StoneToss: Episode 95

I tried really hard to find free time to prepare this week’s post. I’m struggling a bit at the moment with everything in my life being busy, and I think for now I may be moving posts to Sunday. I stayed up extra late to get this bitch out this week, just so I can show you all how much daddy loves you. I sometimes remember to Tweet blog news and updates on my Twitter. I sometimes take other people’s money when they subscribe to my Patreon.

...and Bernie still lost. AHAHAHAHA

Comic Name: Don Queerxote
Description: When all you have is a hammer (and sickle), everything looks like a nail.
Mouseover: …and Bernie still lost. AHAHAHAHA
Image Name: don-quixote-political-cartoon.png
Originally Published: 4/14/2020

What The Comic Is: A man in suit of armor laments, pondering what good a hero is without a villain. Suddenly seeing a windmill, the man charges, the blades of the windmill shown to resemble a Nazi swastika.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: People only THINK Nazis exist, because they’re actively looking for a villain.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Don Quixote is an amusing story about an insane man. StoneToss is a shitty comic, drawn by an insane man. This similarity doesn’t mean anything, I just wanted to point it out. In the tale of Don Quixote, titular character Don Quixote, at one point, charges at a bunch of windmills, as he believes them to be evil giants. Of course, Quixote is just a nutcase and what he’s seeing aren’t really giant monsters, they’re just some windmills. Here is StoneToss’ stupid comparison: that “queers” (i.e., people who aren’t StoneToss’ approved brand of bigot) are Don Quixote-esque in their pursuit to find Nazis. Proud Boys preaching for white supremacy? Rioters carrying torches and chanting that Jews will not replace them? StoneToss making comics about a Jewish conspiracy to replace white people with black people? ARE YOU STUPID????? None of those are Nazis!!!!!!!!!!! The Nazi party doesn’t exist anymore, which means no one can possibly be likened to them. Don’t be so stupid!

But the comic goes further than that, as. StoneToss accuses his detractors of being bad faith actors entirely. That Antifa isn’t standing for any moral reason, but exists simply so that deranged loonies with hero complexes can “have their villain to battle”. Fun theory, I guess, except just like every other time StoneToss has attempted to accuse Antifa of over zealously labeling everyone as a Nazi, it doesn’t hold any water when subjected to reality.

If you march down the street chanting that Jews will not replace you, people will label you a Nazi. If you make comics on the internet about how Jews and black people are ruining the USA, people are going to call you a Nazi. If you promote feelings of transforming the USA into an ethnostate where women have less rights than men, people are going to label you a Nazi. And guess what? It doesn’t fucking matter if the Nazi party isn’t around anymore, and it doesn’t matter if you (a fascist dumbfuck) think the label is an exaggeration. If you act like the Nazis acted, people are going to call you a Nazi. Fucking bizarre, I know.

The description references the quote “When all you have is a hammer, everything look like a nail“, or that someone with a limited understanding of something (or limited resources or tools) will feel the urge to apply their limited scope to everything. An over eagerness to use what they’ve got, basically. In this case, StoneToss is trying to assert that when all you have is Communism, everything looks like Nazism. What the fuck does that mean? I do not know.

...these (wrist) wounds will not heeeaaaaaallll...

Comic Name: Craaawling In My Sin
Description: Using the “wrong” pronouns is a revolutionary act.
Mouseover: …these (wrist) wounds will not heeeaaaaaalll…
Image Name: christian-and-satanist-political-cartoon.png
Originally Published: 4/16/2020

What The Comic Is: A Satanist with a horrible skull deformity smugly declares his affinity for Satan and chaos, wanting affirmation of his edginess. A man with a proper haircut and clothes, with a bible tucked under his arm, responds that he prefers God and orderliness. The Satanist, eyes wide with horror, runs away crying that the the man is going to kill everyone.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Oh no, Christians are oppressed and under attack 😦

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: First of all, “Orderliness?” Who the fuck is this guy on the bench? Ned Flanders? If there was somehow ANY doubt of StoneToss’ IRL religiousness, for fuck’s sake let this slip of obscure biblical language put it to rest. But alright, let’s get to the point of this comic. It’s obviously StoneToss whining about the growing suspicion and anxiety concerning religious (Christian) individuals and their penchant for committing violent crimes. For a very long time in the USA it was the other way around: It was always “The Satanists” who were being tossed around in the news; deranged killers and psychopaths with their ‘devil worshipping’. It’s a new phenomenon for Christians to finally be under the limelight, with several mass shooters and professed neo-Nazis committing or promoting violence in the name of Christianity.

What does StoneToss do when religious fruitcakes commit violence? Does he disavow their actions, assert that he doesn’t stand with them? Does he distance himself from such extremists? No, of course not. He develops a victim complex and pisses his pants. Quick, depict a world where a nice white Christian man is publicly feared. Oh no, Christians are so oppressed can’t you see??

This is another one of those StoneToss comics that are unironically true, just not in the way StoneToss intended. Yes, due to the actions of violent Christians it’s totally plausible to perhaps believe a Christian might kill you! Oh, what’s that? StoneToss doesn’t like being the victim of stereotyping?? It makes him feel upset and unfairly attacked??? Huh, funny… One would think that given how readily and happily StoneToss attacks others for stereotypes or other imagined justifications that he would have slightly thicker skin when the same happens to his camp, but alas, one would be vastly overestimating the basic maturity that StoneToss possesses.

When some wackjob ‘Satanist’ commits a crime, the media is all over it. Hyping it up that an “alleged Satan worshipper” committed a crime, as if ‘Satan worshipping’ is a noteworthy attribute. When a religious fruitcake commits a crime, even for a reason related very much to their religious belief, you never hear news anchors and talking heads blab about “ALLEGED GOD WORSHIPPER, SUPPOSED CATHOLIC”. But yes, StoneToss, please go on about the poor victimized Christians you goddamned tool.

The comic’s title is truly a look into StoneToss’ religious fruitcakery: an unironic jab at Satanists for being sinful. Most people don’t really care about someone being a Satanist or something dopey like that, but StoneToss and his fellow far-right Christians really, really, really unironically care a lot about Satanists. Go to many right-leaning communities and you’ll see this deranged and very genuine anger for ‘Satanists’, which of course the fruitcakes will randomly claim any given Democratic politician is an adherent of.