 67

umm, based?

Comic Name: Reap What You Soy
Description: “Liberals get the bullet too.” – liberal
Mouseover: umm, based?
Image Name: portland-protests-stonetoss-political-cartoon.png
Originally Published: 4/6/2021

What The Comic Is: A Starbucks coffeeshop stands in Portland, a gay pride banner hanging in its window. A MAGA hat man leers at the Starbucks with suspicion and contempt. In the next panel, Antifa pajama soldiers vandalize and destroy the Starbucks, to which the MAGA hat man now reacts with overblown concern and sadness.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Conservatives are expert concern trolls.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Alright so, StoneToss isn’t wrong. Conservatives are the ultimate bad faith actors, sure. However, this comic is a bit more than just conservatives and their concern trolling. Not only that, but a lot of people will look at this comic and take away that StoneToss is a moderate who makes fun of both sides, which is not the case at all. Whenever StoneToss rarely aims any shade at the right, it’s always softballs and it’s always somehow making the left look worse anyways. It is incredibly important to expose and realize that StoneToss is not “making fun of both sides”, he is not a moderate or a centrist. He’s a hard, far-right fundamental religionist fascist who occasionally ribs his less extreme cousins.

The comic contains a pretty blatant subtext in showing the Antifa thugz destroying the same Starbucks that 1.) StoneToss constantly pictures Antifa members drinking/patronizing and 2.) was depicted as hanging a gay pride flag in its window. With the comic’s name and description we can tell that this is actually more about trying to make fun of Antifa rather than conservative bad faith acting. This lines up perfectly with the narrative that StoneToss throws far more mud towards the left and when he dares to look to the right, he gives the faintest and most token of wet farts; just enough that his dumbass fans can (attempt to) reasonably argue that StoneToss “tOtAlLy MaKeS fUn Of BoTh SiDeS”.

While the MAGA man is depicted as a twofaced concern troll who exaggerates his reactions in both panels, Antifa is depicted as riotous destroyers of anarchy, who eat themselves and are too stupid to not destroy the very things they love/that support them.

Hot mic.

Comic Name: Speak Volumes
Description: …said the webcomic artist ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Mouseover: Hot mic.
Image Name: right-wing-podcasting-comic.png
Originally Published: 8/28/2019

What The Comic Is: A man bursts into the door of billionaire George Soros’ bedroom, crying out that he has terrible news. Soros, visibly sweating and fully of worry, utters that it can not be. But the man assures him that yes: it can be, informing Soros that the racists have started another podcast, much to Soros’ shocked expression.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: It’s okay to be racist and bigoted if you’re just podcasting, bro. It doesn’t actually hurt anything.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Though the comic concerns podcasts, StoneToss obviously means to lump in his comic with it (as made all the blatant by the description). It’s basically trying to handwave racist podcasts, comics, blogs or i.e., just general racist sentiment and feelings, as being ineffective and therefore harmless/not to be taken seriously.

Again, like the comic before, this might seem like StoneToss is making fun of himself or his alt-right allies, but he’s really not. Instead he’s trying to minimize the effect he and others have in spreading racist sentiment and messages while trying to make fun of the left for caring so much. Yes, it’s so odd and weird that people aren’t okay with fascists spreading fascist propaganda. What do they think it leads to?! Fascism spreading to politics or something?!?! When has that ever happened, I mean, COME ON!

But we all know that StoneToss doesn’t think so low of himself. His brain is el smallo, but his ego and desire to spread his fascist garbage is el mucho. He doesn’t seriously think his comic is something harmless that doesn’t amount to anything, he’s just trying to paint a picture where his shitty, fascist little webcomic is a harmless little dandelion. This gives his defenders another club to try swinging around, as they try to discredit detractors by crying about how “harmless” and “inconsequential” StoneToss’ comic is. StoneToss’ comic is racist, transphobic, xenophobic and Anti-Semitic (to just name a few). His defenders will try to claim “it’s just his opinion” or “it’s just another point of view” and will question why we can’t just “let StoneToss feel the way he feels”, and this enabling and normalizing of bigotry is exactly how it ends up being voted into political offices and spreading in places where it can do actual harm to real people.

Yeah, a StoneToss comic never directly hurt anyone, but that isn’t the fucking point. When you take all the racist podcasts and all the racist webcomics and all the racist memes and all the gutless cuck defenders who think kowtowing to bigotry makes them “Chad anti-PC winnarz” and you put that into a society that doesn’t constantly check and reject it, you end up with fascists in the government. Each individual piece, small as it is on its own, is all part of a greater flow of bigoted sentiments that coalesce and feed into other bigger, stronger and more legitimized sentiments. But it’s okay, it’s not like that ever lead to anything bad happening, amirite?

Ben Garrison: Episode 3

Comic Name: Government The Taker

I love how Garrison can’t be bothered to actually draw some lines on the pyramid of the Illuminati guy’s head, so instead of the Eye of Providence, it looks more like just a triangle, or maybe a nacho chip. Also, is it just me, or does he draw the nacho chip man especially buff? Garrison, you dog. I knew you always wanted to fuck the Illuminati, I just didn’t know you wanted the Illuminati to fuck you. I also don’t know why, but I love that Garrison depicts the cyclops eye of the pyramid to have a normal eyebrow. Normally when you have a one-eyed character, their eyebrow (if any) is a sort of unibrow that extends over the single eye, but this guy seems to have a normal right eyebrow. Everything about this character looks like a child’s depiction that Garrison redrew in higher quality.

And what the hell is happening in the third panel, exactly? What are their legs doing?? Some sort of fierce dance? If you examine the legs closely, there’s six individual legs. The nacho man’s leg is in front, followed next by the MAGA guy. Then it’s Nacho man’s leg, then MAGA guy’s, then two “phantom legs” that are supposed to make it look like each man’s respective back leg is moving quickly. So, alright. Again I have to ask: what the fuck are their legs doing??? It looks like they’re trying to do some kind of aggressive male scissoring. Do they want to desperately touch their cocks together, but the box of ammo is in the way? Is this a commentary on how we could all have gay balls-on-balls sex if only guns didn’t exist? Sure, why not.

Garrison is too old and lazy to bother coming up with an actual boogeyman, so he just generically labels the nacho man as “Ruling Class”, so the reader can kind of implant whoever the fuck they want into the role. Very interactive, Garrison. Finally your readers can imagine touching dicks with the shallow hate-obsession of their choice.

“Molon Labe” is a Roman* expression roughly translated as “Come and take them”, which is what a gun nut screams concerning Donald Trump’s gun control. It’s also what you’d scream to the buff nacho chip cyclops when you’re face-down-ass-up and vigorously wagging your balls.


StoneToss: Episode 66

After a brief unintended Easter break, StoneToss Is An Idiot resumes as normal.

It's been tried before.

Comic Name: COME to Jesus
Description: How quickly we forget.
Mouseover: It’s been tried before.
Image Name: homosexuality-in-the-church-comic.png
Originally Published: 8/21/2019

What The Comic Is: A man holds a crying child, crying out that there are homosexuals in the church. He points to an incorrectly drawn set of stairs that lead up to a cartoony castle-like church that is clearly missing one of its double doors. From within the doorway, a hand menacingly grabs out; this panel is labeled “Then”. In the next panel, labeled “Now”, the same scene plays out, but this time the man is happily offering the child to the church and the hand is now beckoning expectantly. The castle now flies a gay pride flag.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Homosexuality is pedophilia and “woke culture” has allowed pedophiles into the church under the protection of a pro-gay society.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: No idea what StoneToss means by “How quickly we forget” or “It’s been tried before”. He seems to be alluding to some previous instance of homosexuals in the church but whatever it is, it alludes me with its obscurity. It’s not unlikely that whatever he’s referencing is known only to him, as no one on the comments section of the comic seems to know what the fuck he’s talking about, either.

The comments section of this particular comic is especially funny. It is one of the few comment sections that has open arguments where the people saying “This comic sucks” or “Homophobes have no argument” aren’t being downvoted to oblivion, but are rather getting a good mix of upvotes and downvotes. Perhaps this comic was brigaded sometime around its publish date, or perhaps it’s so stupid that StoneToss’ more casual followers didn’t agree with it. At any rate, some of the bigots in the comments openly commented on StoneToss’ bend towards religion, so it seems as if by this comic some people have finally started noticing what a boner StoneToss has for church and Christianity; he’s less of a based truthpiller and more of a bigoted VeggieTales.

Anyways, this comic fails on multiple levels (as StoneToss always does. He’s not a virgin single level failer, he’s a CHAD multiple level failer). First is that, obviously, homosexuality is not synonymous with pedophilia. This is the common and incredibly tired fake argument constantly pushed by homophobe bigots like StoneToss (that the ‘slippery slope’ of homosexuality leads to pedophilia). The second is that StoneToss attempts to shift blame from churches for their infamous penchant of the abuse of children. If StoneToss can falsely apply “homosexuality” to the abuses perpetrated by priests, he can turn it into a boogeyman that serves as a vehicle both to legitimize his homophobia and take responsibility off of religious leaders, as those who commit pedophilia can now be labeled as “the homosexual threat”. This is an attempt to twist reality: priests don’t molest boys, homosexuals molest boys. This makes a convenient clown world for StoneToss, a world where his precious church is absolved from blame and where homosexuals are villainized.

See, it’s not priests and the power they have both over their church and community, in which a complex and deeply dogmatic social structure places them in a position of great reverence, that is to blame for the molestation and abuse children face. It’s HOMOS. I mean, like, duh. Did you think a true believer of ChristJesus could possibly do something bad like molest a child? No sorry, it’s the (((homosexuals))) that the (((lefties))) defend with their (((logic))) and (((facts))) because they live in (((fucking reality))) and do more productive things than express constant intolerance of everyone else. I mean, like, (((duh))).

If there was ANY doubt from anyone that StoneToss isn’t a hardcore devotee of Christianity who uses its teachings (or at least carefully and maliciously cherry picks and twists those that agree with him) as a moral compass for his bigotry, then this comic soundly dispels that doubt. StoneToss could’ve easily, and very reasonably, simply made a commentary about pedophilia in churches. However, he defends the churches by slapping the situation with a giant, bigoted red herring in order to frame homosexuals for the atrocities committed by the same people StoneToss relies on in order to validate his childish worldviews.

Set phasers to shill.

Comic Name: Regal Aliens
Description: We come in “peace”.
Mouseover: Set phasers to shill.
Image Name: alien-leader-comic.png
Originally Published: 8/26/2019

What The Comic Is: Two aliens land on earth, bidding the classic phrase “Take us to your leader”. The president of the United States (carefully left faceless by not showing his head, though his hands are depicted as white) explains that he is the President of the United States, though he is interrupted by the aliens as they brush past him, telling him “that’s a good one”. The aliens open the door of the Presidential limo, greeting the occupant inside with a “Shalom!”.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Jews operate the country from behind the scenes and let illegal aliens into the country.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: At face value this comic is pretty easy to digest. The aliens come to earth, want to see our leader, the leader turns out to be not the President, but a nameless/faceless Jewish Illuminati overlord who is kept secret from the public (“Shalom” is a common Jewish greeting or parting word that translates as “Peace”). However, if you’ve kept up with this blog then you should be well aware that StoneToss’ idiocy is rarely so skin deep. The purple aliens are obviously metaphors for immigrants, StoneToss is once again whining about Donald Trump not building a fucking border wall.

StoneToss expressed very strong, very LE BASED energy towards Trump early into his political run and time as President. When it became more and more obvious that Trump wasn’t able or willing to fully realize the promise of a border wall, StoneToss very quickly soured towards him (as you can plainly see from some of the past comics featured on this blog). Though the President in this comic is very cleverly left faceless as to make the comic a truly timeless bigoted commentary, it’s clear that this is StoneToss finally admitting that Donald Trump was no different from every other President before (and possibly after); failpilled (((cuck))) puppets of Da FuCkInG iRl IlLuMiNaTi OmFg. StoneToss didn’t get his border wall and copes with it by depicting every US President as being Jew World Order puppets. Is there any end to this man and his absolute alpha male chad basedness? No wonder girls don’t fuck him. It’s because they know his pure CHAD BASED 3 inch dick would absolutely obliterate them. With great basedness comes great celibacy.

The comic’s name, “Regal Aliens” is a really stupid play on the term “Illegal Alien”, or in this case “Legal Alien”, as it is the (((Jewbs))) who make them not only legal, but regal. Yes, the impoverished immigrants who usually come to the USA with nothing and sometimes acquire very basic social benefits that allow them to not die is SURE THE SAME THING AS REGALITY, very good pun very smart such a good bigot. Oh but wait, you’re not allowed to want all of them to be executed and kept in their “own” country without people calling you a xenophobic dumbfuck… my god they REALLY ARE REGAlity111111!!!1

StoneToss puts the word ‘peace’ in quotations in the comic’s description. As mentioned before, ‘Shalom’ is the Hebrew word for ‘peace’. Get it??? Because aliens say they come in peace but Shalom is a word in another language that also means peace???? Don’t you get it?????? With great and unending celibacy comes random, pointless and shallow observations that words exist in different languages.