StoneToss: Episode 97 (A Very Merry StoneToss Is An Idiot X-mas Special)

Ho ho ho, Merry Non-Cultural Annual Event. I hope you’ve all been very good little blog readers this year, because I sure haven’t been paying attention. In fact, you might even have noticed I haven’t posted anything! In months! And there’s a very good explanation for this. It’s because over the last couple of months, I haven’t posted anything.

I know I’ve let this blog project fall to the wayside a bit. I have to apologize for this, as real life was happening to me and something like this little blog project kept getting pushed further and further onto the backburner. The second half of 2021 was a fairly big year for me, I landed a pretty serious job and quickly got a sort of ‘promotion’ that left me working a lot in between posting on Reddit and arguing about which MOBA game is the worst. Also, my girlfriend and I are expecting our first child together and I’ve been spending extra time making her comfortable through the pregnancy.

All this to say that, frankly, I just flat-out love myself more than I love all of you. Mmm, that’s right. Daddy loves himself (furiously begins masturbating) MMMmmmmmmmm yes, you naughty little [full identity-encompassing adjective]s could never please me the way I please myself mmmmMMMmmmmmMMMMYessssssssMMmmmmmmmmMMM.

BUT NOW I’M BACK! In some form of capacity! And if you think I’ve spent the last several weeks doing absolutely nothing, you would be correct (as long as it pertains solely to this blog)! BUT NOW I’M GOING TO WRITE SOMETHING! And here it is!

Judge Dregs.

Comic Name: Gun Shy
Description: Also, don’t google the founding father’s Naturalization Act of 1790.
Mouseover: Judge Dregs.
Image Name: shall-not-be-infringed-2a-political-cartoon.png
Originally Published: 4/30/2020

What The Comic Is: A pair of hands hold a cartoon scroll, written upon the scroll are the words “Shall not be infringed”. In the second panel, members of the USA Supreme Court (seemingly Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Brett Kavanaugh and Clarence Thomas) ponder what the meaning of the words could possibly be.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: A piece of paper is a valid argument against any form of gun control.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Yeeee-awn. You know, it’s been a crazy year. Derek Chauvin was convicted of the murder of George Floyd, the Taliban is back and Covid never left. No matter how crazy the world gets, however, there’s one frequency that has always been static: StoneToss making shitty comics. And which of his comics are shittier than all the second amendment ones? Well, maybe all the racist ones or sexist ones… but ah, who’s really keeping score? All of his comics are equally shitty!

StoneToss is no stranger to whining about gun rights, and we’ve covered several of those comics here before. The only thing more exhausted than the avenues of commentary one can possibly make on StoneToss’s second amendment comics would be StoneToss’s second amendment comics themselves. This comic is paragon to that notion. It’s barely even a comic. It’s hardly a joke. It treads dangerously close to becoming the alt-right equivalent of a Family Circus comic. It feels less like this was meant to be a panel comic and more like it was meant to be a Microsoft Paint meme you’d see on r/conservative or something.

It’s quite telling that this is the one single argument StoneToss falls back to over and over again, far more than any other pro-gun argument. It’s a mere appeal to the vague concept that the architects of the USA’s government system would agree with StoneToss if they were alive today. One might even suggest StoneToss isn’t very good at arguing for gun rights. I mean, after all, whenever you tune into pro-gun rants, there’s usually a litany of different points and data they’ll push to argue their standpoint. If you look at StoneToss and his stance on things like women having sex or black people existing, he’s no stranger to dredging up all sorts of ‘facts’ and ‘statistics’ (from increasingly obscure sources, no less) but he’s never done the same thing for gun control. It couldn’t possibly be that StoneToss doesn’t really give a shit about gun control and he only makes these comics to grift to his shallow fanbase? But that would mean StoneToss has a lack of moral conviction at best and a total abandon of honesty at worse! Can you seriously tell me either of those descriptions fit StoneToss? Well? CAN YOU??

Answer: Yes

Legalize lead.

Comic Name: Give Me Liberty or Give Me Meth
Description: You can now legally smoke weed in more states than you can refuse to bake a gay cake in.
Mouseover: Legalize lead.
Image Name: come-and-take-it-libertarianism-political-cartoon.png
Originally Published: 5/5/2020

What The Comic Is: A man waves a flag that is inscribed with the image of a condom. Below the condom are the words “Come and take it”. The man leads of a group of armed compatriots. In the second panel, a fat fedora-sporting neckbeard in a Gadsden flag t-shirt holds aloft a sign, though this one bears a marijuana joint instead of a condom, along with the words “coom and take it”.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Marijuana is bad and modern day libertarians are weak because they don’t fight over cannons.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Of all of StoneToss’s dumbass views, his fervent anti-weed stance is the probably the most hilarious. The dude just fucking hates weed, it’s hilarious. Again, let no one question StoneToss’s status as a Christianity-touting Biblethumping fascist Ned Flanders who hates all things off the white and narrow.

So let’s start from the beginning. The first panel depicts a man that we can assume is part of the Battle of Gonzales, carrying its iconic and historic flag. The flag depicts a cannon, which is a funny coincidence, because the battle of Gonzales was actually fought over a cannon! Funny how those things work, huh? Anyways, a big of background: basically, Gonzales was a colonial town in eventually-to-be-Texas in the 1830’s. The Mexican military loaned the town of Gonzales a cannon, so that the people in the town could fend of those pesky Native peoples. Anyways, eventually the Mexican military decides they want the cannon back and a skirmish ensued. Someone made a flag with a condom on it and the rest is history.

The Battle of Gonzales is a pretty important piece of history for a lot of Texans, and you’ll find the “Come and take it” cannon on all sorts of tacky bullshit, like beer koozies or condom wrappers. “Come and take it”, of course, being a historically important quote for the USA in general, first being used (in the context of the USA) during the Revolutionary War against Great Britain. Whether it’s a fort during the revolution or a cannon during the not revolution, it didn’t take long for contemporary Americans to lift the quote from its context and hammer it down to stand for pretty much fucking anything. In this case, StoneToss is making yet another commentary on second amendment rights (“Come and take it [da gunz]” being a favorite quote among gun activists to illicit a sense of power fantasy).

So what is StoneToss complaining about, exactly? That modern libertarians… don’t have a cannon to fight over? That you can legally smoke weed? I’m at a loss, as I genuinely don’t understand. StoneToss loves doing this, though. This “in the past, people were BETTER and in the present THEY SUCK”, because, as stated in the above article, it’s an easy argument to make when you vaguely claim people in the past would agree with you. Those people aren’t alive anymore, so they can theoretically be whatever StoneToss wants to make them (remember, StoneToss constructs his own false safespace realities, and no one is easier to fit into that mold than dead people who can’t argue against it!). In doing this, StoneToss can bury himself deep into his second favorite pastime (his first favorite pastime is being an incel): Claiming that everyone is stupid but him. StoneToss’s entire personality, his entire central character, is built upon exclusivity. The more StoneToss feels he can be exclusive, even towards those who form his core fanbase, the better he thinks he is. He regularly goes after his own ilk, claiming to be above them in some special Kool Kid Klub of sorts, which only the truly enlightened masters of the universe can have a seat within. This is such a low energy and pathetic way to live your life, and it speaks volumes about what a lonely person StoneToss must really be when you strip away his veil of lulznonymity.

I love the description of this comic, like StoneToss is pill dropping some BASED TAKEZ. “You can SMOKE WEED but not DESCRIMINATE AGAINST HOMOSEXUALS“, with no further elaboration. He seriously thinks that comment speaks for itself, lol.

Go cry into a Bible, you bigoted little fuck.

Well what do you say, folks? Was that worth the wait OR WHAT? As we go into 2022 I want to be able to set aside more time each week to prepare material for this blog. Not just StoneToss, but Ben Garrison and maybe even a couple of Pumpkinheads too. I’ve been sitting on a longform essay for something like a year this point, and I’m not sure how best to finally edit it and release it, but hey, that might happen next year! Maybe!

Thanks for reading, thanks for supporting, thanks for making fun of StoneToss and most importantly, thanks for being such patient little babies while I unofficially took an extended time away from the blog. I don’t want to say I’m officially coming back to posting regularly just yet, but I will make it more of a priority as we go forward.

goodnight i love you

StoneToss: Episode 86

I sometimes remember to Tweet blog news and updates on my Twitter. I sometimes take other people’s money when they subscribe to my Patreon

Funny how no one says that to the Taliban.

Comic Name: Powder Keg
Description: Disclaimer: The above cartoon is intended to be enjoyed as a work of comedy and political expression and does NOT represent incitement to, or endorsement of, any form of violence or insurrectionary activity either in real life or in Minecraft.
Mouseover: Funny how no one says that to the Taliban.
Image Name: second-amendment-john-f-kennedy-stonetoss-political-cartoon.png
Amogus: Second panel, a glare in the corner of the windshield frame.
Originally Published: 6/24/2021

What The Comic Is: A gay caricature offers a smug rhetorical to a Gadsden flag-shirt wearing gun owner, asking him what his second amendment could do against the government’s jet planes and nukes. The second panel shows United States President JFK as he rides in the back of the car he was assassinated in.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Presidents have been assassinated before, therefore gun owners can fight the military.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: God damn it. You know, I try not to make posts covering the most recent StoneToss comic because I’m trying to work my way through a massive backlog of old shit, but the guy just can’t not say something egregiously stupid and force my hand. So here we are.

StoneToss is a big proponent of the second amendment, or the “right to bear arms” and has made roughly a dozen or so comics before where he plays into this fantasy of gun owners standing up to tyrannical governments (be them the British during the revolutionary war or some strawman version of the modern day). Second amendments adherents will argue that we need high powered automatic weapons “incase the government goes rogue”, as this is (depending on who you ask) part of the reason the second amendment was drafted in the first place: to allow citizens to arm themselves for protection against what included their own government. The common argument against this (as seen in the comic) is that the the USA’s military has equipment and power far eclipsing any guns civilians have access to. StoneToss has grappled with this argument before, always doing incredibly poorly at it, and this time is no different.

StoneToss tries to zero in on a presidential assassination, in this case JFK, though really any assassination would’ve worked (and by ‘worked’ I mean ‘failed’). As you might have already learned, John F. Kennedy was the 35th President of the United States and served from January 1961 until November 1963, when he died at the hand (or, well, the bullet) of sharpshooter Lee Harvey Oswald. And it’s true, sure. Oswald was just a guy who went into a building and shot the President of the United States. But what does this have to do with the argument that gun owners could battle against the US Government? Absolutely fucking nothing.

JFK was the last US President to ever be assassinated, and it was through a pure lapse of logistics (or perhaps more to do with the fact it was assumed no one would be stupid enough to actually shoot the President, or maybe you subscribe to the conspiracy theory that it was all an inside job by the CIA). Oswald did not battle against the might of the US military to reach Kennedy, like some kind of end-stage boss battle in a fucking FPS game. These days the security of the President is taken so seriously that most people with plans to harm the political leader don’t make it within ten miles of the el presidente’s location before being picked up and arrested. And even if you did manage to kill the President, what exactly does this prove? That guns can kill someone if you shoot them? Wow, what a brilliant conclusion. I guess without the President, the US military’s nukes and jet planes suddenly stop working, like some kind of domino effect when you take out the head vampire. Somehow I think there’s a slight difference between shooting at an unarmored, unprotected man in a car who doesn’t know you’re there and shooting at a heavily armored military vehicle equipped with top of the line anti-life technology that is being piloted by a group of fully trained soldiers who already know your exact location thanks to heat mapping done by drones that are so high in the sky you can’t even see them. I mean, this is just a hypothetical anyways because if this scenario were real, you wouldn’t even see the armored vehicle full of soldiers driving towards you because you’d have already been terraformed by the tactical bombing.

But alright, alright. We don’t need to go into a big imaginary scenario where the US military attacks its own citizens. We’ve been down that road before and frankly the answer is always: There is no previous comparison (the revolutionary war, JFK assassination) that stacks up anywhere close to today’s power disparity that exists between the US military and anyone/everyone else. If we imagine a world where the entirety of the US military suddenly turns on the population, we’re fucked. No local LARPer militia or “I watch lots of military training videos on YouTube” heroes are going to stop them. the argument “but what about the Middle East!” is often employed when trying to find examples of an ‘undergeared’ militia fending off the US military, even StoneToss calls upon it by mentioning the Taliban. Well, let’s talk about that for a minute. What kind of weapons does the Taliban have? Military weapons. Where did they get them? From the US military, either directly or indirectly (many weapons and equipment were taken after government militaries abandoned them, this is due in large part to Middle Eastern militaries and their incredibly poor leadership, as they promote based entirely on loyalty rather than any other qualification). So by bringing up the Taliban, StoneToss is arguing that the US military’s equipment can be defeated, but only by a force that is using the US military’s equipment. Fucking genius. This is ignoring the sheer logistical issues the US faces when doing war in the Middle East, and that they would not be facing any of these massive problems if invading their own soil, making their war machine dozens of times more efficient and severely hampering the ability to “hide in the hills” ala Middle Eastern terrorist cells.


“Did the British army in the 1700’s have nuclear weapons?”

<StoneToss offers no reply or acknowledgement, he is too busy making a comic about molesting kids>

It's what they would've wanted.

Comic Name: Suffrage the Consequences
Description: I’m pretty sure they were pro gay marriage too.
Mouseover: It’s what they would’ve wanted.
Image Name: 2nd-amendment-founding-fathers-comic.png
Originally Published: 1/8/2020

What The Comic Is: A gay caricature smugly comments that the founding fathers would not have wanted citizens owning assault rifles. The second panel flashes back to the founding fathers, with one of them commenting that they sure hope black homosexual women will be able to vote.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: The constitution doesn’t say anything about restricting the right to bear arms, therefore it is just as relevant today as it was back then because the founding fathers wanted everything a certain way and weren’t thinking about black lesbians.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Holy fuck this comic is so amazingly fucking stupid. It’s a shoo-in for one of StoneToss’ stupidest comics of all time. StoneToss often fails to create a valid (or anything resembling a halfway intelligent) argument or observation with his comics. He normally has to lean into nonexistent strawmen or just rely on pure mask-off bigotry in order to reach any kind of point. But this is one of those StoneToss comics where the dumbfuck actually defeats himself with his own argument. You could very easily slightly edit the text in the first panel to say “The founding fathers wanted everyone to be able to own guns for all time!” and then leave the second panel as it is, and you’d have a perfect argument against gun ownership. The crux of StoneToss’ argument is that the founding fathers weren’t thinking, or caring, about things like black homosexual women being able to vote or about guns in the future being immeasurably more powerful than they were in the 1800’s. And yeah, they basically weren’t, which is why things in the USA have changed despite not being covered specifically in the original documents that founded the country.

Guess who didn’t have many rights 200 years ago? Black people, women and homosexuals. Guess who has broken barriers and fought for their right to be treated with equality and equity? Black people, women and homosexuals. Almost as if the words of the Constitution are not infallible laws meant to be eternally adhered to and our society is, in fact, capable of changing and realizing the ideals and things thought to be important in the 1700’s are not necessarily the same today. And StoneToss makes this argument for us with the second panel of the comic. What a stupid motherfucker.

Yeah, it doesn’t matter what the founding fathers were thinking about when they drafted the constitution. It was hundreds of fucking years ago. Of course they didn’t think of black lesbians being able to vote, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen anyway once society evolved and changed. If black lesbians can vote, then what’s to say the second amendment can’t be re-interpreted or changed? StoneToss certainly doesn’t make a case for it.

So thank you, StoneToss, though you’re an idiot and didn’t realize what you were doing, for agreeing with the rest of us that, yes, the founding fathers did not have the insight necessary to forge lasting fundamentals that would reach into the year 2000 and beyond. I know you were trying so, so hard to be smug and smart with your little comic, but hey. Better to be accidentally woke than unironically bigoted, I guess?

StoneToss: Episode 70 (Special Edition 5)

Welcome to yet another special edition of StoneToss Is An Idiot. Crazy to think we’re getting so close to 100 episodes. Maybe in another year or three I’ll actually catch up to StoneToss’ current comics. But hey, if you’re interested, feel free to support my dumb project on Patreon. For small tithes of financial credit, you can help a blog make fun of StoneToss.

What is it with women and body counts?

Comic Name: Lethal Force
Description: Femme fatale
Mouseover: What is it with women and body counts?
Image Name: female-cops-stonetoss-political-cartoon.png
Originally Published: 4/15/2021
Amogus: Second panel, the car’s headlight.

What The Comic Is: A man in the midst of an armed bank robbery stands with his looted dollar bags and potted plant, sweating profusely as the law enforcement officers out the window demand he comes out with his hands up. In the second panel, the S.W.A.T officer finishes with “…Or we’re sending the female cops.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Women are always making mistakes and therefore should probably not be in “men” jobs, such as police officers.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Made obviously in response to the April 11th incident where Kimberly Ann Potter, a police officer of the Minnesota town of Brooklyn City, claimed to have only accidentally shot and killed 20 year old Daunte Wright. Potter alleges she thought the 9mm Glock handgun was her taser when she pulled it out and fired on Daunte, striking him a single time. Daunte tried to flee away in his vehicle after the shot was fired, though he quickly crashed his car and was pronounced dead. While this incident marks yet another instance of a cop killing an unarmed black man, this time the situation was different. It was a possible accident, and the killer was a woman.

How do you get a bigot like StoneToss to stop licking police boots? Put those boots on someone with a vagina. StoneToss must have been so, so, so unbelievably relieved to have learned this was an accidental shooting and not intentional. If it had been intentional, he’d have no choice but to put the good lady Potter up on the same cum and shit-encrusted pedestal he puts all other officers on. But thankfully it was only an accident, so he can now frame this as a way of attacking women. Whew! I’m entirely fucking unsure of what StoneToss means by the mouse over text, “What is it with women and body counts?“. Is he trying to infer this happens often? Is it some kind of stupid, far-reaching jab at abortion? I mean if we want to look at the numbers (StoneToss never wants to look at the numbers, unless he can somehow use faulty data to support a fake argument), then men have killed way more people than women, be them cops or no.

But ah, wait, none of those men ever accidentally killed someone! Male police officers never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever accidentally discharge their weapon. And they NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER accidentally shoot other people with their weapons!!! But that’s okay, because in this case, Potter mistook service weapon for her taser. What a stupid woman (umm, redundant statement much lmao??). We all know that male police officers have NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER shot someone with a gun when they thought it was a taser!!!!!!!!!

StoneToss, like always, gets absolutely buttwrecked by reality. He’s such a weaselly, pathetic little coward. I can’t imagine being the kind of absolute clown who walks around saying stupid shit that ten seconds of Google searching completely undermines. But then I’m not a fucking idiot, so I guess StoneToss and I simply operate on two different frequencies. That’s life, eh?

Just a completely normal and healthy lifestyle choice.

Comic Name: Knotjob
Description: People worried about Trump need to look at the man in the mirror.
Mouseover: Just a completely healthy and normal lifestyle choice.
Image Name: trans-work-suicide-comic-1.png
Originally Published: 9/12/2019

What The Comic Is: A trans man poses the question of how trans people go to work. They explain that first, they put on a dress shirt. In the last panel, they explain they grab a necktie as they place a noose around their throat.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: The worst president in the history of the USA, who was staunchly anti-trans rights, has nothing to do with the oppression that trans people experience.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: On its own this comic is nothing special for StoneToss. He’s made stupid trans suicide comics before, and he doesn’t even mention the epic and never-gets-old “41%” statistic. Instead, though, he makes this a comic concerning Donald Trump.

With the description of the comic in mind, StoneToss is trying to imply that Donald Trump, the de facto worst overall USA President of all time, is not to blame for suffering in the trans community. Ah yes, why would anyone blame the president of the United States for his open anti-trans rhetoric and policies that were targeted towards trans people? Obviously it’s the trans people who are their own worst enemies. This is StoneToss’ stupid attempt to re-frame who the enemy of trans people is. Is it the most powerful political leader in the world who supports and propagates anti-trans policy and feeling? No! It’s the trans people themselves, obviously. After all, StoneToss is a white, cis-gendered man and Trump never said anything bad about him. Trans people are just being babies lol.

I bet you a dollar StoneToss whines and pisses his pants about male suicide, too. Somehow to him it’s this unbelievable and terrible thing when a man kills himself because a court unfairly ruled against him in a child custody match (which to be fair, that is a very terrible thing), but when a trans person is attacked by the president of the United States and kills themselves, it’s because trans people are mentally ill LARPers and people are focusing too much on Donald Trump. Ah, StoneToss. You fuckin’ idiot!

The comic’s name is a really bad pun on the term “nutjob”, which combines the word “nut” (or what StoneToss does when he sees a black man with a white woman) and the word “job” (or what StoneToss would lose if his boss ever finds his shitty online comic).

Shall not be infringed

Comic Name: All Yours
Description: Come and take it.
Mouseover: Shall not be infringed
Image Name: gun-control-comic.png
Originally Published: 9/17/2019

What The Comic Is: A British soldier holds out his hands, proclaiming that he is here to take the colony’s guns. An American soldier, his comrades taking aim with their rifles, tells the British soldier he can start with the ammunition.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: He’s a based freedom fighter.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: “Sure, start with the ammunition,” StoneToss spits back defiantly. He and his brothers in arms needed their high powered automatic rifles for this very day: the day THE LEFTIES (who are weak and cucks and don’t have guns, by the way) TOOK OVER THE WORLD WITH GUNS. StoneToss sat, his weak and unconditioned body completely incapable of putting up much physical resistance against the well equipped, trained and local foe he was making his stand against. But it was okay… they had their guns. The government would never infringe on his right to bear arms. It was foretold, hundreds of years ago (the earth is only a few thousand years old, you see, so really that wasn’t that long ago. Besides, if Jesus didn’t want white men to have guns, why did he bury all the gun powder and fossils?). StoneToss smirked. “Come and take them,” he thought, as a tactical missile fired from three hundred miles away vaporized him, completely demolishing the Wal-Mart he and his freedom fighters were inhabiting. He was a fucking badass, just like the guys from the Revolving War, or whatever.

Someday he’d be the good guy with a gun that stops the bad guy with a gun. He just needed more guns. And also he had to stop being such a coward. And also he needed there to be a situation where an active shooter was at large and he was positioned, with a gun, in such a way as to stop the shooter. Any day now, for sure…

Always worth pointing out that people like StoneToss (read: conservatives of any color) always like to roleplay that they’d be with Washington, fighting against the British for liberty, while in all likelihood they’d have probably been staunch supporters of the monarchy. In StoneToss’ case I suppose he’d just be a village idiot who draws comics in mud, screams at every woman that passes by and then dies of tuberculosis.

A forbidden love.

Comic Name: True Love
Description: Love you, my readers and fellow kings.
Mouseover: A forbidden love.
Image Name: love-wins-comic.png
Originally Published: 9/19/2019

What The Comic Is: A gay man smugly proclaims that “Love wins”. He sees a stereotypical family of a husband, wife, son and daughter who fly the American flag and go to church; his expression turns an annoyed incredulous.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Gay people give a fuck about other families.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Gay people do not fucking care about hetro-normative parents in a cis-gendered relationship raising kids. Like, they just don’t. StoneToss is not a victim (or rather, StoneToss’ world view is not victimized; no woman will ever fuck StoneToss and thus he will never procreate or have a family). Almost 100% of StoneToss’ rhetoric, be it homophobic or transphobic or Islamophobic or Anti-Semitic or sexist or racist or pretty much anything else, always relies heavily on StoneToss somehow portraying himself to be a victim. When he can’t think of any ways to do that, he decides “Ah, screw it, I’ll just strawman so hard that it’s bad even for me” and makes a comic about a gay man getting upset that a nuclear family exists.

StoneToss: No one fucking cares about you, bitch. You could (hypothetically, of course) get a wife and make kids with her, but gay people are not going to be angry. They don’t give a fuck. You are a loser. They only care about “traditional families” when bigots push that as being the only, or the ‘right’, family type. Of course a gay man will be upset if you say “GAY PEOPLE CAN’T RAISE A CHILD, ONLY MAN AND WIFE CAN”, but it’s not because the gay guy is upset that other families exist. If you let him marry his husband and adopt a child and you shut the fuck up and stay in your pathetic, wimpy little lane, then he is never going to notice your lameass exists. He’ll be too busy having sex with his husband and raising his family to ever be concerned with you and your shitty headcannon cope fantasy where Rei from Evangelion comes to life and cooks chicken nuggets for you in between blowjobs.

StoneToss (looking at trans people committing suicide): Bwahahahaha, being a victim is such unbased le cuck fail 8)

StoneToss (making himself a victim in a fake world where gay people care about him): Bwahahaha, being a victim is such based le pepe win 8)

All washed up.

Comic Name: For Sail
Description: Huh, you’d think sea level rise would stop billion dollar skyscraper construction in Manhattan, but whatever…
Mouseover: All washed up.
Image Name: climate-change-comic-1.png
Originally Published: 9/23/2019

What The Comic Is: A man explains that if climate change isn’t solved soon, that another man’s house will end up underwater. The second man, revealed to be selling the house, leans on the ‘for sale’ sign and explains that while that’s great and all, the beachfront property will still cost extra, much to the first man’s disappointment.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Climate change isn’t real because people still build buildings and they wouldn’t do that if climate change was real.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Yeah, StoneToss. People never build stuff in the wrong place or anything. Great argument, you fucking idiot. The worst part about this comic is that it would have been a great comic if it wasn’t for the fact StoneToss is an idiot and included his idiotic commentary via the description. Why make a good comic when you can make a shit comic, though? Oh! Is that the imaginary ding-ding of the toaster oven I hear?! StoneToss, I think your body pillow 14 year old waifu has more pizza rolls for you!!

Thanks for 70 episode of StoneToss Is An Idiot. I’ll see you red pills next time.

StoneToss: Episode 61

Liberals do need gun control. Liberals.

Comic Name: Trigger Happy
Description: Spray and pray.
Mouseover: Liberals do need gun control. Liberals.
Image Name: shoot-nazis-comic.png
Originally Published: 7/11/2019

What The Comic Is: A man holds aloft a sawed-off double-barreled shotgun while proclaiming that he has created a new gun that shoots only Nazis. A second man questions the gun, asking how the spread of its shots will be controlled. The first man, with a deranged smile, loads his gun.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Opposing Nazis is a slippery slope and eventually Antifa will start going after everyone/anyone in blind bids to claim that anyone they don’t like is a Nazi.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: The comic is being both literal and metaphorical with its gun. On one hand, on a physical level, StoneToss is suggesting that wanton violence towards people seen as being Nazis (i.e., “punch a Nazi”, “Hit Richard Spencer” etc.) will escalate by the deranged, terrorist-esque Antifa until eventually they’re just spraying bullets at anyone they consider to be an enemy. Obviously this has never happened and there’s literally nothing to support a serious belief that it will ever happen, but that’s StoneToss for you. 0% Smart, 100% Dishonest.

On a metaphorical level it’s making commentary that Antifa can’ and/or doesn’t want to control the “spread” of who and what is seen as fascism. As if opposing white supremacy and police brutality is a slippery slope. Like before, however, this is a baseless accusation that hadn’t happened in all of Antifa’s existence as a concept up to the comic’s writing and still has not happened yet. So the best the comic has to offer is “Antifa is going to go totally out of control! Any minute now!! Just watch… it’ll happen!! Any minute…!! SAWED OFF SHOTGUN1111“. Also, as usual, is the blatant and disgusting lack of self awareness for the constant shootings and violence perpetuated exclusively by the alt-right and those identifying with fascism. But yeah, StoneToss, you fucking cuck, it’s the liberals who need gun control because they’re totally going to go oFf ThE dEeP eNd. Any minute now. Fuck you.

Is punching terrorists self defense? hmm...

Comic Name: Radical Anomic Terror
Description: Antifa are terrorists. They seek to control your behavior through terror. Antifa. Are. Terrorists.
Mouseover: Is punching terrorists self-defense? hmmm…
Originally Published: 7/16/2019

What The Comic Is: An ISIS fighter prepares to execute a man via beheading, as the man cries for rescue. The ISIS fighter points to his Nazi-like Antifa armband, assuring that he is no terrorist. The man sighs in relief, even as the Antifa pajama fighter rests a blade against his throat.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Antifa are just like ISIS.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: StoneToss is sooooooooooooo fucking obsessed with Antifa murdering people despite the fact they’re attached to like a single fucking shooting. When some right-winger nutbag shoots up a convention center full of people it’s an Epstein and Jew World Order conspiracy theory. When Antifa does nothing at all, it’s because they’re totally about to become literally ISIS with Nazi armbands. I would once again label StoneToss as being dishonest, but I don’t know if this can even be called dishonesty. It’s complete fucking lunacy, and it’s something I noticed StoneToss really began to express around mid-2018 or so. His comics always fucking sucked, but it seems like as he got pushed more and more to be edgy and make le based spicy rare peepee commentary that he basically channeled his inner Donald Trump and began wildly outright lying about anything he thought would please his deranged fanbase (his “inner Donald Trump” of course being the 4-inch hand painted figurine of Trump that’s shoved so far into his prostate that he pisses vinyl).

The only other thing especially amusing about this comic is StoneToss’ limpdicked, babyish little “stand” he takes in the description, lol. Really channeling that “THIS IS NOT OKAY” liberal snowflake energy he so claims to be polar opposite of. Like every other dumbass Karen that plagues planet earth, StoneToss is too stupid to even realize his own pathetic hypocrisy.

StoneToss: Episode 52

Comic Name: Same Crap, Different Gay
Description: The new satanic panic.I’ve also updated the rewards on my supporter page, check it out! (another link to the defunct newproject2 website)
Image Name: dangerous_memes_comic.png
Originally Published: 3/19/2019

What The Comic Is: A balding boomer holds aloft a copy of classic first person shooter game DOOM, crying out that video games caused “the shooting”, this scene is labeled as “THEN”. In the second panel, a gay caricature holds out his phone with a Pepe meme on it, crying out that memes caused “the shooting”, this scene is labeled as “NOW”.
What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Online communities don’t promote violence.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: In the 90’s and early 00’s, video games being connected to violent shootings was the media norm. Doom, specifically, was implicated as being closely associated with the 1999 school shooting at Columbine High School in Colorado. The perpetrators of the shooting were both avid Doom fans, and unsupported legend claims they even created custom Doom maps designed after their school, in order to ‘practice’ the mass shooting. 

“Video games cause violence” has largely faded away from mainstream attention, left to fringe outrage groups that have no platform left to decry from. This is because numerous scientific studies and observations showed that, in the scheme of everything that influences a violent person, video games were a considerably small factor in violent behavior. Video games became much more normalized as entertainment outlets throughout the 90’s and early 00’s, shifting from something that was seen as a niche fan culture in the vein of comic books or DnD (both were also demonized in very similar fashion to video games) and into something much more mainstream. 

Memes are jokes on the internet. They can encompass a wide variety of subjects and culture, and are often the ‘front line’ of a given subculture’s group rhetoric and opinion. You can learn a lot about how a certain community feels/thinks by looking at the memes they make. This is, then, why a meme is not a video game and why StoneToss is a dumb asshole. 

Doom was a video game that was violent. Memes directly encouraging real violence are not akin to a video game that was violent. One is merely violent, the other encourages violence. Suffice to say that things would be a lot different if a video game called “JEWS TRY TO TAKE OVER AMERICA: KILL THEM ALL EDITION” was ever released and actively encouraged its players to commit real violence, it would be quickly condemned by everyone with a functioning brain for promoting violence. Only, oh wait, games like that totally do exist. And just like memes encouraging violence, they are unwelcome on most platforms and are pushed into fringe communities where they become increasingly obscure as time passes, their influence only touching those that were already specifically looking for them. 

It’s never really been about the comics themselves or the Dungeons and/or Dragons themselves or the video games themselves or the memes themselves; even the most pearl clutching of 90’s-era Boomer Karens didn’t really care about the medium that the supposed ‘violence promotion’ occurred in, it’s just about self-righteous witch hunting and drama stirring. Video games do not cause violence just like memes do not cause violence. But you know what does cause violence? Promoting violence and encouraging people to do it.

So yes, StoneToss, maybe it’s sort of the same when someone blindly claims a violent video game or a meme about a gun caused violence to happen. However, the difference is that Doom did not encourage its players to commit real violence on real people; racist pepe memes in a hatebox community full of people that unironically want to make each other commit violence, however, is something that causes violence.

Do StoneToss comics make you stupid? I dunno. They certainly won’t make you any smarter.

Comic Name: Crossing the Line
Description: Chain(saw) migration.
Like the comic? Support my work. (You know the drill. It was a link to newproject2.)
Mouseover: Separate along the dotted line.
Image Name: national-borders-comic1.png 
Originally Published: 3/21/2019

What The Comic Is: A man explains that borders are just imaginary lines. He tells the viewer to observe as he crosses from the USA into Mexico. Standing across the border, he explains that nothing has happened, though the very next panel shows him in a LiveLeak video about to be beheaded by a drug cartel. 
What StoneToss Actually Thinks: You get beheaded by a drug cartel if you go to Mexico, and that’s why we need a border wall.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: “Border walls are stupid, don’t work and aren’t even a financial possibility,” reality whispers in StoneToss’ ear. StoneToss scowls. It wasn’t fair. Why did brown people get to exist? Why did Trump’s deranged, unhinged and unfulfillable promises fail to come to fruition? It seemed so innocent back then, in the good ol’ days of 2015. Trump was going to build a wall. Mexico was going to pay for it. Countries have borders. was the most amazing porn site StoneToss had ever found. The last one was still true, StoneToss reassured himself, as he finished masturbating to yet another interracial porn video. Cleaning himself up with his own shirt, he leaned back on the stack of wooden palettes that he used as a makeshift chair (remember, StoneToss owns nothing because buying products is stupid and for communists) and thought to himself. “Border walls aren’t going to happen because (((Trump))) is a cuck,” StoneToss realized. “But how else can I complain about borders?“.

The idea struck him. He grinned a StoneTossian grin most grinningly. If he couldn’t whine and bitch about the border wall forever, he’d just remind the people why borders need to exist in the first place! Mexico has problems with cartel violence, right? Well, okay, so does the USA, but mostly only in (((((((CommunismFornia))))00)), if you ignore all the cartel presence that Texas has, at least. 

We can’t have people going into Mexico, they might get hurt by bad people. We should build a wall and have a strict border, to protect people for their own good. Liberty is only infringed upon if people who aren’t racist infringe upon it, after all. If StoneToss does it because he hates Mexicans, then it’s core Libertarianism. If we have a strict border, then that means the cartels and gangs in the US will cease to operate. They certainly won’t become even worse because closing the border was only a band aid on the systemic issues of why drug cartels and gangs exist to begin with (if you ask StoneToss, it’s because they’re brown people. If you ask anyone who isn’t a fucking idiot, it’s because of deeply ingrained socio-economic issues that aren’t fixed by borders).

The description of the comic is a reference to Chain Migration, a form of human movement defined by people of one community following a group of other people as they travel past, leading to a ‘chain’ of migrants that pick up more and more members as they continue on to wherever they’re migrating. This had been a hot topic for nearly half a decade at the time StoneToss made the comic, as conservatives were alarmed en masse about the large number of migrant ‘caravans’ migrating into the US from parts of South America. What in the world chain migration has to do with people from the USA going into Mexico and being murdered by cartels is literally anyone’s fucking guess.

I wonder what StoneToss has to say about all the LiveLeak footage of people committing mass shootings at places of worship, under political and personal beliefs that mirror his own. Oh yeah, probably nothing, because he’s an idiot and a fucking coward.

StoneToss: Episode 39

Comic Name: Build Big
Description: On the plus side, the Supreme Court is a good start.
Mouseover: tbh, we’re only suffering because we let the Daily Stormer fall first.
Image Name: right-wing-censorship-comic1.png
Originally Published: 10/30/20

What The Comic Is: A man in suit and tie complete with a Twitter emblem glued to his chest holds up a ‘BAN’ stamp, fresh with red ink. Smugly, he speaks to the viewer, telling them to make their own Twitter. In the second panel the same man, now with the Paypal logo glued to himself, holds the plug of a Gab server. Once again, he smugly tells the viewer that if they don’t like it, they can make their own payment processor. In the third panel, the man stands in front of a boarded over doors of “Hatreon” (assumedly a place to purchase or browse different hats). This time he smugly tells the viewer that if they don’t like it, they can build their own government. In the fourth panel, the man is wide-eyed with shock as a single bead of sweat drips down his head.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That bigots and alt-righters being “censored” by Twitter and cut off from PayPal and Patreon is what lead to Donald Trump winning the American presidency. 

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: At its heart this is a comic about StoneToss feeling as if the alt-right was disenfranchised by society (or most of society’s major social media and payment platforms, such as Twitter/PayPal/Patreon). For those who don’t know, “Gab”, as featured in the second panel of the comic, is an alt-righter social media platform for anti-Semites, trans/homophobes, racists and general bigoted “free thinkers”. StoneToss blames what he feels is the ‘oppressive PC left’ banning/taking away the financial livelihood of people on the right, to the point where the “silent majority” (lol) of the right all rise up and put Trump in office.

The comic has a deeper relevancy than this, however. Published at the ass end of October 2018, the comic is actually a response to Gab being dropped by PayPal (as well as its hosting provider and other payment processors) in the wake of the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting, a mass shooting that occurred at the Tree of Life – Or L’Simcha Congregation, a Jewish synagogue, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Robert Gregory Bowers entered the synagogue on October 27th 2018, murdering eleven people and injuring seven more in what would become the deadliest attack on the Jewish community of all time (er, in the USA, at least). Bowers was very active on Gab, which supported and promoted his and other’s stances in anti-Semitic and ‘white genocide’ theories. Following the immediate aftermath of the attack is when Gab was dropped by its benefactors, who decided it was probably a good idea to stop facilitating the existence of a social media website that was rejoicing the mass shooting of a Jewish community. Only days after this, StoneToss makes a comic whining about PayPal dropping Gab. Wow, I wonder why oppressive left-tard snowflake libcuck PayPal wouldn’t want to support a website like Gab.

It seems as if StoneToss really and truly believed (believes?) that Trump’s government was (is??) anti-Semitic. At any rate, StoneToss is an idiot and Gab is an alt-right shithole and this comic sucks. There is no silent majority of disgruntled Gab users that put Trump into office or who will build their own government like Hitler did after Hitler was ‘disenfranchised’ by (((them))), or whatever inane bullshit StoneToss thinks. The takeaway from this is that if you don’t want PayPal to pull the plug on your social media platform, don’t cultivate a hotbed of hatred and violence. This is easy for most people to not do, but guys like StoneToss seem to have a super, super hard time with it. I wonder why…

Comic Name: Triggered
Description: You gotta go back.
Mouseover: The Golden (calf) State
Image Name: california-immigration-comic1.png
Originally Published: 11/6/2018

What The Comic Is: A border vigilante stops a group of men at gunpoint, telling them to turn around and stop invading his culture. One of the men from the group speaks up, telling the vigilante that they’re from the USA. The vigilante asks where specifically they’re from, and the man answers with ‘California’. The vigilante, with an empty, deranged look, opens fire on the unarmed men who were surrendering to him.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Stupid joke about California.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Most people are familiar with the biblical tale of Moses. Moses is born in Egypt, God tells him to free his people from the Egyptians. Moses and his crew escape across the sea when Moses parts the waters with God’s breath. Sometimes the story continues a bit further to their travels across the desert to find their ‘promised land’, and ends with Moses climbing the hill and receiving God’s ten commandments. For the majority of people, this is the extent of the tale they’re aware of, though there’s a bit more to the Moses story, such as how upon his descent from the mountain he immediately discovers a group of his roadies have started worshipping a golden cow (sometimes a calf; major distinction, I know). The problem here isn’t that they somehow found a golden cow in the fucking desert, but rather that they are worshipping it, which is a total no-no according to God (worship of false idols and all). What befalls these cow worshippers varies depending on how old or child-friendly your version of the story is. Sometimes they’re just scolded, other times flogged. Most traditionally they’re forced to drink the cow once it’s been melted down, which I guess is pretty metal.

Anyways, StoneToss is likening the state of California to the golden calf of Moses. What does this mean? Absolutely fucking nothing. What does StoneToss think it means? California is highly valued by leftist Americans as a liberal stronghold. Conversely, it’s strongly hated by the right. StoneToss compares it to the golden cow as a way of comparing liberals and leftists to the false idol worshippers. If California is the false idol, then what state is God in this metaphor? Fucking Kentucky? As this blog has explored before, it seems StoneToss may be more religious than he normally tends to let on, if he felt shoehorning in a reference to the golden calf of Moses was relevant or necessary in any way to this at all.

Obviously the comic is just saying that California has become “basically Mexico” with its liberal treatment of undocumented people, to the point it’s even worse and more problematic of Mexico. The vigilante, after all, was willing to warn the men off when he believed they were from Mexico, but fired wildly on them when they said they were actually from California. StoneToss woke up the morning he drew this comic with a choice: draw something stupid or draw something not stupid. He chose the former.

StoneToss: Episode 29

Comic Name: By Any Other Name
Description: Noticing patterns.
Mouseover: Reminder that pollen is plant skeet, and your girlfriend gets covered in it when she sniffs the flowers you bought her.
Originally Published: 4/3/2018

What The Comic Is: Two roses sit in a field, surrounded by a second type of flower. There are no other roses left. One rose cautions the other that the term “invasive species” is a rose supremacist dog whistle.
What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That it’s strange we refer to invasive plants and animals as “invasive species”, but not to humans who are “invasive” into other countries.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: So the purple flowers in the comic appear to be Purple Loosestrife, an invasive flower species that is spreading in parts of North America. It’s important to note that there is a distinction between a non-native species and a species that is invasive. All invasive species are non-native, but not all non-native species are invasive. 

What makes a non-native species an invasive one? The simple answer is that they somehow extraordinarily harm the native environment they’re invasive to. This can be naturally (killing or harming native species of animal or plant) or economically (causing monetary loss to the humans living in the environment, such as by growing out of control and ruining roads and other infrastructure). For instance, apples are not native to anywhere in the world outside of central Europe, however they are not an invasive species in the areas where they are now grown across the world. Though apple trees can potentially kill native plant species as they compete for resources, they don’t do so on a scale that is significant enough to impact native life, as they are not suited to unfairly outcompete native lifeforms.
On the other hand, the Purple Loosestrife flower kills hundreds of acres of native flower and plant life every year, due to a pollination window that is much larger than any other native plant. Longer pollination window = more plant sex = more germinated seeds = more Loosestrife = outnumbers and outcompetes native species. 

It’s all simple plant sex biology, really. But hey, you wanna know what doesn’t involve plant sex or invasive species? Human fucking beings. The majority of, say, Mexican immigrants to America are hard working people who contribute to their society, even when they are exploited as cheap labor. Funny enough, there is no “Mexican fuck window” that lasts longer than native USAians (who were the Native Americans, by the by) that enables them to outnumber and outcompete the “native species” in the USA (which doesn’t make sense, as all humans are the same species, anyways. So we can’t have ‘invasive species’ of humans, unless you want to make the uncreative comment that aLl hUmAnS aRe InVaSiVe111!!). 

StoneToss is trying to highlight some sort of hypocrisy he thinks exists where we call an invasive flower species “invasive”, but we don’t call a a “human species” invasive; to infer that PC culture stops us from calling non-whites “invasive species” even as they… steal all the sunlight and nitrogen in the soil? Or whatever it is that StoneToss thinks Mexicans do. Even as the two roses are outnumbered and threatened by the Loosestrife, the one still reminds that referring to the Loosestrife as what it is (an invasive species), is racist. Just like in real life!! The Mexicans are ruining Amurica and if you call them out for it then people think you’re racist, even as they themselves are wiped out by the loco Chicanos. 

Funny enough, Mexican and black people aren’t flowers or animals and therefore aren’t harmful to the native ecosystems of any other area on earth. Because no, StoneToss, the neighborhood/state you desperately don’t want colored people to move into and start families in is not an ecosystem, you racist, xenophobic dumbfuck. Also, “invasive species” is a scientific term recognized as legitimate and with unbiased definition, so no flower would call it a dog whistle, even if they could communicate. Unlike actual racist dog whistles, which are not scientific or unbiased and are only employed by people who are invasive species to humanity’s collective intelligent thought. People like StoneToss, for instance!

Comic Name: Gun “Free”
Description: Lefties can’t even obey gendered bathroom signs, why would they think folks would bother with “gun free” signs?
Mouseover: >when your head office gets demonitized
Originally Published: 2/5/2018

What The Comic Is: YouTube’s Headquarters is pictured “before”; a sign reading Gun Free Zone stands in front of the building. In the second panel, “after”, the same sign stands as the building is wrapped in police tape and armed SWAT and Police Officers stand in front of each other.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Gun control doesn’t do anything.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: On April 3rd, 2018, 38 year old Nasim Najafi Aghdam entered the YouTube headquarters building in San Bruno California. Entering through an an exterior parking garage, Aghdam used an automatic pistol to wound three people. She then took her own life. 

This comic was published two days after this shooting took place, obviously in reference to it (the building, as can be seen from the sign, is YouTube’s HQ). YouTube was a ‘gun free’ zone, something that gun activists were quick to jump on in the wake of the shooting.

This goes back into topics already discussed in previous posts on this blog, but many gun activists are staunch supporters of the notion that “good guys with guns stop bad guys with guns” and that “gun free zones only protect criminals”. Never mind that it has been proven many times that armed citizens rarely stop gun violence. Never mind that Ahgdam entered the building in a vulnerable entry spot that was overlooked by security, thus making the attack a security issue and not a “we didn’t have guns to stop the person with a gun” issue. Yeah, let’s never mind those facts. If we actually minded them, then this stupid tragedy-exploiting comic would be incredibly fucking dumb and in even worse taste than it already is. We don’t want that, do we? DOOOO WEEE??

Isn’t it so IRONIC (it isn’t) that YouTube was gun free but then there are GUNS from the POLICE AND SWAT GUYS? Isn’t it SO IRONIC that crime is committed even though it’s ILLEGAL TO COMMIT CRIME? What could have possibly stopped this crime? Could it be better mental health infrastructure? Better wages for minimum income earners? Overall more money put towards improving livelihoods and financial prospects for all citizens? No, because then black and brown people would benefit! The answer has to be the most logical and fail-safe: SHEER ESCALATION OF FORCE111 Which has always been proven to work, for the record (lol no it hasn’t).

StoneToss and others try to argue that YouTube HQ’s gun free policy lead to this shooting, but funny enough it needs to be reiterated that Ahgdam exploited a flaw in the building’s security via entering into it from an external parking garage. She did not enter the building through main doorways or pass any security. Again, this tragedy was one of security flaw and not because everyone in the YouTube HQ wasn’t packing heat and turned a lone gunman incident into a bullet storm of confusion and further destruction. 
Here’s a hot take: StoneToss should put a sign in front of his head that says “Brain Free Zone” lmaos

StoneToss: Episode 28

Comic Name: Wetwork
Description: Today’s comic was contributed as a suggestion from the very talented HeheSilly Comics. You can check out her Gab here, and her twitter page (run by a fan) here.
Mouseover: Guns don’t kill people, coat hangers kill people.
Originally Published: 3/22/2018

What The Comic Is: A woman holds a sign, obscured by her talk bubble. She explains that banning abortion would merely result in people seeking abortions in an unsafe and illegal way. She then questions the man she’s speaking with, wondering why he asked. In the third panel, her sign is revealed to read “BAN GUNS”.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That abortions are guns. 

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: HeHeSilly Comics appears to be an irregularly updated comic by someone who is a bizarre mixture of the “very le random aesthetic” that is normally reserved for hyper-liberal Tumblrites mixed with raging pro-Trump anti-leftist sentiment. Imagine if StoneToss comics were even more basic, slightly less openly bigoted and instead of tracing Shmorky he traced anything you’d find on r/comics. That’s HeHeSilly Comics. Just in case you were wondering if anyone who likes StoneToss’s comics was any smarter than StoneToss himself, well, it turns out: They Fucking Aren’t!

This comic is very reminiscent of an earlier comic featured on this blog, in which StoneToss, in his infinite wisdom and mental prowess, compared guns to weed. Not one to let their laughable stupidity be called into challenge, the heroic HeHeSilly Comics rushed in, casually bumping StoneToss to the side. It was time to show this amateur how a real idiot makes ridiculous comparisons that don’t make any sense. Whispering into StoneToss’s ear like the serpent to Eve, HeHeSilly Comics imparted their vision. StoneToss’s eyes set like marble blocks. His jaw hung slightly agape. The taste of salt kissed his lip from the lone tear that ran from his eye. His penis stiffened from the confines of his unwashed gym shorts. It was too good. Why hadn’t he thought of it? How had this “HeHeSilly Comics” come up with something so intricate and yet so simple in its sheer idiocy? It should have been his. It would be his. 

“Hehe,” StoneToss feigned a laugh. “Yeah, that’s, er, that’s a really silly idea.”

“I know,” HeHeSilly Comics gloated, as she reached her hand into her pants to pull out a fistful of her own feces. Popping it into her mouth, she chewed away in triumph. 

HeHeSilly Comics turned away, hands on hips, soaking in their ego as they swallowed a mouthful of turd. StoneToss gripped hard on his stylus as he made to sit down as his tablet. He spared a single swift glance to make sure that HeHeSilly Comics was still ripe to be caught unawares. In one motion, his stylus flew through the air like a bullet, catching HeHeSilly Comics hard in the temple of their cranium. HeHeSilly Comics fell hard to the ground, making no attempt to break their fall. They were dead.

And then StoneToss made this shitty comic.

Look, this might really shock HeHeShitty Comics and StoneToss, but guns are not abortions. The issue with getting an abortion when it’s illegal and getting a gun when it’s illegal are entirely different issues. As you may well know, a popular pro-abortion argument is that, without legal means to seek abortion, women will undergo ‘underground abortions’, terminating their pregnancy in questionable or outright dangerous medical procedures or attempting to induce miscarriage through drug use. This is a human health issue. It is completely impossible to compare to the argument that “if guns weren’t legal, people would just get them illegally, anyways“. It’s literally two entirely different problems. 

You know, if StoneToss and his dumbass friends have really good arguments for gun control (for real), then why the fuck do all of these comics suck? Is false equivalency between firearms and coat hangers the best they can come up with? Maybe StoneToss is just envious. If he has to carry all of his shitty ideas to term and turn them into webcomics, then maybe everyone has to carry to term?

Comic Name: Educa-shun
Description: You don’t need the necronomicon to attain forbidden knowledge.
Mouseover: Around urban youths never relax.
Originally Published: 3/27/2018

What The Comic Is: A man fingers another man, demanding self-education. After his fingering, the man reads from a book. In the final panel, with a worried expression on the man’s face, it is revealed the title of the book is “FBI CRIME STATISTICS”.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Disproportionate police action and arrest against black Americans is an accurate reflection of the rate crime is committed by all skin colors, and that the USA’s oppressive systemic racism has nothing to do with crime. 

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: This would be one of the first times StoneToss cites crime statistics. A normal white supremacist talking point are the “13/50” and “13/90” ratios that cite that 13% of the population (black), commit 50% of crime or 90% of murder/homicide. Whether this statistic is even true or not is very debatable, but even if blacks commit a larger percentage of crimes despite their population size, the question is: Why?

“That’s easy!” StoneToss laughs. “It’s because they’re naturally inclined to violence and their IQs are lower. It just makes sense. If you’re an idiot.” 

Yeah, let’s ignore the hundreds of years of systemic oppression that is baked into the very foundation of the USA as a country, something that still persists to this day. Let’s ignore the generational poverty many blacks have been stuck in for the last one hundred and a half years or so. Let’s also ignore that there are simply not nearly as many white communities in this country that are as impoverished and lacking of advantage as there are black communities, so even trying to find fair comparisons is literally impossible. Let’s ignore studies that show when financial and living situations improve, crime goes down at the same rate among all communities across the country. Nah, it’s just because black people listen to rap and don’t have fathers and deal drugs and have low IQs and own pit bulls and fuck StoneToss’s wife while he watches at the foot of the bed on his kne-OH SHIT STONETOSS YOU ACCIDENTALLY DEVELOPED AN INTERACIAL CUCKOLD FETISH WITH YOUR NON-EXISTENT FEMALE LOVE COMPANION AGAIN, GO BACK MAN GO BACK GO BACK GO BACK. 

What’s funniest about this comic is, like usual, it makes an actual point; that crime statistics in the USA are disproportionate. Most people would think “maybe the answer is that black people have been historically disadvantaged in this country”, but StoneToss doesn’t like that. If his race isn’t the best race, then what else does he have going for him??? His Shmorky art???? No. It has to be that black people are naturally inferior. After all, it’s what the Nazis believed, and StoneToss says he isn’t a Nazi. So it makes sense he believes the same thing the Nazis believed, because that’s how not Nazi StoneToss is.
I have a ratio I like to call the 1/100 ratio. 1 man makes 100% of StoneToss’s shitty webcomics. If black people supposedly have low IQs because of genetics, then what the fuck is StoneToss’s excuse for himself?
Oh yeah, and if StoneToss’s incredible nuance went above your head at all, the mouseover of the comic is a reference to the racist “Around blacks, never relax” motto (that doesn’t even really fucking rhyme). StoneToss IQ good. Black people IQ bad. Oog oog.

StoneToss: Episode 25

Comic Name: Chick-Fil-Ayy
Description: Fun fact, Chick-Fil-A earns more revenue per restaurant than any other fast food chain. Source.
Mouseover: More like Chick-Kill-Gays amiright? hyuck hyuck huck.
Image Name: chick-fil-a-comic.png
Originally Published: 2/20/2018

What The Comic Is: A gay man enters a restaurant and attempts to order a homosexual cake. The Scout from Valve’s Team Fortress 2 informs the man that the establishment is a Chick-Fil-A, apologizing for its lack of a bakery. The Scout suggests the man could order some religious chicken, to which the man recoils in shock, angered that the religious chicken is being forced on him.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That it’s hypocritical to demand a bakery owner bake a cake for a gay wedding while also demanding a fast food restaurant not flaunt religious ethics towards its customers.
Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Businesses are not people. But StoneToss seems to possess emotional and mental stunts that prevent him from relating to anyone but himself, so I guess it’s not a surprise that he made a comic as stupid as this one. 

Chick-Fil-A is a franchise chain of fast food sandwich restaurants across the USA that has slowly begun going international in recent years. It’s a chain that is popular for its fried chicken sandwiches and also a company that is infamous for the hot water it sometimes lands in when it comes to LBGTQ+ rights. A chicken sandwich is the last thing you might think could possibly be the center piece to a homophobic business agenda, but here we are. The late owner and founder of Chick-Fil-A, S. Truett Cathy, was a Southern Baptist in the state of Georgia. Of his three children, his son Dan Cathy would lead the Chick-Fil-A empire upon Truett’s retirement and subsequent passing in 2013 and 2014 respectively. 

Truett’s position on homosexuality seems a bit obscure. It doesn’t seem like Chick-Fil-A had a history of donations to anti-LGBTQ+ establishments until 2014, when Dan, the son, assumed control of company. We can assume Truett, despite his philanthropy work, was probably not totally tolerant of homosexuals or gay marriage, but it was Dan who took that to publicly transparent overdrive. Dan has gone on record to speak out against gay marriage and spoken positively of conversion therapy. Since 2014, and only (for the moment) ending with 2020, Chick-Fil-A has donated millions to organizations that openly supported conversion therapy or worked to fight against gay marriage. 

See, no one really cared that Chick-Fil-A closed on Sundays to obey the Christian sabbath or even that they preferred to hire religious employees. Funny enough, they did start to give a shit when Chick-Fil-A’s CEO was singing the praises of conversion therapy, donating money to organizations that support it and speaking out against gay marriage. Because it’s not about religion. It’s about Dan Cathy being a homophobic shithead and harming homosexuals across the country.

If Dan Cathy wants to be homophobic in his own home and keep it to himself, really that’s fucking fine. Okay, well, maybe it’s far from appreciated, but as long as he’s separating bigotry and business then at least we don’t have to deal with his bullshit. See, no one really cares if some guy in Georgia doesn’t like gay marriage or thinks conversion therapy works. Again, it’s not appreciated, but people have too much other stuff to worry about for it to really be a big deal to them. That changes when people want to take their homophobic feelings and start conversion therapy camps or make marriage between two men or two women illegal. Dan is using his company, that the free public support and keep funded, to use money we the people paid to him to donate to homophobic causes. Businesses are not people. A baker can be homophobic all he wants, but he can not discriminate who he provides business to. America is the land of the free, but businesses have fucking rules, because the only way America stays free is if rich bigots aren’t allowed to suppress vulnerable minorities through exclusion. 

No one fucking cares about Christian chicken. No one thinks Chick-Fil-A forces Christianity on anyone. They care about conversion therapy being funded by a bigoted CEO who hates the thought of gay people having the same rights as everyone else. But, you know, StoneToss completely misses this mark. Whether it’s because of intentional underhandedness in an attempt to paint a skewed argument or just genuine stupidity is, as always, up for debate.

Comic Name: High Horse
Description: Am I the only one that remembers the Prohibition?
Mouseover: More like Stoned Toss, amiright? (but seriously kids, don’t do drugs) 
Image Name: gun-ban-comic.png
Originally Published: 2/22/2018

What The Comic Is: A primly dressed and groomed student explains to a stoned classmate that a gun ban would keep guns out of schools.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Marijuana and alcohol being illegal never stopped people from obtaining and using them, or kept them out of schools.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: First of all, weed doesn’t kill people. Neither does alcohol, or at least directly (if one chooses to count fatal alcohol consumption/death related to alcoholism or alcohol consumption as ‘death by booze’). Guns, however, only do a single thing: kill stuff. Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s talk about guns and schools. 

This is obviously a comic concerning mass shootings that take place at schools, and the argument that a gun ban would prevent such mass shootings from taking place. This has been talked about on this blog before, as StoneToss is no stranger to Second Amendment commentary, so I won’t go on too much about that. The crux of the comic is that “gun control would never work, just like drug and alcohol bans”, which is a beyond stupid fucking argument. Weed and beer aren’t a gun. Weed and beer don’t have serial numbers. Guns can’t be picked up with a fake ID at a gas station or from your older brother’s friend. The point being made here is that guns are inherently harder to get to begin with, let alone with actual control checks in place. Plus, funny enough, bans on drugs and alcohol in schools do a really good job of, you know, keeping them out of school?

Further than that, however, is the issue of what types of guns are being brought into schools. This extends into greater gun control issues as a whole, but generally people are against the personal ownership of powerful automatic rifles that posses the rate of fire and ammunition capacity to continuously fire into a crowd of people. This gets into a whole argument about whether or not people need these types of rifles, or erroneous arguments where one might argue that we shouldn’t need super fast cars if cars that go 60 miles an hour are ‘good enough’ (which is an often-used and always stupid argument for automatic rifles).
In natural StoneToss form, he has to create a strawman for his comic, but he also doesn’t even offer any real alternative for guns in schools. If we humor the argument that gun control does not work, then what do we do about school shootings? StoneToss seemingly is a proponent of “everyone has guns and good guys stop bad guys with guns” based on his comics in the past, so is his solution that we should arm every student? He doesn’t even propose a solution in this comic, let alone allude to even having one; but given that StoneToss believes that school shootings are staged with crisis actors by the deep state I think we can go ahead and write this off as just being a stupid, shitty comic that StoneToss made without thinking about what he was actually trying to say.

StoneToss: Episode 17

Ever notice that, despite the abundance of guns, there's never a violent shooting at a gun show?

Comic Name: Gun Mettle
Description: Draw.
Mouseover: Ever notice that, despite the abundance of guns, there’s never a violent shooting at a gun show?
Image Name: gun-ownership-comic.png
Originally Published: 11/7/2019

What The Comic Is: A nude man stands over the fallen body of a ‘bad guy’ (you know he’s bad because he’s wearing black, which is da worst skin color ever111!!! to StoneToss). The nude man offers the advice that the bad guy, now dead, should try a gun-free state.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: If everyone has a gun, no one can commit gun violence and that “the only thing that stops a ‘bad guy’ with a gun is a ‘good guy’ with a gun”.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Wowee wow folks, the first StoneToss upload to include an actual description. I no longer have to type “N/A” every god damned time. Thank you, StoneToss, for recognizing that there was yet another avenue of text to expose your bigoted dumbassery to the world.

But I digress a bit in my celebration. What we have here today is another very simple two-panel strip much akin to the previous “White Lie” strip. I like how even StoneToss thought to himself that directly copypasting a panel twice with no alterations at all was going too far, even for him, so he quickly makes the tumbleweed in the background roll in another direction; but because the tumbleweed is traveling left in the first panel and then right in the second, it’s as if they’re standing in a place where the wind is constantly shifting directions at a second’s notice. Or maybe they’re standing between two industrial sized fans that constantly blow one way or the other. Or maybe StoneToss is a lazy fuck. I dunno. How ironic that the description of the comic is “Draw”, when StoneToss did as little of that as possible!

Okay but anyways, this comic itself doesn’t hold much of a message. It’s just a stupid gun-nut power fantasy where tHe GoOd GuY wItH a GuN sToPs ThE bAd GuY. It can also be taken as a surrealist absurd art piece on the nature of the human mind to ironically give advice to a corpse. Well, no, it actually can’t be that because that would mean StoneToss put two seconds of thought into this piece of shit before he drew it.

StoneToss expresses pro-gun feelings from time to time in his work but something about most of the strips always seem so, I dunno. Phoned in to me, like he’s only giving pro-gun rhetoric a sort of token nod. This comic in particular is just so lazy, from the copypasting to the ‘joke’. It lacks the idiotic nuance and racist humor of your typical StoneToss work. It feels less like a StoneToss comic and more like the Proof Of Concept sketch for the world’s shittiest NRA t-shirt (which would, naturally, be in a constant state of Sold Out on Amazon).

But we can muse on the potential legitimacy of StoneToss’s pro-gun feelings all day. For now I want to point out that the comic’s description is in reference to a tired pro-gun talking point that “guns don’t kill people, people kill people”, since no one has ever been violently shot at a gun show before. Even if we don’t count the high number of accidental shootings that occur at gun shows all the time (as StoneToss does, because it harms his stupid point, so he’s careful to specify ‘violent‘ shootings at gun shows), it’s worth pointing out that saying “no violent shootings ever occur at gun shows!” is textbook cherry picking. Sure, there’s rarely news of a violent shooting at gun shows but there’s been plenty of them in other ‘highly armed’ areas.

In 2013 Eddie Ray Routh shot and killed two men at a Texas gun range. One of the victims was Chris Kyle, military veteran and Navy Seal, author of ‘American Sniper‘; also the posthumous subject of the Clint Eastwood film of the same name. Basically, despite any faults you may want to apply to the man (such as having two first names), Chris Kyle was about as qualified as someone could possibly be for ‘dealing with’ a violent gunman. And yet he was murdered along with his friend, both of them armed and in the middle of a gun range in Texas.

In 2009 Marie Moore took her adult son to a shooting range in Florida, where she shot him to death in a schizophrenic episode. After shooting her son, she turned the gun on herself and committed murder-suicide. The kicker is that a man, uninvolved with Marie or her son, witnessed the shooting. His reaction was to back away to a wall, shouting after Marie murdered her son. He didn’t shoot her. He didn’t tackle her. He did what most people do whether they have a gun or not; he panicked.

Just this year Christopher Washington shot and killed Mitchell Bab on an Oklahoma gun range in the city of Tulsa before attempting to end his own life. With a nearly 15 per 100,000 murder rate, Tulsa has one of the highest gun-related homicide rates in the USA.

What do these three examples have in common? They all happened in very pro-gun southern states and they all happened on shooting ranges where the victims (or those directly witnessing the murders) were brandishing guns at the time. Oh, sure, there’s a lot more that goes into the murders, at least most of the time. Maybe Eddie Ray Routh didn’t murder Chris Kyle and his friend until no one else was around and the victims had their backs turned. Marie Moore might have shot her son while an armed man was right beside her, but you can write that one off as a rare “nutcase” shooting. So one could try arguing that shootings only typically happen in micro-moments where a victim isn’t likely to shoot back. Alright, fair enough, but the same thing can happen at a gun show. A vendor can turn his back, his stall several feet away from anyone else, before he’s murdered in a quick hit-and-run. A shooter can detonate explosive to cause panic as they try to gun down as many as they can.

It’s not a question of “Haven’t you ever noticed a mass shooting hasn’t happened at a gun show yet?”, it’s a question of “When will the first mass shooting happen at a gun show?”. We may as well sit around and try questioning why a mass shooting hasn’t occurred at a swimming pool or a fursuit convention. There’s nothing stopping someone from shooting innocent people at any of these places, which makes the ‘argument’ that a mass shooting hasn’t occurred at a gun show just the same as the ‘argument’ that a mass shooting hasn’t occurred literally anywhere else: Wishful thinking coated by a thin veneer of pure luck that can’t last forever.

When domain registrars can seize your website name, a slightly higher internet bill doesn't seem that bad.

Comic Name: Net Partiality
Description: N/A
|Mouseover: When domain registrars can seize your website name, a slightly higher internet bill doesn’t seem that bad.
Image Name: net-neutrality-comic.png
Originally Published: 9/28/2019

What the Comic Is: A man approaches a bystander, asking if the latter has time to speak on the issue of net neutrality. The bystander brings up the issue of  ‘censoring’ right-wingers and conservatives across social media, causing the man to 180 and walk quickly away.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That he’s clever for putting the Reddit alien on the man’s t-shirt as a metaphor for the man being Reddit.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Whew. Alright. That last strip was kind of a lot to unpack. Probably the longest commentary I’ve ever written on StoneToss (yet!). Following the publishing of the last comic, StoneToss himself seemed to exhaust his creative juices (well, with StoneToss it’s more like a psuedo-creative sort of thick slime that collects and pools on the bottom of his skull) concerning politically charged stances and instead opted to draw several non-political ‘normal’ joke strips (all of which that aren’t half-bad and are glimpses into the universe where StoneToss sticks to casual normie humor instead of creating soft core brain porn for neo-Nazis). But, just as a bird must fly and a plant must grow, so too must StoneToss make dumbass political messages rife with bigotry and stupidity.

Which brings us to the above strip. The comic was published in November of 2017, when the most recent ‘net neutrality’ issue was plaguing half the websites you visited, be it spammed on Reddit or displayed as a temporary banner warning over every video game forum or hentai website you frequented at the time. Ajit Pai was the internet enemy numero uno and for a brief second everyone on the World Wide Depravitybox all agreed that the USA government, or ISPs, had no hand in dictating how they can charge people for internet use.

Anyways, this comic is just StoneToss whining about how right-wingers were being banned for promoting violence or peddling conspiracy theories or general hate speech. He attempts to compare it to net neutrality so as to highlight a perceived “hypocrisy” from liberals who support the notion of net neutrality but don’t support “freedom of speech” if it’s coming from right of the aisle.

No one is censoring right-wingers. Right-wingers get themselves in trouble for tweeting racist stuff. StoneToss tries to make the man in the le Reddit shirt look like a fool by having him immediately disengage with the guy defending the ‘censorship’ of right-wingers on social media; but therein lies the delicious humor of StoneToss’ silly, hate-filled existence, as immediately disengaging with people like that is pretty much what you should do. So he unwittingly, once again, creates a comic that can easily be viewed as supporting the notion he’s trying to oppose. HAhahahahaaHAHahha, oh StoneToss, you dumb bitch.