Ben Garrison: Episode 4

Comic Name: FILL ‘ER UP?

Yes, I too am such an AMERICAN PATRIOT that my license plate reads “USA1”. To be fair, I guess, “USA1” is a not completely uncommon vanity/novelty plate number (albeit an incredibly tacky one), but when you make a comic where the tacky USA1 license plate is by far the least ridiculous thing depicted, maybe you have a bigger god damn problem than stupid license plate numbers.

So, the Trump and Biden gas pumps seem to have both teeth and eyes (I mean, Trump’s head is seemingly looking at the man, alluding to functioning eyes), which leads me to believe they are both, on some level of their physiology and anatomy, biological. Do they contain other organs, such as hearts or intestines? Do they eat? They have mouths and teeth. Where does the matter they ingest lead to? Is it sort of like the titans from the anime Attack on Titan, where it’s an empty pit that devoured flesh simply collects in? The Joe Biden monolith seems capable of manipulating his gas pump as a type of tail or appendage, does he use it to bring food to himself or do they rely on dedicated caretakers to bring their meals to them?

Actually, come to think of it, what exactly is the function of the gas pumps?? They both emit liquid (we can see a suspiciously clear, pre-cum looking dribble at the tip of Joe’s nozzle). A-are the gas pumps their penises?? Is Ben Garrison making commentary that Trump’s pee is better than Biden’s pee? Is that what the argument is really about? Should we begin vetting our political leaders by the measurable qualities of their piss? Is this the future Ben Garrison wants?? BEN YOU PISS-DERANGED MADMAN, ANSWER THE GOD DAMNED QUESTION.

If we subscribe to the working theory that the gas pumps are indeed reproductive organs and that America fills its cars up with sperm, then does this implicate the second panel as being some kind of tentacle hentai? Yes. Yes it does. Ben Garrison draws gay tentacle hentai.

“YES, FLESH-MORTAL”, the golden Trump idol boomed, “SERVICE YOUR LORD’S LENGTHY COCK.”
The man flashed a nervous open-tooth smile and a thumbs up as he continued jerking the tip off. Would he be spared in return for his service? He felt the cold, slick tube of the Biden idol slither and tighten around his throat. He couldn’t even scream before its noose-like grip strangled him. Within his last moments of consciousness he became sickeningly aware that the answer, as it was for all before him and would surely be for all after, was no. Fill ‘er up, indeed.