Ben Garrison: Episode 3

Comic Name: Government The Taker

I love how Garrison can’t be bothered to actually draw some lines on the pyramid of the Illuminati guy’s head, so instead of the Eye of Providence, it looks more like just a triangle, or maybe a nacho chip. Also, is it just me, or does he draw the nacho chip man especially buff? Garrison, you dog. I knew you always wanted to fuck the Illuminati, I just didn’t know you wanted the Illuminati to fuck you. I also don’t know why, but I love that Garrison depicts the cyclops eye of the pyramid to have a normal eyebrow. Normally when you have a one-eyed character, their eyebrow (if any) is a sort of unibrow that extends over the single eye, but this guy seems to have a normal right eyebrow. Everything about this character looks like a child’s depiction that Garrison redrew in higher quality.

And what the hell is happening in the third panel, exactly? What are their legs doing?? Some sort of fierce dance? If you examine the legs closely, there’s six individual legs. The nacho man’s leg is in front, followed next by the MAGA guy. Then it’s Nacho man’s leg, then MAGA guy’s, then two “phantom legs” that are supposed to make it look like each man’s respective back leg is moving quickly. So, alright. Again I have to ask: what the fuck are their legs doing??? It looks like they’re trying to do some kind of aggressive male scissoring. Do they want to desperately touch their cocks together, but the box of ammo is in the way? Is this a commentary on how we could all have gay balls-on-balls sex if only guns didn’t exist? Sure, why not.

Garrison is too old and lazy to bother coming up with an actual boogeyman, so he just generically labels the nacho man as “Ruling Class”, so the reader can kind of implant whoever the fuck they want into the role. Very interactive, Garrison. Finally your readers can imagine touching dicks with the shallow hate-obsession of their choice.

“Molon Labe” is a Roman* expression roughly translated as “Come and take them”, which is what a gun nut screams concerning Donald Trump’s gun control. It’s also what you’d scream to the buff nacho chip cyclops when you’re face-down-ass-up and vigorously wagging your balls.

*ROMAN IS NOT LATIN

5 thoughts on “Ben Garrison: Episode 3

    1. Yes. It’s an ancient Greek phrase that roughly translates to “Come and take them”, making ‘molon labe’ the even more lame and neckbeardy wannabe badass megasoldier of honarz and gloriez version of the popular pro-second amendment chant. I see I call it “Latin” in the post, so good catch, lol. I got my dead languages used for pretentious modern slogans mixed up when I was writing, I suppose.

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