StoneToss: Episode 79

Sorry for another late upload. I’ve been catching up on a lot of life stuff after recovering from my poopy illness. Next episode is the big 80th edition, which I plan to have on time and sexy as ever. Thanks for reading.


Comic Name: Mind Virus
Description: It’s contagious.
Mouseover: Cognitohazard
Image Name: conspiracy-facemask-stonetoss-political-cartoon.png
Amogus: The logo on the sauce jar.
Originally Published: 5/13/2021

What The Comic Is: A man in a UFO shirt and tinfoil hat goes about his business at a grocery mart. He is given a skeptical glare by a man wearing a face mask along with an upper-body encompassing “filtration device” and thick rubber gloves, who is currently disinfecting his groceries.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Libs are hypocrites because they buy into ‘conspiracy theories’ all the time.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: This is not the first time StoneToss has made such an epically original observation by comparing ‘liberal hoaxes’ to UFO conspiracy theories (StoneToss is cripplingly unoriginal with nothing new to ever say and only has one fucking joke, goooooo fiiiiguuureeee). The obvious strawman is that StoneToss depicts the ‘covid conspiracy theorist’ as wearing a ridiculous respirator suit with gloves and disinfectant wipes. I would ask StoneToss to count the number of times he’s actually witnessed someone wearing a respirator unit in real life; or at least I would, if I were confident in StoneToss’ capability to actually count.

So he has to strawman something that doesn’t exist. Big deal, nothing new. But let’s discuss the other guy in the picture. StoneToss leans on the “UFO tinfoil hat” caricature whenever he wants to comment on a “hoax” that Leftists subscribe to (note, of course, that the supposed ‘Leftist hoaxes’ are never hoaxes). This isn’t because StoneToss is purely unoriginal, well okay that’s actually part of it too, but the other reason is that StoneToss is aware of the fact that his side (the Right) runs on nothing but conspiracy theories. He has to sit and watch as the only people he can realistically ally himself with (far-right idiots) are constantly bombarded for their faith in conspiracy and fringe beliefs. StoneToss’ own world view, that of a ruling Jewish New World Order elite, is based firmly in the realm of conspiracy theory. Is it any wonder why he lashes out at mask wearing like this? Attempting to depict a reality where the classic tinfoil hat is replaced with hazmat-style ventilation units and everyone lives in crazy virus world, don’t those stupid libs know that people die of car crashes all the time?!?!!?

The description, “cognitohazard” is a term used, by all things, the SCP Foundation. SCP is a loose community of people who share mostly community-active stories (meaning anyone, anywhere, is allowed to contribute into or freely utilize ideas and concepts created within the SCP story world) pertaining to the existence of spooky paranormal entities and artifacts. Specifically, in SCP lore, ‘cognitohazards’ are paranormal objects that are dangerous to one’s senses (usually sight). Why is StoneToss using the term here in this comic? Who the actual fuck knows?? Maybe he’s saying masks are hazardous to your ability to breath, or maybe he’s referring to the fact that wearing a mask ‘marks’ you so the (((ruling elite))) know who the sheep are or… well, fuck, I have no clue. StoneToss, thy idiot eludes me.

With this comic we see once again StoneToss’ sad little desire to see reality flipped around. Where it’s actually the Leftists who are constantly buying into radical conspiracies , where it’s StoneToss and the Right who are always seeing truth and aren’t consistently mocked and made fools of for their stupid conspiracy-mongering. StoneToss had to sit by and watch his side eat itself over QAnon, a phenomenon that exposed thousands of voices on the Right as being woefully idiotic and collectively embarrassing to their side as a whole. QAnon only further cemented the Right as firmly the side of wild conspiracy, and even now StoneToss must endure the constant talk of the “Secret Trump Government” and Trump’s “totally real orchestration to take back the presidency” and he must clearly be aware that his proximity to the far-Right is going to put him into direct association with these wild delusions for a long, long time coming. He can’t directly disavow his own side’s conspiracy theory behavior; it would alienate tens of thousands of his supporters. So what does the alt-Right loser do when he keeps losing in past, present and future? Make up lies. Lie about Leftists, lie about who was behind QAnon (it wasn’t the Right, it was the Jews!!). Disown everyone who isn’t as Nazi as you want them to be. Fuck the truth, it’s not comforting. Open your mouth and suck up all the creamy, nutty goodness of lies badly told and even more badly defended.

Dragon furs are the worst.

Comic Name: Halls of Debate
Description: Big Think
Mouseover: Dragon furs are the worst.
Image Name: furry-youtube-comic.png
Originally Published: 11/7/2019

What The Comic Is: In the times of ancient Greece, a man clasps famous philosopher Plato by the shoulder, excitedly musing on the effect that Plato’s university will have on discourse in the ages of time to come. In the second panel, a man sits at a computer watching a YouTube video discussing the morality of ephebophilia.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Discourse (education) is bad because people can argue for things like ephebophilia.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: First of all, StoneToss, it isn’t “Dragon fur“, it’s “Scaly“. Get it right, ya darn goof. Ya darn lil’ goof. Ya silly little goofy. Ya unironic fucking idiot. You absolute dumbfuck. You shitstain. You little cumwad, you. Fucking idiot.

Anyways. At first this comic might seem like just a joke about how people in the past dreamed of discourse in the future being built off of their teachings and methods, only that in reality we have people arguing for dumb shit like the moral nature of ephebophilia. StoneToss is notoriously anti-education, however, as many of his far-Right ilk so often are. Go figure the anti-education lunatic is feeling the butthurt all the way back to Plato.

Who’s the blue dragon in the second panel, anyways? That would be YouTuber and dragon fur sorry, I MEAN SCALY, Kothorix. Who is Kothorix? He’s a small-time YouTuber who occasionally put out videos that would sometimes break maybe 30-50k views but more normally stagnated at just a couple thousand. He topped out at just 49k subs on YouTube (a very, very common threshold for channels that YouTube pulls from their algorithm, but this is all another story for another blog). So basically all this to say that, no offense to the sexy blue dragon man, that Kothorix is a nobody. He doesn’t have a massive social media following or a huge millions-of-subs YouTube channel. His opinions and thoughts on things are all pretty standard and appeal to basic logic and a lot of Leftist principles, he likes RuneScape and Overwatch and he’s a furry and blah blah blah. It’s a safe bet to say you’ve never heard of the dude or his videos.

So why is StoneToss making a comic about a random nobodyfur? Well, for two reasons. Kothorix’s channel would receive the most attention whenever he published on of his “rant” videos, these could range from rants about video games to rants on social justice and other more weighted topics concerning society and what realistic dragon penises would look like. Some of these videos could be slightly divisive, especially for his normally very Left-leaning audience. His easily most controversial video was his infamous (or at least somewhat infamous, given he’s not a very big YouTuber) “In Defense of Pedophilia”. In this rather brazenly titled video, Kothorix gives a pretty basic “we shouldn’t ostracize people with pedophilic urges and rather should help them receive the assistance they need” hot take, followed by a couple of minutes of wondering why a 20 year old fucking a 16 year old is so weird. He pulled the video in the wake of controversy it kicked up, but if you want to see it, it’s been reuploaded by another person. While he does meander off a bit, his main point is that pedophilia (or the very act of someone finding themselves attracted to the body of a minor) is more like an uncontrollable mental illness that one should be able to safely seek aid for, which yes is a totally extreme Western society-toppling opinion, I know.

So what is ephebophilia, anyways? You hear the term sometimes used by those defending pedophilic or adult-child relationships. Pedophilia is the sexual interest and urge towards children (pre-pubescent, before puberty and often specifically for young, very undeveloped bodies), whereas the more tongue twisty ephebophilia is a sexual urge for someone who has just recently finished their puberty development (so think a 15 year old who has finished an early puberty and who is fully sexually developed, but not yet a grown adult). This obviously gets nuanced, as a grimy creep-type of guy may not give a shit how old a ‘hot girl’ is, he’ll fuck her whether she’s 15 or not, so this type of person wouldn’t be necessarily an ephebophile because he simply doesn’t care what the age is, his attraction has nothing to do with the status of his attraction’s age or development. The same way someone who wants to bone a 15 year old isn’t a pedophile, though we in society would often label an 18 year old who is in a relationship with a 15 year old as a “pedophile”. This is because ultimately, society doesn’t generally care about the nuance. A creepy guy who doesn’t care about age and just wants to bone is going to be seen as pedophiliac regardless of technical definitions or the nuance therein.

SO WHAT THE FUCK DOES ALL THIS HAVE TO DO WITH STONETOSS? Well, that’s easy: StoneToss is an idiot. Kothorix is a virtual nobody. He doesn’t speak for anyone, he’s a small YouTuber with a middle-of-the-road channel that failed to gain any greater notoriety or attention, he isn’t the cutting edge of liberal opinion. He’s a literal “Literally who?“. To the best of my findings, Kothorix never even made a video titled “ephebophilia, immoral?” or any video talking specifically about ephebophilia, he only made the ‘in defense of Pedophiles’, and he made the video way back in 2017: a good two years before StoneToss made this comic about him. So why in the world was he relevant enough to StoneToss to be featured in one of the latter’s comics? Because this is the best that StoneToss has got. Feast your eyes, one and all, on the twisted hell-scape future that the Left has orchestrated: A random nobody YouTuber dragon furSCALY making a video about pedophilia being something to fix rather than ostracize. What has education done???

StoneToss: the left are all pedo cucks!!! they want to fuck kids!!!! look here’s a video from two years ago from a random small youtube channel where the furry host is left-leaning on several key topics!!!! this proves it, the west was destroyed by school!!!!!!!!

Most Rightists don’t have this kind of energy. They just claim Democrats are all secret globalist pedophiles that own a secret Illuminati child sex ring, then they shit their pants and call it a day. StoneToss, as we discussed in the first comic, is sadly aware of how entrenched in wild, baseless conspiracy theory his side of the camp is. This is like his desperate attempt to snoop into “the wild Left” and pull out damning evidence of what pedophilia-endorsing Leftist rhetoric looks like. It must get exhausting, chasing so desperately after the bizarre and ever-more-wild claims of his fellow Righties, trying to make them look in some way legitimate (whether this is pinning QAnon as “it was a Jewish-lead wild goose chase” or “look, a random nobody on YouTube thinks we shouldn’t kill pedophiles”). It’s like the Right, as a whole entity, is some kind of crumbling dam that can’t hold back the tidal wave of horseshit and StoneToss is frantically plugging the holes up with his fingers. Even as the goopy brown waters run over his face and coat his entire weakling body, he swallows down his pride and grins, because nothing could possibly be better than owning the libs.

StoneToss: Episode 75

Apologies for the mini-hiatus; my girlfriend surprised me with a birthday vacation and I didn’t get a chance to prepare any posts. Do not worry! For her duplicity in this, she paid with her life. No one comes between me and my one true love: all of you. Mwah mwah. Yes, daddy loves you. Mmm, you dirty little sluts.

Epic fail

Comic Name: Lesson Unlearned
Description: Held back a (pay) grade.
Mouseover: Epic fail
Image Name: teacher-pay-stonetoss-political-cartoon.png
Amogus: First panel, right side. On the chalkboard.
Originally Published: 4/29/2021

What The Comic Is: A teacher hands her student back his test, marked with an F. She warns him that he won’t be able to get a good paying job if he fails. In the next panel, a politician brings up the subject of fixing failing schools, asking the assembly of people for ideas. The same teacher stands in front of a mic and suggests paying teachers more money.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Teachers are failures and that’s why they don’t make lots of money, ergo the profession of teaching is bad. Conversely, they are entitled hypocrites for wanting more money.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Big surprise, the Nazi loser is being anti-education again. Shocker, I know. Somehow StoneToss has managed to insulate himself so well against the harsh mistress of reality that he feels confident enough to make statements like this without ever worrying about the obvious reaction most people will have to it. I mean, StoneToss is a fucking coward. He’ll never actually go to bat and defend his stances, he’ll just make stupid passive aggressive strawman comics and never read Twitter comments. This complete self-isolation from reality is about the only way someone can reasonably be openly opposed to something as basic and seemingly neutral as education of children. StoneToss does not like to be called a Nazi (he only likes to not-so-subtly hint at being one), and yet he’s probably aware of just what a corner you paint yourself into the second you start complaining about how education is bad. It’s pretty fucking hard to not look blatantly Nazi-esque when you begin crusading against education, after all. StoneToss doesn’t have the balls to ever open this can of worms, so he chooses instead to only poke and jab at it here and there.

So what about this shit take in specific? Well, the obvious commentary is that the teacher is telling the student to “not fail” in order to get a good paying job, though hypocritically demands more money herself. If StoneToss was smart (he’s not), then he’d have made a connection that the teacher’s lack of pay is directly linked to her “failure” to adequately teach/inspire her student to pass. This would still be very idiotic, though, because teachers are not usually paid based on their performance and even the hardest working teachers with the most passing students are still as underpaid as the lazy ones who don’t care about their student’s progress. But who needs reality when you can strawman?! Who needs intelligence and conviction to explain and defend your beliefs when you can hide in your little walled garden bitchboy web comic?

Teachers also typically ask for more funding to their schools rather than straight-up more pay. For as hard as many of the USA’s teachers work, they certainly need and deserve pay raises, but they also need lots of other things. Many school districts just do not give their schools enough money to get the basic tools they need, and this results in lots of teachers paying out of pocket for things like chalk or other specialized learning tools, or in extreme cases even relying on crowdfunding charity in order to buy fucking school desks for their students. No one becomes a teacher “for the pay”, they do it because they either have a passion to teach or because they want to coach a sport but have to host a half-assed English class on the side.

Anti-education is a strong keystone of fascism and tyrannical government control. StoneToss, being an idiot and a coward, has no idea what the fuck he stands for because he doesn’t stand for anything. He wants the USA to be a self-sustaining anti-immigrant ethnostate that dominates the world in economy, science, culture, etc. However, on the same hand, StoneToss also hates education despite the fact that society needs to educate its people in order to ever achieve any of the things StoneToss wants. So what does he want, exactly? Some wishful thinking Mary Sue bullshit world where failcuck libtard teachers and colleges… don’t exist? Or get replaced by “based” curriculums? And the USA ejects all immigrants and prospers by itself? Peak clown world.


Comic Name: Pruning
Description: Comrades
Mouseover: Lumpenproles.
Image Name: capitalism-and-fascism-comic.png
Originally Published: 10/17/2019

What The Comic Is: A man wearing a hammer and sickle shirt states that fascism is capitalism in decay. He then spots a groundskeeper who is wearing a MAGA hat. With a devious look on his face, the man calls “capitalism inc.” to report that their groundskeeper is a fascist.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Trying to out people for bigotry to their employers is indirectly supporting capitalism, despite the fact many of those “doxxing fascists” are opposed to capitalism.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: You know you have a very clear, easy to understand point when you have to literally call your imaginary company “CAPITALISM INC”. Truly, the sign of great nuance and writing is when you have to practically explain your own stupid fucking joke. Fucking idiot. Anyways, the ‘message’ here is that the communism man is using capitalism (the right to freely employ/fire as part of the free market) to try and get the MAGA hat man fired. So even if CoMmIe LiBeRaLs hate capitalism, they’re still using capitalism to get people fired. What does this mean? Who in the fuck knows. These are always the worst StoneToss comics to have to discuss, because how do you tear someone down when they themselves don’t even know what the fuck they’re trying to say? At best this is some stupid attempt at a commentary that librulz only like capitalism when it favors them (i.e., when they try to dox a bigot and get them fired), with a sprinkling of “liberals dumb” because the communism shirt guy thinks a man with a MAGA hat is automatically a fascist. Giving the man a devious look on his face, as if he’s aware he’s up to no good, is at least a halfway good(?) attempt at strawmanning the opposition as malicious trolls who weaponize the very economic structure they claim to oppose, so I guess he at least gets some points for trying.

It should be noted that obviously getting someone fired for being a shithead xenophobic bigot (or rather, simply making their personal statements known to an employer, who ultimately decides to let the individual go or not) and disdain for late stage capitalism are… not mutually exclusive in the slightest. You can be opposed to rampant capitalism and the rich while also bringing someone’s bigotry to light with the intention their employer will let them go. Anything else this comic is trying to say is too vague and senseless for anyone who isn’t StoneToss himself to understand, if indeed even StoneToss knows what the fuck he’s saying.

A “Lumpenprole” is a member of the Lumpenproletariat, or the less commonly known branch of society as described by Marxist theory. The much more oft-described proletariat caste are the wage workers who do not have capital or property to live off of and therefore have to work for a living (selling their labor to survive). The lumpenproletariat, then, are beneath that caste and are basically the super unskilled workers/criminals/StoneToss. The description and mouse over text are therefore two parts of the same joke: That socialists/communists/liberals/anyone else StoneToss doesn’t like will think of themselves as “comrades” (strong strawmanning here, of course), as if to style themselves as hard-fighting workers rising up against their rich masters; though in reality communists are all lazy and hate work and therefore don’t have jobs and are actually lumpenproles, unemployed and at the bottom of the Marxist wrung (Marx, Lenin and Trotsky all viewed the lumpenproles as essentially worthless to the cause of communism; whether StoneToss is educated enough to realize that this means he’s asserting Marx and Lenin would, funnily enough, therefore disown the strawmanned lazy communists is up for debate).

Hello, StoneToss? Did you know you’re an idiot? Nah, only kidding. We both know I don’t have to ask!

StoneToss: Episode 63

I wonder if they'll reassign my FBI observer now.

Comic Name: The Sanguineous Slope
Description: Antifa seeks to control your behavior through violent terror, they are terrorists.
Oh, and now they’re killing people.
Mouseover: I wonder if they’ll reassign my FBI observer now.
Image Name: antifa-shooting-comic.png
Originally Published: 8/7/2019

What The Comic Is: A member of Antifa defends their actions by explaining that they only punch Nazis, though in the background one of his fellow Antifa pajama men is punching a man in a MAGA hat and Gadsden snake shirt. The Antifa man tries to rectify his statement, claiming that they aren’t terrorists. In the background, however, their fellow pajama man proclaims “Kill Fascists!”. The Antifa man, now sweating and visible nervous, attempts to claim they haven’t actually killed anyone, though his comrade is now firing a gun wildly in the background.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: A single shooting perpetuated by a guy who was loosely far-left and Antifa supporting = Antifa is killing people to control their actions.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: If you click the link to the (awfully designed and heavily right-biased shitsite) you can get a first hand media report on the 2019 Dayton shooting. I call it a “media report”, but in reality it’s more of an up-jumped Facebook post or something, it barely contains any information. It doesn’t even include the date that the incident took place, for fuck’s sake. I don’t know what I expected from a article that is titled “CONFIRMED: DEMOCRAT DAYTON SHOOTER WAS PART OF ANTIFA”, with a top banner that isn’t even properly attached to the top of the webpage and rather just covers the fucking headline, but whatever. Nothing says “News you can trust” quite like the web design of a middle school student and the headline of a boomer with a middle schooler’s education.

So, the 2019 shooting in Dayton Ohio was yet another in a long, long, long list of mass shootings that has been wrought in the USA. The shooter was a mal-adjusted 24 year old with a somewhat troubled past. He also happened to casually support Antifa, Bernie Sanders and Black Lives Matter. He once attended an armed protest to counter the Ku Klux Klan (clearly only something that the most deranged of freedom haters would ever do). So why did he commit the shooting, killing nine people that included his sister? No one really knows. He was a very weird and troubled person, but it’s glaringly apparent that he committed the shooting for reasons that had absolutely nothing to fucking do with Antifa. He killed his sister and random people at a random venue. Funny enough, sometimes people do terrible things for apolitical reasons. But I get it, StoneToss. When your side is full of angry losers (like you!) who can’t get a grip on their spiraling lives so they radicalize through far-right propaganda to the point they’re committing one mass shooting after another, it really does turn into a sort of “If All You Have Is a Hammer” thing. Oh, a mass shooting happened and the perpetrator happened to be Left-leaning? Oh thank god! We can claim Antifa is murdering people now! That’s how it works, right?

The Dayton shooter’s affiliation to Antifa and protesting the KKK were happenstance and had nothing to do with the shooting. He did not commit the shooting as a member of Antifa. He did not leave a detailed manifesto behind that documented the reasons he was committing his crime (you know, that thing that the dozen or so far-righter shooters always do?). So, unfortunately, this shitty comic (as is so often the case with StoneToss) is completely removed from reality. Reality being a place where StoneToss is unable to exist and function, so hence his clown world safe space built out of bricks of shit/cum and dishonesty/cum. StoneToss loves cum. Almost as much as he loves being a dishonest fuckwit with nothing helpful to ever say.

The comic’s title a play on the term “Slippery Slope”, though it’s suggesting the slope is slippery because of blood (Sanguine being synonymous with blood). The only thing slippery is StoneToss’s grasp on a decent argument, though.

What a Shell out $

Comic Name: Fined Art
Description: To be honest, it’d be a fair trade.
Mouseover: What a Shell out $
Image Name: art-student-college-debt-comic.png
Originally Published: 8/12/2019

What The Comic Is: A student approaches the “Tuition Due” desk of the prestigiously named university of “Art School”. The student looks at his bill (which appears to be a charge of no monetary value, rather it is just a giant red dollar sign, thus rendering it useless as a bill of tender). He asks the woman at the desk if he can pay for the tuition in exposure.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: If you hate people who ask to pay for art in exposure, it’s hypocritical to not want to pay a student loan.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: At first you might think this is some kind of woke comic about predatory higher education in America, but nah. We know the real reason StoneToss hates college is because 1.) He probably never got the job he wanted from going to it and 2.) He thinks it’s where people get brainwashed into becoming (((Marxist puppets))). We also know StoneToss hates anyone who isn’t a far-right bigot, and who else is further from that than the people who attend college for an art degree? So StoneToss simultaneously mocks art degrees (with the description suggesting exposure would be a fair trade for an art degree) while also deriding a, as usual, nonexistent hypocrisy that doesn’t actually exist.

People don’t like being asked if they can be paid in exposure. It’s just common knowledge. People also get snookered into tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt right out of high school in order to attend college on the vague expectation it’s what they need to do in order to get a job. The USA has a massive, crippling and long-term destructive issue with college. StoneToss is taking up a kind of defense for college, trying to frame the pursuit of college loan forgiveness as “the same thing as people asking to pay for art with exposure”.

This is incredibly stupid and petty and the only thing that stops this comic from being akin to some r/boomerhumor garbage is that StoneToss has exposed himself enough to get at least halfway competent with art. So there you go, StoneToss. You are an unfunny boomer in literally every way except art style. Most people, myself included, find that to be pretty fucking sad and pathetic, but hey, don’t let us diminish your accomplishment! You’re so brave. No matter how many shitty comics you make, you just keep making them. It’s inspirational. Really. A lesser man would’ve have given up years ago, but not you, you anti-reality puddle of shit.

StoneToss: Episode 30 (Special Edition 1)

Warning: This is an extra long post. tl;dr: thanks for reading and helping the blog grow, I have plans to update and expand it in the near future so ~stay tuned~

First of all, thanks to everyone for helping my blog reach 100k views. It’s still going stronger&longer every day, even as we reach a whopping thirty posts on StoneToss. Even at the rate I’m going, there’s still so many stupid fucking StoneToss comics that need to be covered. But I’m dedicated to doing it, if you’re dedicated to reading it. Together we can enjoy the raw stupidity that is StoneToss for months, years, decades(?) to come.

As part of the celebration in hitting 100k and also to commemorate the 30th post (which just so happens to coincide with the 100k views) I am planning several pretty major updates to this blog. I started writing this thing a little over a year ago, in early October 2019. It’s crazy to think it was a whole year ago, but here we are. Originally I posted a chunk of comics all at once, though the attention I got was pretty sparse. I actually kind of abandoned the blog for many, many months as I got busy with IRL bullshit. The whole Covid thing happened, though, and I was unemployed for awhile making phat stackz from unemployment. During this time I decided to pick up this blog again, and the reception I got upon returning to it was far more attention from readers. In just five months the blog shot up in daily traffic and it’s encouraged me to get more serious about what this blog is.

I’ve recently begun doing two comics each post in an effort to burn through the excessive catalogue of StoneToss’ work. More recently I’ve settled on a scheduled format for updates. I have more big announcements planned for the immediate future, so keep an eye on this stupid little blog of mine.
I want to thank the subreddits that allow me to post my work on them. They’ve been crucial to getting people to notice what I’m doing. I also want to thank all of the people who read my blog and enjoy what I am doing. I want to thank people who leave stupid comments about what a drone I am or how my blog sucks, your petulant trolling adds much needed flavor to my work. Foremost, however, I want to thank StoneToss, for who’s comics this blog would not exist without. Just as a great artist needs a muse, so to do I need a whiny, bigoted man child from which to craft the art of my trade. Thank you all. 
Please, subject yourselves to an XXXtra long installment of StoneToss Is An Idiot.

Comic Name: Star Mangled Banner
Description: Inspired by the latest push for the USA to intervene in the middle east.
Mouseover: No more wars for Israel.
Image Name: pledge-of-allegiance-comic.png
Originally Published: 4/10/2018

What The Comic Is: A boy sits at a school desk, one of his legs mangled badly and bent at a highly unnatural angle. The intercom tells the students to prepare for the pledge of allegiance, to which the student scoffs. His teacher lambasts him for his attitude, recounting the deaths of friends who died while protecting the flag. The kid asks Mr. Jones if he’s lost his glasses again, and the last panel shows Mr. Jones confused as Israel’s flag flies behind him in the classroom. 

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Jews Will Not Replace Us.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: The country of Israel defines itself as Jewish. The historical holy land of Jews, Christians and Muslims, it contains the holy city of Jerusalem. How Jewish is Israel? It puts the Star of David, primary symbol of modern Judaism, on its flag. You could say that the country Israeli Jewish, ahahaHAHAHAHAH.

Conservatives don’t generally promote the USA’s involvement in foreign affairs, unless a Republican President promises weapons of the new, clear variety. And if there’s a bunch of oil that wealthy politicians can get their fingers into. Maybe StoneToss was critical of the USA’s past involvement in the middle east, or maybe he was alright with it because we were invading countries full of oil instead of ones just full of (((other stuff))). Anyways, point being is that in 2017, US President Donald Trump came out with his announcement that the USA would begin to recognize the city of Jerusalem as being Israel’s capital. Why this is important is a very complex issue that we won’t really get into here, as there’s no good way to explain it without an essay on the history of the city, the country and the people living in it. The best summary I could give you is that Jerusalem is a city roughly divided into an east half and a west half (think like east and west Germany, complete with a separating the two). Israel claims to own both halves while Palestine claims the eastern half. The status of what the fuck Palestine even is, as a government entity and which countries recognize its status, is also up for debate. Anyways, the city is divided into two with disputed borders and government rule. Trump’s move to recognize Jerusalem as Israel’s capital was then to recognize the entire city as being under Israel’s control; a highly criticized political move by many other governments. 

SoooOOOooo, other than being very complicated with varying stances between Jerusalem and Palestine on who governs what and how officially they govern it, what the fuck do the Jews have to do with this? Like I said before, Israel considers itself a Jewish state. StoneToss does not like Jews. Putting two and two together, yet? This comic is therefore a ridiculous slippery slope fallacy in which StoneToss equates US pro-Israel policy to Jewish undermining of the United States, eventually taking the entire country over somehow. Trump’s stance on Israel has been a point of contention with some of his followers, for these supporters adept enough to even understand the situation (or at least understand biased, anti-Semitic hot takes concerning it), they are conflicted. They supported Trump because he was anti-black and brown people, but he falters at being anti-Jew. StoneToss is incapable of stopping short of simply not wanting the USA to involve itself in foreign affairs and has to turn it into an issue of not wanting to aid Israel specifically, because then that means (((((((((((((they))))))))))))))) are influencing America, which obviously means the Jews are going to replace America. Obviously.

Funny enough, while StoneToss would go on to make another somewhat pro-Trump comic (that references Jews; we’ll get to it eventually on this blog) and while StoneToss has riffed on “establishment Republicans” in the past, this strip seems to be the start of a chill between StoneToss and Trump. I guess it’s true, you can be the caricature of everything StoneToss could ever want in a President and the second you stop short of full-on genocide of the Jews you’re now a cuck.

Comic Name: Tax Abrasion
Description: Happy Tax Day!
Mouseover: Around tax never relax 
Image Name: paying-taxes-comic.png
Originally Published: 4/17/2018

What The Comic Is: Two men sit alongside one another on a park bench. The first comments that paying taxes is a waste. His friend argues that taxes are the price of living in civilized society. In the third panel, it is revealed that common core, war in the middle east and gay police are all components of “civilized society”.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Taxes are bad, everything taxes pay for is bad and more Jews Will Not Replace Us nonsense. 

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: StoneToss likes to think of himself as some post-post-irony meta Libertarian so it’s very little surprise that he dislikes taxes; he’s made previous comics and statements about them before, after all. The meat of this comic is just ‘TAXES BAD’, using cherry picked examples such as Common Core (a newer form of schooling used in tax-funded public education that has admittedly well deserved criticism drawn toward it), or… gay police? I don’t get it. Does StoneToss think police are gay? Does he think a special unit of police exist that solely handle gay criminals? I honestly don’t fucking know what’s gay about the police, or why StoneToss would be anti-police. Nothing happened around the time of the comic’s publishing that involved any type of specific news or controversy surrounding gay people or police that I can find. I suppose if anything the takeaway is just that the police allow gay people to serve as officers? StoneToss is nothing if not an absolutely raging homophobe (in addition to everything else he phobes) so it makes sense, I guess.

But the creamy, melted buttery topping of this steak of idiocy is the newspaper. “WAR IN THE MIDDLE EAST AGAIN!” reads the headline. And as if the last comic wasn’t on the nose enough with the anti-Semitism, StoneToss feels it’s very necessary to add a wringing pair of hands (obviously meant to be an offensive caricature of Jews) to very subtly and very intelligently make this about Israel and the Jews. He could’ve just left the comic at Common Core and wars and offended very few people, just making it your average Libertarian-leaning “I hate taxes” comic. But StoneToss literally can not do anything if it isn’t bigoted against at least one group of people, so here we are. Obviously StoneToss was still feeling upset about Donald Trump, Hitler 2.0 for hopeful young StoneToss, and the Presidential stance on Jerusalem. 
Of course, StoneToss wants to believe the Jews have already infiltrated America’s government. Trump is only a (((puppet))) propping up Israel so the Jews can take over America oh my god wake up people can’t you see that Obama’s name spelled backwards is Jew if you replace the A with a J and the M with an E and the B/O with a W??? Also obviously taxes are a tool of the Jews so they can destroy America with public education (education being the enemy of all bigots) and infrastructure that supports everyone (supporting everyone being the enemy of all bigots).

Now please join along with me in the customary taxing of the gay police officers.

 Comic Name: Founding Bothers
Description: Manifest Destiny can stop at the coasts.
Mouseover: “Give Arabs liberty, or give me death” – every 21st century president 
Image Name: middle-east-wars-comic.png
Originally Published: 5/1/2018

What The Comic Is: A man rushes to the side of George Washington, informing him that the Ottoman Empire is causing trouble in the middle east. The man asks Washington if troops should be deployed. After a blank-faced look, Washington dismisses the concern with a rhetorical question about shit in the middle east.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: George Washington didn’t care about the middle east, therefore America shouldn’t care about the middle east over 200 years later. Oh yeah, this is also still about the fucking Jews if you didn’t follow along with that.
Why It’s Fucking Stupid: I was originally planning to skip over this comic, as after the previous two installments, StoneToss went on a brief binge of comics that were a little too basic to bother covering on this blog. However, I figured it was important to talk about two things. Firstly, why “but muh founding fawters” is a stupid argument and Nextly, that this is still a comic whining about the aforementioned fucking Jews.

Even if you don’t care much about history, the Ottoman Empire is a name you’ve probably heard before. It was a big ass empire of states that existed for, frankly, a pretty damn long time. From 1299 to shortly after the first World War in 1922, the empire of the Ottomans existed in various sizes across parts of the middle east, Africa and eastern Europe. Existing for over 600 years, it’s not hard to see why their motto was “The Eternal Empire” and why we named a piece of furniture after them. By the time Washington was President of America, the Ottoman Empire was already almost half a millennium old. 

StoneToss cherry picks. He cherry picks because he is a fucking idiot. He has no arguments unless he carefully and deliberately picks what parts of reality to base his arguments on. Sure, Washington was at many times in his Presidency strong against America interfering with foreign countries (especially those across the ocean). It’s true that by today’s standards, these views of Washington would be regarded as incredibly isolationist, but this is a specifically picked element of Washington’s leadership and it lacks all context. Washington’s isolationism came from a need to prioritize America first; not because Mexicans were moving into California, but because the nation was entirely new and entirely on its own. It fought for independence on the aid of foreign governments and needed to build up its own military and cement its own economy and trade, to say nothing of building the rest of the country. They didn’t have the capacity to fight a war in the middle east when Washington was President. It barely had a navy, let alone any ships. 
StoneToss tries to suggest the founding fathers would never go to war with the middle east by using Washington as a mouth piece for his own beliefs. Very oddly enough, however, the USA would be entering the First Barbary War in 1801. This war was fought by Sweden and the USA (just the USA after 1802) against the ‘Barbary States’ (and also Morocco). The Barbary States, while autonomous, were provinces of the Ottoman Empire. But it doesn’t stop there! The USA would have other wars with the Ottoman Empire, culminating in an obscure conflict modernly referred to as World War 1. I guess in the end, the USA really did care about the Ottoman Empire. Funny.

This isn’t the first time StoneToss has said something stupid and backed it up solely with “BUT THE FOUNDING FATHERS…”, motherfucker, they lived 200 god damn years ago. The inherent issue with citing literally anything about them is that you need to make an argument as to why or why not their policies and actions are relevant to our time in the present. Of course, StoneToss know this, which is why he knowingly cites George Washington in a way that is intentionally dishonest.

Comic Name: Insect Man
Description: Soyper Heroes.
Mousover: Some stupid lennyface
Image Name: bugman-comic.png
Originally Published: 5/3/2018

What The Comic Is: Ant-Man followed by Spider Man are displayed on the big screen at a film theater. In the third panel, an overweight Marvel fan is ecstatic at seeing his favorite heroes.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Liking movies makes you fat and a consumer and taxation is theft but spending your money on anything other than Bitcoin is stupid.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: So this comic actually confuses a lot of readers because it hinges on an obscure reference to a new slang, “bug man”, used around places like 4chan’s /pol/ board (the political forum of 4chan) to refer to anyone who is a “mindless consumer”. It is also used as a racial slur as well, against any race considered to be especially consumer-centric (like many Asians). The insult is as childish and sterile as you can possibly fucking be without devolving straight into Ned Flanders-esque yodly-dodly gibberish, yes.

The comic therefore has a double meaning. StoneToss is mocking a supposed lack of creativity from Marvel because two of their dozens of characters are themed after insects (or rather, one is an insect and the other an arachnid, but close difference either way), while also mocking people who spend money to see the characters. I mean, one is ANT man and the other is SPIDER man! They’re like THE SAME GUY and you spend money to see BOTH their movies! *Slaps forehead* I mean, wow I just mean can’t you see I mean, wow I just mean *exasperated sputtering*.

I love how StoneToss took the time to draw two of the chairs in the audience empty, lol. Yeah, that’s the SiLeNt MaJoRiTy who don’t waste their money on movies like soy cucks and instead invest in BITCOIN so they can lose all of their fucking investment in an unstable digital currency. StoneToss doesn’t like ANY pop culture and consumes NO media he lives in a one-room house with NO FURNITURE or PICTURES HANGING UP and he drinks only RAIN WATER he collects from the case of his 2004 Gateway PC because spending money on ANYTHING makes you a CUCK and FAT and you eat SOY and you’re a BUG.

Comic Name: Wagging the Dog
Description: Sup, dawg? 
Mouseover: Hm, are all dog breeds created equal?
Image Name: dog-breed-intelligence-comic.png 
Originally Published: 5/10/2018
What The Comic Is: A man and his son observe some dogs. The son asks his father why dogs are so wildly different from one another. The man answers that it is their breed. The son asks why dog breeds are such different sizes, to which the father answers that it is their genes. The son asks why some dogs are ‘clever’ and others are not. The father stammers and a bead of sweat rolls down his forehead as he explains that it is the result of purely economic factors.
What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That humans are dogs and black people are stupid because of their genes.
Why It’s Fucking Stupid: This is one of a few comics I couldn’t wait to get to. It’s a bit satisfying to end such a large post on, really. But anyways, dogs. Humans are apes of the genus homo (lol). Dogs are… well, dogs, of the genus canis. What I’m highlighting here is that humans are not dogs. StoneToss is not a stranger to false equivalency, and there’s not an equivalency much falser than comparing dogs to humans.
Obviously the comic is a riff on “all colors of human are equal” and the fact that black people in countries like the USA face struggles that put them at societal and financial disadvantages. Instead, StoneToss tries to show us how ridiculous it would be if we referred to intelligence between dog breeds as being due to ‘economic factors’. I mean, yeah, that’d be a pretty stupid fucking thing to say when you consider that dogs don’t have an economy or any concept of money. 
Dogs have been selectively and intentionally bred by humans in such a way that has significantly altered almost every different aspect of them, from their colors/shape/size/temperament and their general levels of intelligence. Do you know what humans haven’t been selectively breeding traits into? Humans. I mean, some humans did try that once before, actually. We called them the Nazis.
And I’m sure you could selectively breed any kind of human you wanted, given enough time. Maybe we could create full-on “breeds” of human, from the mountainous Great Australian Longleg to the diminutive Teacup Korean. Can you imagine the fucked up skeletons and muscular structures we could breed into our fellow man?! Sigh, if only we had the time. 
However, until that fateful day, it remains that we don’t selectively breed traits into humans and therefore we are all very commonly related in terms of body shape, size, color and intelligence that vary not across ‘types’ or ‘breeds’ or ‘colors’ of human, but rather across individuals. 
It’s not a surprise that StoneToss doesn’t understand dogs very well, though. He probably doesn’t ever hang out with any of them. After all, dog the best friend of man; not of spineless unfunny bigots who awkwardly avoid looking black guys in the eyes when in public, lest their repressed interracial cuckold fetish give them a raging 3 inch boner in public.
Thanks for reading this stupid blog. Here’s to 100k more views and 100k more StoneToss comics!
Edit: 100k StoneToss comics is way too many, now that I think about it. Let’s shoot for, I dunno. Maybe 50, 60 more?

StoneToss: Episode 26

Comic Name: Mud Slinging
Description: “I’m rubber and you’re glue” only worked in elementary school.
Mouseover: Imagine how many concessions have been given away just to avoid being called the R-word.
Image Name: democrats-are-the-real-racists-comic.png
Originally Published: 3/6/2018

 What The Comic Is: An elephant accuses democrats of being the real racists. Sometime in the future, the same(?) elephant now accuses neo-Leninists of being the real transphobes.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: The republican party is becoming ‘weaker’ and more left-leaning in an attempt to avoid being called racists, giving away different concessions the party used to stand for.
Why It’s Fucking Stupid: StoneToss thinks StoneToss is really smart. How smart does StoneToss think StoneToss is? So much smart that everyone else is dumb. StoneToss is no stranger to rampantly burning down every single fucking bridge that might actually attach to the inane, childish island that is his personal world view. He’s mocked republicans in the past, preferring to style himself as some kind of ultra unique alt-righter who is better than your typical alt-righters because he “hides” his fascism behind Shmorky characters. “It’s so brilliant,” StoneToss crowed to himself as he drank another cup full of his own piss, “I truly am above everyone else!” he finished the salty swill off with one final triumphant gulp.

We can see in the second panel that the republican elephant is now a stereotypical depiction of an ultra left-winger, which is StoneToss saying that if republicans can’t say that black people and mexicans are ruining America, then they’re basically on the road to becoming the far extreme of the left. StoneToss has mocked horse shoe theory before, as well, so it seems as if StoneToss thinks that both republicans and democrats are just trying to out-moral one another by both shifting further and further to the left, so that in XXX years time, the old “ultra left” is the new right and the new ultra left is… I dunno? A gelatinous mass of flesh and psyche of all people merged together into a single hive-being? StoneToss might be crazy enough to imagine that’s where the left wing leads to, which would be terrible for him because it would mean there’d be no more black guys, and if there aren’t anymore black guys who would he fantasize about being cuckolded by??? My god, no wonder StoneToss hates the left!! He needs racism and alt-right rhetoric so he can perpetuate his own humiliation fetish by being cuckold by the very people he hates. It makes so much sense now. Even if it’s fucking stupid.

Where does StoneToss think the left wing ends, anyways? Because eventually, if the right wing is destined to become the party of the “die cis scum” tattoo, wouldn’t that mean it’d simply merge with the ideals and principles of the left, and we would have no more right wing? Does StoneToss really believe the left wing can just continue further and further left ad nauseam without any stopping point?  This could have just been a comic about how he thinks republicans are becoming more left wing in their attempts to ‘bow down to PC culture’, but he went and suggested that the republican in the second panel still had someone to argue with so what the fuck does he think the left wing can possibly turn into if its current most extreme outlier becomes the new right wing?

Oh yeah, he didn’t think at all before he made this stupid fucking comic because he literally never thinks before he makes a comic. Silly me.

Basically, StoneToss is just upset republicans can’t be as openly racist as easy as they were able to be in generations past. And you know what we call people who can’t be racist? We call them CUCKS. Unlike guys like StoneToss who actually have real cuckold fetishes. We just call those guys FUCKING LOSERS because no woman will ever lower her standards and self-value enough to date StoneToss, let alone entertain his fetish. So that’s why StoneToss hates cucks so much; he desperately wishes he could be one, but he can’t! It makes so much sense now. Even if it’s fucking stupid.

Comic Name: Scapegoat
Description: If we’re going to redistribute wealth, what better place to start than a Tower of Ivory?
Mouseover: Peddling Marxism is big business.
Image Name: student-loans-comic-1.png
Originally Published: 3/8/2018

What The Comic Is: A student in a college class asks his professor how the school can teach about classless societies if the students are paying for the teacher’s salaries. The (((teacher))) deflects, claiming the student is really paying the greedy bankers who granted his student loan.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Colleges brainwash students into becoming Marxists.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Of course StoneToss is anti-intellectual. I mean, why wouldn’t he be? He hates cuckolds because he himself is incapable of ever becoming one, so it makes sense that he hates intellectuals for the exact same reason. He’s also anti-college, because he believes students are brainwashed into becoming Marxist liberals. 

Funny thing is that I totally agree with StoneToss that the USA has an issue with the price of higher education. College costs are insane and have gotten completely out of control to the point where it’s a massive financial burden that society expects you to assume when you’re too young to even understand what 150,00 dollars of debt really means. There are a ton of problems with college, but being Jewish-controlled propaganda machines is not one of them.
StoneToss strawmans the professor (because the professor is depicted as Jewish and we all know the Jews love them some Illuminati mind control societal domination) by having the professor blame the banks for granting student loans to begin with, which is a thing I am 100% certain no one in real life has ever tried to do before.  

A penchant of most forms of communism, as I’m sure you may already know, is that there is no class system in society, based either on ethnic hierarchy or wealth. StoneToss attempts to point out the hypocrisy of his nonexistent straw man caricature that colleges teach students to be Marxists even though the students make less money than the professors do and are the ones who provide the income for their salaries. Even if a hypothetical professor wanted to live in a purely communistic world wherein everything is totally classless, he is living in a society that is not that thing. Ergo, this is tantamount to approaching someone who wants to change the society they live in and saying “You want to change society, yet you live in it? Bit hypocritical, don’t you think?”. Of course, StoneToss doesn’t think the (((professor))) who indoctrinates his students to Marxism wants to actually live in a Marxist world, they only use Marxism to exploit unwitting college students. This actually makes perfect sense if you think about it.*

*It only makes perfect sense if you’re intentionally skewing reality in such a way as to fit your fake bullshit that doesn’t really exist.