StoneToss: Episode 70 (Special Edition 5)

Welcome to yet another special edition of StoneToss Is An Idiot. Crazy to think we’re getting so close to 100 episodes. Maybe in another year or three I’ll actually catch up to StoneToss’ current comics. But hey, if you’re interested, feel free to support my dumb project on Patreon. For small tithes of financial credit, you can help a blog make fun of StoneToss.

What is it with women and body counts?

Comic Name: Lethal Force
Description: Femme fatale
Mouseover: What is it with women and body counts?
Image Name: female-cops-stonetoss-political-cartoon.png
Originally Published: 4/15/2021
Amogus: Second panel, the car’s headlight.

What The Comic Is: A man in the midst of an armed bank robbery stands with his looted dollar bags and potted plant, sweating profusely as the law enforcement officers out the window demand he comes out with his hands up. In the second panel, the S.W.A.T officer finishes with “…Or we’re sending the female cops.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Women are always making mistakes and therefore should probably not be in “men” jobs, such as police officers.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Made obviously in response to the April 11th incident where Kimberly Ann Potter, a police officer of the Minnesota town of Brooklyn City, claimed to have only accidentally shot and killed 20 year old Daunte Wright. Potter alleges she thought the 9mm Glock handgun was her taser when she pulled it out and fired on Daunte, striking him a single time. Daunte tried to flee away in his vehicle after the shot was fired, though he quickly crashed his car and was pronounced dead. While this incident marks yet another instance of a cop killing an unarmed black man, this time the situation was different. It was a possible accident, and the killer was a woman.

How do you get a bigot like StoneToss to stop licking police boots? Put those boots on someone with a vagina. StoneToss must have been so, so, so unbelievably relieved to have learned this was an accidental shooting and not intentional. If it had been intentional, he’d have no choice but to put the good lady Potter up on the same cum and shit-encrusted pedestal he puts all other officers on. But thankfully it was only an accident, so he can now frame this as a way of attacking women. Whew! I’m entirely fucking unsure of what StoneToss means by the mouse over text, “What is it with women and body counts?“. Is he trying to infer this happens often? Is it some kind of stupid, far-reaching jab at abortion? I mean if we want to look at the numbers (StoneToss never wants to look at the numbers, unless he can somehow use faulty data to support a fake argument), then men have killed way more people than women, be them cops or no.

But ah, wait, none of those men ever accidentally killed someone! Male police officers never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever accidentally discharge their weapon. And they NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER accidentally shoot other people with their weapons!!! But that’s okay, because in this case, Potter mistook service weapon for her taser. What a stupid woman (umm, redundant statement much lmao??). We all know that male police officers have NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER shot someone with a gun when they thought it was a taser!!!!!!!!!

StoneToss, like always, gets absolutely buttwrecked by reality. He’s such a weaselly, pathetic little coward. I can’t imagine being the kind of absolute clown who walks around saying stupid shit that ten seconds of Google searching completely undermines. But then I’m not a fucking idiot, so I guess StoneToss and I simply operate on two different frequencies. That’s life, eh?

Just a completely normal and healthy lifestyle choice.

Comic Name: Knotjob
Description: People worried about Trump need to look at the man in the mirror.
Mouseover: Just a completely healthy and normal lifestyle choice.
Image Name: trans-work-suicide-comic-1.png
Originally Published: 9/12/2019

What The Comic Is: A trans man poses the question of how trans people go to work. They explain that first, they put on a dress shirt. In the last panel, they explain they grab a necktie as they place a noose around their throat.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: The worst president in the history of the USA, who was staunchly anti-trans rights, has nothing to do with the oppression that trans people experience.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: On its own this comic is nothing special for StoneToss. He’s made stupid trans suicide comics before, and he doesn’t even mention the epic and never-gets-old “41%” statistic. Instead, though, he makes this a comic concerning Donald Trump.

With the description of the comic in mind, StoneToss is trying to imply that Donald Trump, the de facto worst overall USA President of all time, is not to blame for suffering in the trans community. Ah yes, why would anyone blame the president of the United States for his open anti-trans rhetoric and policies that were targeted towards trans people? Obviously it’s the trans people who are their own worst enemies. This is StoneToss’ stupid attempt to re-frame who the enemy of trans people is. Is it the most powerful political leader in the world who supports and propagates anti-trans policy and feeling? No! It’s the trans people themselves, obviously. After all, StoneToss is a white, cis-gendered man and Trump never said anything bad about him. Trans people are just being babies lol.

I bet you a dollar StoneToss whines and pisses his pants about male suicide, too. Somehow to him it’s this unbelievable and terrible thing when a man kills himself because a court unfairly ruled against him in a child custody match (which to be fair, that is a very terrible thing), but when a trans person is attacked by the president of the United States and kills themselves, it’s because trans people are mentally ill LARPers and people are focusing too much on Donald Trump. Ah, StoneToss. You fuckin’ idiot!

The comic’s name is a really bad pun on the term “nutjob”, which combines the word “nut” (or what StoneToss does when he sees a black man with a white woman) and the word “job” (or what StoneToss would lose if his boss ever finds his shitty online comic).

Shall not be infringed

Comic Name: All Yours
Description: Come and take it.
Mouseover: Shall not be infringed
Image Name: gun-control-comic.png
Originally Published: 9/17/2019

What The Comic Is: A British soldier holds out his hands, proclaiming that he is here to take the colony’s guns. An American soldier, his comrades taking aim with their rifles, tells the British soldier he can start with the ammunition.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: He’s a based freedom fighter.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: “Sure, start with the ammunition,” StoneToss spits back defiantly. He and his brothers in arms needed their high powered automatic rifles for this very day: the day THE LEFTIES (who are weak and cucks and don’t have guns, by the way) TOOK OVER THE WORLD WITH GUNS. StoneToss sat, his weak and unconditioned body completely incapable of putting up much physical resistance against the well equipped, trained and local foe he was making his stand against. But it was okay… they had their guns. The government would never infringe on his right to bear arms. It was foretold, hundreds of years ago (the earth is only a few thousand years old, you see, so really that wasn’t that long ago. Besides, if Jesus didn’t want white men to have guns, why did he bury all the gun powder and fossils?). StoneToss smirked. “Come and take them,” he thought, as a tactical missile fired from three hundred miles away vaporized him, completely demolishing the Wal-Mart he and his freedom fighters were inhabiting. He was a fucking badass, just like the guys from the Revolving War, or whatever.

Someday he’d be the good guy with a gun that stops the bad guy with a gun. He just needed more guns. And also he had to stop being such a coward. And also he needed there to be a situation where an active shooter was at large and he was positioned, with a gun, in such a way as to stop the shooter. Any day now, for sure…

Always worth pointing out that people like StoneToss (read: conservatives of any color) always like to roleplay that they’d be with Washington, fighting against the British for liberty, while in all likelihood they’d have probably been staunch supporters of the monarchy. In StoneToss’ case I suppose he’d just be a village idiot who draws comics in mud, screams at every woman that passes by and then dies of tuberculosis.

A forbidden love.


Comic Name: True Love
Description: Love you, my readers and fellow kings.
Mouseover: A forbidden love.
Image Name: love-wins-comic.png
Originally Published: 9/19/2019

What The Comic Is: A gay man smugly proclaims that “Love wins”. He sees a stereotypical family of a husband, wife, son and daughter who fly the American flag and go to church; his expression turns an annoyed incredulous.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Gay people give a fuck about other families.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Gay people do not fucking care about hetro-normative parents in a cis-gendered relationship raising kids. Like, they just don’t. StoneToss is not a victim (or rather, StoneToss’ world view is not victimized; no woman will ever fuck StoneToss and thus he will never procreate or have a family). Almost 100% of StoneToss’ rhetoric, be it homophobic or transphobic or Islamophobic or Anti-Semitic or sexist or racist or pretty much anything else, always relies heavily on StoneToss somehow portraying himself to be a victim. When he can’t think of any ways to do that, he decides “Ah, screw it, I’ll just strawman so hard that it’s bad even for me” and makes a comic about a gay man getting upset that a nuclear family exists.

StoneToss: No one fucking cares about you, bitch. You could (hypothetically, of course) get a wife and make kids with her, but gay people are not going to be angry. They don’t give a fuck. You are a loser. They only care about “traditional families” when bigots push that as being the only, or the ‘right’, family type. Of course a gay man will be upset if you say “GAY PEOPLE CAN’T RAISE A CHILD, ONLY MAN AND WIFE CAN”, but it’s not because the gay guy is upset that other families exist. If you let him marry his husband and adopt a child and you shut the fuck up and stay in your pathetic, wimpy little lane, then he is never going to notice your lameass exists. He’ll be too busy having sex with his husband and raising his family to ever be concerned with you and your shitty headcannon cope fantasy where Rei from Evangelion comes to life and cooks chicken nuggets for you in between blowjobs.

StoneToss (looking at trans people committing suicide): Bwahahahaha, being a victim is such unbased le cuck fail 8)

StoneToss (making himself a victim in a fake world where gay people care about him): Bwahahaha, being a victim is such based le pepe win 8)

All washed up.

Comic Name: For Sail
Description: Huh, you’d think sea level rise would stop billion dollar skyscraper construction in Manhattan, but whatever…
Mouseover: All washed up.
Image Name: climate-change-comic-1.png
Originally Published: 9/23/2019

What The Comic Is: A man explains that if climate change isn’t solved soon, that another man’s house will end up underwater. The second man, revealed to be selling the house, leans on the ‘for sale’ sign and explains that while that’s great and all, the beachfront property will still cost extra, much to the first man’s disappointment.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Climate change isn’t real because people still build buildings and they wouldn’t do that if climate change was real.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Yeah, StoneToss. People never build stuff in the wrong place or anything. Great argument, you fucking idiot. The worst part about this comic is that it would have been a great comic if it wasn’t for the fact StoneToss is an idiot and included his idiotic commentary via the description. Why make a good comic when you can make a shit comic, though? Oh! Is that the imaginary ding-ding of the toaster oven I hear?! StoneToss, I think your body pillow 14 year old waifu has more pizza rolls for you!!

Thanks for 70 episode of StoneToss Is An Idiot. I’ll see you red pills next time.

11 thoughts on “StoneToss: Episode 70 (Special Edition 5)

  1. I suspect that in the “Love Wins” comic, Rocks-for-brains is working from the view that allowing gay people to have families undermines “real” straight families. But the gay dude sees here that the “real” family is still doing well. OH NO, OUR EVIL GAY AGENDA ISN’T WORKING!! or something like that. Also, homophobes often say that gay relationships are all about sex, not love, so of course if love wins then the gay people lose for an idiot like Rocks-for-brains. Finally, I think Rocks-for-brains is making a “LOL gay people get sad looking at happy families ’cause their families all hate them for being sick perverts” “joke” here.

    Like

  2. damn, 70 whole episodes of mocking stonetoss for hating it whenever a black person marries a white person or making another “trans kill themselves” joke for a comic. absolutely hilarious each time, keep at it

    Liked by 1 person

  3. [breaks through the wall with an axe]

    Just one small problem!! Sell their houses to who, Stonetoss?? Fucking AQUAMAN????

    Like

  4. This set of Stonetoss’ comics always amaze me with how dense some of his logic is. Even though he’s completely wrong in almost everything he says, I can sometimes see the warped ideas that can be twisted into his worldview. Like, how do you turn a shooting into chauvinism? How do you take a stupid trans suicide joke and turn it into being about Trump? The one about guns is stupid but at least makes sense, but the nuclear family one makes no sense. Like, does Stonetoss think anyone who’s gay, even the most strawman of strawmen, is actively spending all of their time getting mad at a nuclear family who goes to church? And, the finale, what the hell is he even doing with the climate change one? Because people build homes on beaches, climate change is fake. THAT’S LITERALLY HIS ARGUMENT!

    Like

  5. Stonetoss is going to FREAK when he finds out who the only ones passing gun laws at a national level are.
    I mean, he’d also freak if he actually read the communist manifesto, but expecting stonetoss to actually read what his political opponents say is too much to ask, probably.

    Like

  6. I would have to say that Andrew Jackson, not Trump, has been the worst president in United States history. What with the whole ethnic cleansing thing.

    Like

    1. Yea, for as bad as trump is, he never committed genocide against a people who had willingly adapted to the American way of life to steal their land, or defanged the supreme court for decades to come.
      I’d Argue Trump’s forth, Behind Polt, who led us into a bloody war with mexico then died 3 months into his presidency, and Ragen, who got us into the “war on ni- I mean the Poor- I mean drugs” and was the stem of nearly every issue we have with police and government power today.
      Which is still pretty bad, mind you. Just not “worst ever” bad.

      Like

  7. To address the confusion regarding the line “what is it with women and body-counts”. The blog pondered what he meant by that, if women just kill a lot or have abortions or something. So, for clarity, a body-count refers to how many men a woman has slept with. A woman with a “high body-count” is a slut in these people’s world view.

    So that’s what stonetoss was trying to convey. He’s trying to use wordplay to call women sluts. Nothing clever, just a dig at women from a sad incel.

    Like

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