StoneToss: Episode 79

Sorry for another late upload. I’ve been catching up on a lot of life stuff after recovering from my poopy illness. Next episode is the big 80th edition, which I plan to have on time and sexy as ever. Thanks for reading.

Comic Name: Mind Virus
Description: It’s contagious.
Mouseover: Cognitohazard
Image Name: conspiracy-facemask-stonetoss-political-cartoon.png
Amogus: The logo on the sauce jar.
Originally Published: 5/13/2021

What The Comic Is: A man in a UFO shirt and tinfoil hat goes about his business at a grocery mart. He is given a skeptical glare by a man wearing a face mask along with an upper-body encompassing “filtration device” and thick rubber gloves, who is currently disinfecting his groceries.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Libs are hypocrites because they buy into ‘conspiracy theories’ all the time.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: This is not the first time StoneToss has made such an epically original observation by comparing ‘liberal hoaxes’ to UFO conspiracy theories (StoneToss is cripplingly unoriginal with nothing new to ever say and only has one fucking joke, goooooo fiiiiguuureeee). The obvious strawman is that StoneToss depicts the ‘covid conspiracy theorist’ as wearing a ridiculous respirator suit with gloves and disinfectant wipes. I would ask StoneToss to count the number of times he’s actually witnessed someone wearing a respirator unit in real life; or at least I would, if I were confident in StoneToss’ capability to actually count.

So he has to strawman something that doesn’t exist. Big deal, nothing new. But let’s discuss the other guy in the picture. StoneToss leans on the “UFO tinfoil hat” caricature whenever he wants to comment on a “hoax” that Leftists subscribe to (note, of course, that the supposed ‘Leftist hoaxes’ are never hoaxes). This isn’t because StoneToss is purely unoriginal, well okay that’s actually part of it too, but the other reason is that StoneToss is aware of the fact that his side (the Right) runs on nothing but conspiracy theories. He has to sit and watch as the only people he can realistically ally himself with (far-right idiots) are constantly bombarded for their faith in conspiracy and fringe beliefs. StoneToss’ own world view, that of a ruling Jewish New World Order elite, is based firmly in the realm of conspiracy theory. Is it any wonder why he lashes out at mask wearing like this? Attempting to depict a reality where the classic tinfoil hat is replaced with hazmat-style ventilation units and everyone lives in crazy virus world, don’t those stupid libs know that people die of car crashes all the time?!?!!?

The description, “cognitohazard” is a term used, by all things, the SCP Foundation. SCP is a loose community of people who share mostly community-active stories (meaning anyone, anywhere, is allowed to contribute into or freely utilize ideas and concepts created within the SCP story world) pertaining to the existence of spooky paranormal entities and artifacts. Specifically, in SCP lore, ‘cognitohazards’ are paranormal objects that are dangerous to one’s senses (usually sight). Why is StoneToss using the term here in this comic? Who the actual fuck knows?? Maybe he’s saying masks are hazardous to your ability to breath, or maybe he’s referring to the fact that wearing a mask ‘marks’ you so the (((ruling elite))) know who the sheep are or… well, fuck, I have no clue. StoneToss, thy idiot eludes me.

With this comic we see once again StoneToss’ sad little desire to see reality flipped around. Where it’s actually the Leftists who are constantly buying into radical conspiracies , where it’s StoneToss and the Right who are always seeing truth and aren’t consistently mocked and made fools of for their stupid conspiracy-mongering. StoneToss had to sit by and watch his side eat itself over QAnon, a phenomenon that exposed thousands of voices on the Right as being woefully idiotic and collectively embarrassing to their side as a whole. QAnon only further cemented the Right as firmly the side of wild conspiracy, and even now StoneToss must endure the constant talk of the “Secret Trump Government” and Trump’s “totally real orchestration to take back the presidency” and he must clearly be aware that his proximity to the far-Right is going to put him into direct association with these wild delusions for a long, long time coming. He can’t directly disavow his own side’s conspiracy theory behavior; it would alienate tens of thousands of his supporters. So what does the alt-Right loser do when he keeps losing in past, present and future? Make up lies. Lie about Leftists, lie about who was behind QAnon (it wasn’t the Right, it was the Jews!!). Disown everyone who isn’t as Nazi as you want them to be. Fuck the truth, it’s not comforting. Open your mouth and suck up all the creamy, nutty goodness of lies badly told and even more badly defended.

Comic Name: Halls of Debate
Description: Big Think
Mouseover: Dragon furs are the worst.
Image Name: furry-youtube-comic.png
Originally Published: 11/7/2019

What The Comic Is: In the times of ancient Greece, a man clasps famous philosopher Plato by the shoulder, excitedly musing on the effect that Plato’s university will have on discourse in the ages of time to come. In the second panel, a man sits at a computer watching a YouTube video discussing the morality of ephebophilia.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Discourse (education) is bad because people can argue for things like ephebophilia.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: First of all, StoneToss, it isn’t “Dragon fur“, it’s “Scaly“. Get it right, ya darn goof. Ya darn lil’ goof. Ya silly little goofy. Ya unironic fucking idiot. You absolute dumbfuck. You shitstain. You little cumwad, you. Fucking idiot.

Anyways. At first this comic might seem like just a joke about how people in the past dreamed of discourse in the future being built off of their teachings and methods, only that in reality we have people arguing for dumb shit like the moral nature of ephebophilia. StoneToss is notoriously anti-education, however, as many of his far-Right ilk so often are. Go figure the anti-education lunatic is feeling the butthurt all the way back to Plato.

Who’s the blue dragon in the second panel, anyways? That would be YouTuber and dragon fur sorry, I MEAN SCALY, Kothorix. Who is Kothorix? He’s a small-time YouTuber who occasionally put out videos that would sometimes break maybe 30-50k views but more normally stagnated at just a couple thousand. He topped out at just 49k subs on YouTube (a very, very common threshold for channels that YouTube pulls from their algorithm, but this is all another story for another blog). So basically all this to say that, no offense to the sexy blue dragon man, that Kothorix is a nobody. He doesn’t have a massive social media following or a huge millions-of-subs YouTube channel. His opinions and thoughts on things are all pretty standard and appeal to basic logic and a lot of Leftist principles, he likes RuneScape and Overwatch and he’s a furry and blah blah blah. It’s a safe bet to say you’ve never heard of the dude or his videos.

So why is StoneToss making a comic about a random nobodyfur? Well, for two reasons. Kothorix’s channel would receive the most attention whenever he published on of his “rant” videos, these could range from rants about video games to rants on social justice and other more weighted topics concerning society and what realistic dragon penises would look like. Some of these videos could be slightly divisive, especially for his normally very Left-leaning audience. His easily most controversial video was his infamous (or at least somewhat infamous, given he’s not a very big YouTuber) “In Defense of Pedophilia”. In this rather brazenly titled video, Kothorix gives a pretty basic “we shouldn’t ostracize people with pedophilic urges and rather should help them receive the assistance they need” hot take, followed by a couple of minutes of wondering why a 20 year old fucking a 16 year old is so weird. He pulled the video in the wake of controversy it kicked up, but if you want to see it, it’s been reuploaded by another person. While he does meander off a bit, his main point is that pedophilia (or the very act of someone finding themselves attracted to the body of a minor) is more like an uncontrollable mental illness that one should be able to safely seek aid for, which yes is a totally extreme Western society-toppling opinion, I know.

So what is ephebophilia, anyways? You hear the term sometimes used by those defending pedophilic or adult-child relationships. Pedophilia is the sexual interest and urge towards children (pre-pubescent, before puberty and often specifically for young, very undeveloped bodies), whereas the more tongue twisty ephebophilia is a sexual urge for someone who has just recently finished their puberty development (so think a 15 year old who has finished an early puberty and who is fully sexually developed, but not yet a grown adult). This obviously gets nuanced, as a grimy creep-type of guy may not give a shit how old a ‘hot girl’ is, he’ll fuck her whether she’s 15 or not, so this type of person wouldn’t be necessarily an ephebophile because he simply doesn’t care what the age is, his attraction has nothing to do with the status of his attraction’s age or development. The same way someone who wants to bone a 15 year old isn’t a pedophile, though we in society would often label an 18 year old who is in a relationship with a 15 year old as a “pedophile”. This is because ultimately, society doesn’t generally care about the nuance. A creepy guy who doesn’t care about age and just wants to bone is going to be seen as pedophiliac regardless of technical definitions or the nuance therein.

SO WHAT THE FUCK DOES ALL THIS HAVE TO DO WITH STONETOSS? Well, that’s easy: StoneToss is an idiot. Kothorix is a virtual nobody. He doesn’t speak for anyone, he’s a small YouTuber with a middle-of-the-road channel that failed to gain any greater notoriety or attention, he isn’t the cutting edge of liberal opinion. He’s a literal “Literally who?“. To the best of my findings, Kothorix never even made a video titled “ephebophilia, immoral?” or any video talking specifically about ephebophilia, he only made the ‘in defense of Pedophiles’, and he made the video way back in 2017: a good two years before StoneToss made this comic about him. So why in the world was he relevant enough to StoneToss to be featured in one of the latter’s comics? Because this is the best that StoneToss has got. Feast your eyes, one and all, on the twisted hell-scape future that the Left has orchestrated: A random nobody YouTuber dragon furSCALY making a video about pedophilia being something to fix rather than ostracize. What has education done???

StoneToss: the left are all pedo cucks!!! they want to fuck kids!!!! look here’s a video from two years ago from a random small youtube channel where the furry host is left-leaning on several key topics!!!! this proves it, the west was destroyed by school!!!!!!!!

Most Rightists don’t have this kind of energy. They just claim Democrats are all secret globalist pedophiles that own a secret Illuminati child sex ring, then they shit their pants and call it a day. StoneToss, as we discussed in the first comic, is sadly aware of how entrenched in wild, baseless conspiracy theory his side of the camp is. This is like his desperate attempt to snoop into “the wild Left” and pull out damning evidence of what pedophilia-endorsing Leftist rhetoric looks like. It must get exhausting, chasing so desperately after the bizarre and ever-more-wild claims of his fellow Righties, trying to make them look in some way legitimate (whether this is pinning QAnon as “it was a Jewish-lead wild goose chase” or “look, a random nobody on YouTube thinks we shouldn’t kill pedophiles”). It’s like the Right, as a whole entity, is some kind of crumbling dam that can’t hold back the tidal wave of horseshit and StoneToss is frantically plugging the holes up with his fingers. Even as the goopy brown waters run over his face and coat his entire weakling body, he swallows down his pride and grins, because nothing could possibly be better than owning the libs.