StoneToss: Episode 33

Comic Name: Alphabet Soup
Description: Happy ongoing pride month, guys.
Mouseover: you could also add the letters: H. I. V.
Image Name: lgbt-comic.png
Originally Published: 6/19/2018

What The Comic Is: The letters ‘LGB’ float over stereotypical caricatures of homosexual men and women. The letter ‘T’ floats over an offensive caricature of a trans woman, as the letter ‘Q’ floats above a tattooed guy with several piercings. The letter “F” floats above a man in a fursuit that has a hole for his mouth, but seemingly none for his eyes. Finally, the letter ‘D’ floats above a drag queen. 

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Once again, that homosexuality is a slippery slope, that being a furry is comparable to bestiality and that drag queens are evil. 

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: The drag queen in the last panel goes by the name “Xochi Mochi”. In 2018, they dressed in rather odd costume for a drag queen reading hour at a library. Details of the specific reading hour are sketchy to find, but it seems that some of the children in attendance to the reading were also in costume, suggesting it was a costumed event (which explains Mochi’s outfit, which is admittedly pretty extravagant even by drag queen standards). Anyways, bigots hate people different from them and there’s no short supply of their bitching and moaning concerning the mere existence of drag queens; to say nothing of what they say when drag queens are visible to children. Children seeing something that exists and isn’t in the bible? Perish the thought.

When Mochi did their reading hour in their ‘demon’ costume, it didn’t take long for religious bigots to pick up on it and begin their self-righteous bitchfits. StoneToss doesn’t usually express any religious feelings in his comics, though he must at least be in the orbit of deranged religious news media, as he picked up rather quickly on this obscure non-story. Aside from the obvious “homosexuality is a slippery slope” bullshit, it’s worth pointing out that StoneToss may be a bit of a Christian nut himself. The “2+2 = 6.66” poster in the background of the last panel is obviously a reference to ‘666’ (sign of the beast, number of Satan, etc), along with his depiction as Mochi being an actual demon. Christian ‘news’ outlets, in a display of being completely detached from reality, were swift to decry Mochi as being literally a Satanist demon worshipper. (So not only does ‘D’ stand for ‘Drag’, but also DEMON1111 omfg stonetoss how smart).
The poster reading an incorrect answer to a math problem is also probably a reference to the phrase “2 + 2 = 5“, a phrase generally used to mock anti-intellectualism found in society or politics (it was notably used in the Orwell novel Nineteen Eighty-Four). StoneToss is basically saying that drag queens, and society’s acceptance of them and their proximity to children, is the equivalency of a “2 + 2 = 5”; that society has fundamentally failed on a base logical level and has replaced hard truths with “big brother” constructed lies. 
Caricatures of Mochi would become a stand-in for StoneToss to mock and disparage drag queens in the future. The name of the comic is a reference to “alphabet soup”, an insult used against the LGBTQ+ label (that all the letters are like ‘alphabet soup’, and people identifying as non-cis are ‘alphabet people’). The description is a reference to StoneToss suggesting that pride month is ‘taking over’ and ‘every month is going to become pride month’ because having to show basic tolerance and acceptance for homosexuals for any amount of time, let alone at all times, is insufferable to StoneToss. The mouseover text is a brainless jab at “gay people have STIs”, a common stereotype used against homosexual men and their communities in particular.
Notice also the very subtle way StoneToss draws the lesbian’s breasts as saggy. Only straight (white) women who don’t have sex before marriage have shapely breasts. It is well known, to scientists of fact and logic, that the second a woman breaches traditional patriarchal values that God makes her tits sag. 

Comic Name: Cyber-spunk
Description: In the year 2070: 
Mouseover: State enforced homosexuality
Image Name: cyberpunk-gay-comic1.png 
Originally Published: 6/21/2018

What The Comic Is: A man eats the severed penis of a dog while pondering the role of the government in the governance of social issues. The dog penis salesman challenges this, and explains that without the state, there would be no one to build roads. The man facepalms, realizing the salesman is right. 

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: The government isn’t necessary and all it does is force people to be gay and trans.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: StoneToss has complained about how he thinks the government is useless before. He doesn’t like taxes, and he really hates anything taxes pay for or that the government does. Classic anti-tax arguments are that we should privatize everything the government currently provides. As in, a private company bids on and builds infrastructure such as roads. Exactly who pays these companies for their work is a question StoneToss seemingly can’t even answer himself, as his solution is to mock strawmen rather than actually answer the question that his own fucking comic asks. But anyways, this is just another boiler plate “GOVERNMENT BAD” comic, with the addition of some more random transphobia. Immediately off the back of the last comic, in this comic StoneToss is equating a drag queen reading to kids as “the government telling kids to be trans”. How StoneToss’ brain makes such a wild fucking connection is pretty much anyone’s guess, but then perhaps it would be one’s fault for assuming StoneToss bothers to use his brain in the first place.

The comic also uses the term “Globo-homo”, a short lived (and profoundly shitty) alt-right slang word for “Globalist Homosexuals” (homosexuals  in this context normally meaning the Jews, who are apparently also gay). As a slang word, “Globo-homo” is not at all catchy to say. Globosexual sounds a little better, but then people would think you’re talking about wanting to fuck the earth, instead of some dumb convoluted bullshit where Jews are gay and gays are globalist.
Also, check out that blimp reading ‘HAPPY CONSECUTIVE PRIDE MONTH’. The globosexuals are going to make us recognize the basic validity of people who are gay oh god oh no oh god oh no this is the death of America and the rise of a tyrannical government that erases straight white people by showing acceptance towards homosexuals and also they build roads using GAY CONCRETE that was produced by the globalist jews in their gay concrete factories at the center of the earth on the moon.

e))) is behind making it illegal to be a racist bigot- er, I mean, commit Orwellian thought-crimes.

Oi, StoneToss, you got a loicense for that empty fucking skull, mate?

StoneToss: Episode 32

You may have already noticed that I missed Thursday’s upload. My excuse for this was I used the time I normally had for writing a blog post and used it to try and visually revamp my blog a bit. However, Blogger (the site the blog runs on) did a big overhaul of their software and wouldn’t you know it, it’s total shit! For now I’m weighing my options betwixt working with Blogger’s awful new interface or swapping websites. At any rate, to make up for missing Thursday, this submission covers three comics. oh boy.

Comic Name: Collision Course
Description: Too bad liberals have trouble with basic economics.
Mouseover: >more immigration 
>higher wages
Choose one.
Image Name: immigration-vs-wages-comic.png
Originally Published: 6/7/2018

What The Comic Is: A group of people march down a street in protest for a fifteen dollar minimum wage. Another group of people walk down a street, in protest of open borders and free immigration. The two groups are shown to be walking towards each other.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: There can’t be a higher minimum wage if we let people move into the country.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: At best this is StoneToss expressing some Dunning-Kruger effect wherein he claims liberals don’t understand basic economics while being scathingly incorrect about them himself; at worst it’s StoneToss insinuating that if we give people in the USA better wages, then everyone from Mexico will ‘invade’ the country to earn those wages in low-skill labor jobs. This is StoneToss, though, so it’s very likely both.

We can soundly assume StoneToss hates the idea of a 15 dollar minimum wage, as many of his ilk tend to be wont to do. Couple with the fact he doesn’t want immigrants or, white Jesus forbid, refugees to earn that level of pay, and it’s not hard to deduce that by “Immigrants or higher wages, pick one. You libtards just don’t understand basic economics, do you?!“, what StoneToss actually means is “I don’t want people working at McDonalds to make anymore more money and I especially don’t want brown people to live in the USA“. It isn’t really a ‘pick one’ scenario to him. He would prefer neither, and he paints liberal agendas (higher minimum wage, refugees welcome) as being inherently conflictive with one another. Why exactly can we not have a higher minimum wage and more immigration? “Umm, uhh umm…” StoneToss stammers, attempting to back up the shitty comic he made. “B-because, ya libtard, uhh… more people means… uh, less… money?”. StoneToss soils himself.

It’s just basic economics, after all. Don’t you understand??

Comic Name: Extra Creamer
Description: Now with more soy.
Mouseover: I only drink my coffee straight.
Image Name: gay-pride-coffee-comic.png
Originally Published: 6/12/2018

What The Comic Is: A man hands his boss a mockup redesign for a coffee cup. The redesign is a gay-positive image of a black man sodomizing a white man. The boss questions if the design is trans inclusive enough.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Businesses are cucks.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: At first this was a comic I planned to skip, but frankly I wanted to point a couple of things about it out. First of all, is that this easily could’ve been a perfectly acceptable and thoughtful take on how businesses use corporate pandering to appeal to consumers and are only pro-gay when it’s not only “safe” to be pro-gay as a business, but when you’re possibly going to come under fire for not taking a positive stance on the issue. Because it’s true. Businesses, as a whole entity, don’t give a shit about gay or trans lives. They only do what they feel they need to do in order to generate sales. Specifically, this comic is probably whining about Starbucks, which has seen its fair share of entitled bigots bitching about coffee cup art. 

On the second point, notice how it’s a black guy fucking a white guy. It didn’t need to be that way, but something in StoneToss said “my vision of gay is interracial with the black guy having a bigger dick and being the top”. Just so we all know how not gay StoneToss is, he drew a white guy getting fucked by a black guy. Just so we ALL KNOW how totally NOT GAY he is. Sure he hates women and he draws black men in dominant sexual positions over white men and women. It’s just because that’s how totally not sexually erotic StoneToss finds black men.

Comic Name: Per-ception
Description: Don’t you know that noticing things is racist now?
Mouseover: The liberal dystopia is already here, folks. Facts are racist.
Image Name: racism-comic.png
Originally Published: 6/14/2018

What The Comic Is: A member of the Ku Klux Klan brandishes a pitchfork while calling for racial purging. This is labeled as racism. In the next panel, a news anchor discusses a statistic broken down by a per capita basis. This is labeled, sarcastically, as “racism”.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Systemic racism does not exist and people think facts are racist.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: In a transparent attempt to distance himself from “real” racism, StoneToss gives us the most over-the-top example of racism there is: a Klansman calling for a purge. Look, StoneToss is an idiot. I’m not saying he is intelligent, per se, as some of his comics can get pretty god damned fucking stupid. However, it’s a fair observation to say that StoneToss is part of a caste of bigots who are more savvy and capable of being aloof when compared to the “bumpkin hick” racist that we usually imagine when we think of a member of the current KKK. This ploy of pointing the finger at the racists who are even dumber than themselves and saying “Look, look, IM not racist! I can’t be, because THIS is what a real racist looks like!” is all too common for guys like StoneToss. This attempt at constructing a narrative where racism extends only as far as a white nightgown is as weak as it is stupid.

But enough on the subcontext of this comic. Let’s talk about the domcontext. The news anchor is discussing ‘per capita’ statistics, which is a general umbrella for statistics relating to crimes committed by minorities, etc. The thing about that, however, is that no one thinks facts are racist, because that notion is incredibly stupid. The argument is not “facts are racist”, the argument is “these numbers are inaccurate and represent systematic bias in the way they are gathered, or they reflect the outcome of systematic oppression and therefore aren’t representative of really anything else.”

But StoneToss doesn’t wear KKK robes so that means he can’t be racist, which means he can’t be stupid. That’s how it works, right?

StoneToss: Episode 31

Comic Name: Walk the walk
Description: Greed.
Mouseover: How many hungry have died because a liberal wanted to buy an iphone [sic] instead?
Image Name: liberal-compassion-comic.png
Originally Published: 5/24/2018

What The Comic Is: A man approaches a homeless beggar, ruminating on what sort of society sees someone as needy as a homeless beggar and yet does nothing. After locking eyes for a moment with the beggar, the man then walks off, commenting on how heartbreaking the situation is.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Liberals are hypocrites for owning things.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: At first glance this is a harmless comic with no political charge to it. By itself, that’s all it it. It’s only with the context of the comic’s name and mouseover that StoneToss’s true message comes out (making this comic a great example of why I post the name/description/mouseover texts). The mouseover directly implicates liberals, specifically, as buying iPhones. The comic name, “Walk the walk” is obviously in reference to the saying, “Talk the talk, walk the walk“, which basically means “do what you say you’re going to do”, or “don’t say you can or will do what you aren’t able or don’t plan to do”, in as many words. Of course, the description is a very blunt “greed”.

This comic is aimed at liberals because liberals are often the ones recognizing disadvantage and then aiding it. But StoneToss makes the very intelligent observation that liberals also OWN things. Like we learned with the Marvel comic, StoneToss doesn’t own anything. He doesn’t ever go to movies. CHAD STONETOSS VS THE VIRGIN PHONE HAVER: STONETOSS HAS NEVER SEEN A PHONE IN HIS LIFE. This comic is, in StoneToss fashion, straw manning liberals because it is literally the only fucking way StoneToss can make them look bad.

When it comes to raw collected data on donating money, Republicans tend to be a bit ahead of Democrats, this much is true. This is also very much explained away when you consider Republican’s primarily donate to churches and other religious causes, rather than to pure humanitarian causes. Democrats and liberals still donate in equally great numbers as Republicans, even if their total number of dollars donated tends to fall behind. So in reality, liberals totally practice what they preach; they donate. On a deeper level, StoneToss is trying to bitch about a pure communistic society that he straw mans liberals into desiring, where no one owns anything and there is no money or material wealth. Because liberals want a better society for all, but also own things like phones, this is a baseless attack to assert that liberals are actually greedy hypocrites. The comic is best summed up as “Liberals think everyone should have a fair chance in society and that money should be more fairly distributed, yet they actually own some things that are moderately expensive? Hmm very strange… I am very smart.

Comic Name: Gotta Go Fabulous
Description: I didn’t choose to like big boobied, obedient women – I was born this way.
Mouseover: heh, nothing personnel, homos
Image Name: born-this-way-comic.png
Originally Published: 5/31/2018

What The Comic Is: A man asks a homosexual why he chose to be gay. The homosexual replies that he didn’t choose to be gay, he was born this way. The man asks a trans woman how she chose to be trans, she responds that she didn’t choose to be trans and it’s just how she was born. The man then approaches a mascot for the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, but is unable to find words.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: If you accept trans people and gay people, then eventually people will want to fuck animals.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Again, like the above comic this one seemingly appears to be just a harmless, funny comic that isn’t trying to make any messages. It’s just a joke about furries being weird. However, StoneToss has espoused in the past his stance on the slippery slope of homosexuality and transgenders. A very common (and unhinged) hot take is that “if we accept gays, then eventually we’ll accept pedophiles and people who fuck animals”, as if homosexuality or gender identity or just being a furry are all stepping stones down a path that leads to pedophilia and bestiality; like being gay is comparable to being a pedophile. StoneToss also hates furries (I mean, why not?) so it’s obvious he’s likening furries, in a very disparaging way, to people who actually force themselves on animals in sexual intercourse. More than that, he’s suggesting that furries aren’t born as furries and ergo, anyone claiming to be born gay or trans is not right. 

This is a perfect example of a StoneToss comic that needs the context of who StoneToss is in order to make full sense. If you didn’t know who StoneToss was, you’d think this was actually pro-homosexuality and pro-transgender (maybe leaving aside the trans woman’s facial hair, pronounced Adam’s apple and exaggerated muscular arm) and was just taking a friendly rib at furries. StoneToss doesn’t believe anyone is born gay or trans, though. He actively believes you have to be sexually abused to “turn” gay. So we know, without needing more context, that there’s more bigotry to this than meets the eye. This is part of StoneToss’ plan. To douse his bigotry in enough outer layers of irony in order to cultivate enough plausible deniability that he can use to try and distance his comics from being widely labeled as fascist turds. This is why we have to closely examine each StoneToss comic, because you can not afford this dumbass the comfort of casual benefit of the doubt. That is exactly what he is trying to get from you with comics like this.

So make like a pastry and Donut Give It To Him.

StoneToss: Episode 30 (Special Edition 1)

Warning: This is an extra long post. tl;dr: thanks for reading and helping the blog grow, I have plans to update and expand it in the near future so ~stay tuned~

First of all, thanks to everyone for helping my blog reach 100k views. It’s still going stronger&longer every day, even as we reach a whopping thirty posts on StoneToss. Even at the rate I’m going, there’s still so many stupid fucking StoneToss comics that need to be covered. But I’m dedicated to doing it, if you’re dedicated to reading it. Together we can enjoy the raw stupidity that is StoneToss for months, years, decades(?) to come.

As part of the celebration in hitting 100k and also to commemorate the 30th post (which just so happens to coincide with the 100k views) I am planning several pretty major updates to this blog. I started writing this thing a little over a year ago, in early October 2019. It’s crazy to think it was a whole year ago, but here we are. Originally I posted a chunk of comics all at once, though the attention I got was pretty sparse. I actually kind of abandoned the blog for many, many months as I got busy with IRL bullshit. The whole Covid thing happened, though, and I was unemployed for awhile making phat stackz from unemployment. During this time I decided to pick up this blog again, and the reception I got upon returning to it was far more attention from readers. In just five months the blog shot up in daily traffic and it’s encouraged me to get more serious about what this blog is.

I’ve recently begun doing two comics each post in an effort to burn through the excessive catalogue of StoneToss’ work. More recently I’ve settled on a scheduled format for updates. I have more big announcements planned for the immediate future, so keep an eye on this stupid little blog of mine.
I want to thank the subreddits that allow me to post my work on them. They’ve been crucial to getting people to notice what I’m doing. I also want to thank all of the people who read my blog and enjoy what I am doing. I want to thank people who leave stupid comments about what a drone I am or how my blog sucks, your petulant trolling adds much needed flavor to my work. Foremost, however, I want to thank StoneToss, for who’s comics this blog would not exist without. Just as a great artist needs a muse, so to do I need a whiny, bigoted man child from which to craft the art of my trade. Thank you all. 
Please, subject yourselves to an XXXtra long installment of StoneToss Is An Idiot.

Comic Name: Star Mangled Banner
Description: Inspired by the latest push for the USA to intervene in the middle east.
Mouseover: No more wars for Israel.
Image Name: pledge-of-allegiance-comic.png
Originally Published: 4/10/2018

What The Comic Is: A boy sits at a school desk, one of his legs mangled badly and bent at a highly unnatural angle. The intercom tells the students to prepare for the pledge of allegiance, to which the student scoffs. His teacher lambasts him for his attitude, recounting the deaths of friends who died while protecting the flag. The kid asks Mr. Jones if he’s lost his glasses again, and the last panel shows Mr. Jones confused as Israel’s flag flies behind him in the classroom. 

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Jews Will Not Replace Us.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: The country of Israel defines itself as Jewish. The historical holy land of Jews, Christians and Muslims, it contains the holy city of Jerusalem. How Jewish is Israel? It puts the Star of David, primary symbol of modern Judaism, on its flag. You could say that the country Israeli Jewish, ahahaHAHAHAHAH.

Conservatives don’t generally promote the USA’s involvement in foreign affairs, unless a Republican President promises weapons of the new, clear variety. And if there’s a bunch of oil that wealthy politicians can get their fingers into. Maybe StoneToss was critical of the USA’s past involvement in the middle east, or maybe he was alright with it because we were invading countries full of oil instead of ones just full of (((other stuff))). Anyways, point being is that in 2017, US President Donald Trump came out with his announcement that the USA would begin to recognize the city of Jerusalem as being Israel’s capital. Why this is important is a very complex issue that we won’t really get into here, as there’s no good way to explain it without an essay on the history of the city, the country and the people living in it. The best summary I could give you is that Jerusalem is a city roughly divided into an east half and a west half (think like east and west Germany, complete with a separating the two). Israel claims to own both halves while Palestine claims the eastern half. The status of what the fuck Palestine even is, as a government entity and which countries recognize its status, is also up for debate. Anyways, the city is divided into two with disputed borders and government rule. Trump’s move to recognize Jerusalem as Israel’s capital was then to recognize the entire city as being under Israel’s control; a highly criticized political move by many other governments. 

SoooOOOooo, other than being very complicated with varying stances between Jerusalem and Palestine on who governs what and how officially they govern it, what the fuck do the Jews have to do with this? Like I said before, Israel considers itself a Jewish state. StoneToss does not like Jews. Putting two and two together, yet? This comic is therefore a ridiculous slippery slope fallacy in which StoneToss equates US pro-Israel policy to Jewish undermining of the United States, eventually taking the entire country over somehow. Trump’s stance on Israel has been a point of contention with some of his followers, for these supporters adept enough to even understand the situation (or at least understand biased, anti-Semitic hot takes concerning it), they are conflicted. They supported Trump because he was anti-black and brown people, but he falters at being anti-Jew. StoneToss is incapable of stopping short of simply not wanting the USA to involve itself in foreign affairs and has to turn it into an issue of not wanting to aid Israel specifically, because then that means (((((((((((((they))))))))))))))) are influencing America, which obviously means the Jews are going to replace America. Obviously.

Funny enough, while StoneToss would go on to make another somewhat pro-Trump comic (that references Jews; we’ll get to it eventually on this blog) and while StoneToss has riffed on “establishment Republicans” in the past, this strip seems to be the start of a chill between StoneToss and Trump. I guess it’s true, you can be the caricature of everything StoneToss could ever want in a President and the second you stop short of full-on genocide of the Jews you’re now a cuck.

Comic Name: Tax Abrasion
Description: Happy Tax Day!
Mouseover: Around tax never relax 
Image Name: paying-taxes-comic.png
Originally Published: 4/17/2018

What The Comic Is: Two men sit alongside one another on a park bench. The first comments that paying taxes is a waste. His friend argues that taxes are the price of living in civilized society. In the third panel, it is revealed that common core, war in the middle east and gay police are all components of “civilized society”.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Taxes are bad, everything taxes pay for is bad and more Jews Will Not Replace Us nonsense. 

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: StoneToss likes to think of himself as some post-post-irony meta Libertarian so it’s very little surprise that he dislikes taxes; he’s made previous comics and statements about them before, after all. The meat of this comic is just ‘TAXES BAD’, using cherry picked examples such as Common Core (a newer form of schooling used in tax-funded public education that has admittedly well deserved criticism drawn toward it), or… gay police? I don’t get it. Does StoneToss think police are gay? Does he think a special unit of police exist that solely handle gay criminals? I honestly don’t fucking know what’s gay about the police, or why StoneToss would be anti-police. Nothing happened around the time of the comic’s publishing that involved any type of specific news or controversy surrounding gay people or police that I can find. I suppose if anything the takeaway is just that the police allow gay people to serve as officers? StoneToss is nothing if not an absolutely raging homophobe (in addition to everything else he phobes) so it makes sense, I guess.

But the creamy, melted buttery topping of this steak of idiocy is the newspaper. “WAR IN THE MIDDLE EAST AGAIN!” reads the headline. And as if the last comic wasn’t on the nose enough with the anti-Semitism, StoneToss feels it’s very necessary to add a wringing pair of hands (obviously meant to be an offensive caricature of Jews) to very subtly and very intelligently make this about Israel and the Jews. He could’ve just left the comic at Common Core and wars and offended very few people, just making it your average Libertarian-leaning “I hate taxes” comic. But StoneToss literally can not do anything if it isn’t bigoted against at least one group of people, so here we are. Obviously StoneToss was still feeling upset about Donald Trump, Hitler 2.0 for hopeful young StoneToss, and the Presidential stance on Jerusalem. 
Of course, StoneToss wants to believe the Jews have already infiltrated America’s government. Trump is only a (((puppet))) propping up Israel so the Jews can take over America oh my god wake up people can’t you see that Obama’s name spelled backwards is Jew if you replace the A with a J and the M with an E and the B/O with a W??? Also obviously taxes are a tool of the Jews so they can destroy America with public education (education being the enemy of all bigots) and infrastructure that supports everyone (supporting everyone being the enemy of all bigots).

Now please join along with me in the customary taxing of the gay police officers.

 Comic Name: Founding Bothers
Description: Manifest Destiny can stop at the coasts.
Mouseover: “Give Arabs liberty, or give me death” – every 21st century president 
Image Name: middle-east-wars-comic.png
Originally Published: 5/1/2018

What The Comic Is: A man rushes to the side of George Washington, informing him that the Ottoman Empire is causing trouble in the middle east. The man asks Washington if troops should be deployed. After a blank-faced look, Washington dismisses the concern with a rhetorical question about shit in the middle east.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: George Washington didn’t care about the middle east, therefore America shouldn’t care about the middle east over 200 years later. Oh yeah, this is also still about the fucking Jews if you didn’t follow along with that.
Why It’s Fucking Stupid: I was originally planning to skip over this comic, as after the previous two installments, StoneToss went on a brief binge of comics that were a little too basic to bother covering on this blog. However, I figured it was important to talk about two things. Firstly, why “but muh founding fawters” is a stupid argument and Nextly, that this is still a comic whining about the aforementioned fucking Jews.

Even if you don’t care much about history, the Ottoman Empire is a name you’ve probably heard before. It was a big ass empire of states that existed for, frankly, a pretty damn long time. From 1299 to shortly after the first World War in 1922, the empire of the Ottomans existed in various sizes across parts of the middle east, Africa and eastern Europe. Existing for over 600 years, it’s not hard to see why their motto was “The Eternal Empire” and why we named a piece of furniture after them. By the time Washington was President of America, the Ottoman Empire was already almost half a millennium old. 

StoneToss cherry picks. He cherry picks because he is a fucking idiot. He has no arguments unless he carefully and deliberately picks what parts of reality to base his arguments on. Sure, Washington was at many times in his Presidency strong against America interfering with foreign countries (especially those across the ocean). It’s true that by today’s standards, these views of Washington would be regarded as incredibly isolationist, but this is a specifically picked element of Washington’s leadership and it lacks all context. Washington’s isolationism came from a need to prioritize America first; not because Mexicans were moving into California, but because the nation was entirely new and entirely on its own. It fought for independence on the aid of foreign governments and needed to build up its own military and cement its own economy and trade, to say nothing of building the rest of the country. They didn’t have the capacity to fight a war in the middle east when Washington was President. It barely had a navy, let alone any ships. 
StoneToss tries to suggest the founding fathers would never go to war with the middle east by using Washington as a mouth piece for his own beliefs. Very oddly enough, however, the USA would be entering the First Barbary War in 1801. This war was fought by Sweden and the USA (just the USA after 1802) against the ‘Barbary States’ (and also Morocco). The Barbary States, while autonomous, were provinces of the Ottoman Empire. But it doesn’t stop there! The USA would have other wars with the Ottoman Empire, culminating in an obscure conflict modernly referred to as World War 1. I guess in the end, the USA really did care about the Ottoman Empire. Funny.

This isn’t the first time StoneToss has said something stupid and backed it up solely with “BUT THE FOUNDING FATHERS…”, motherfucker, they lived 200 god damn years ago. The inherent issue with citing literally anything about them is that you need to make an argument as to why or why not their policies and actions are relevant to our time in the present. Of course, StoneToss know this, which is why he knowingly cites George Washington in a way that is intentionally dishonest.

Comic Name: Insect Man
Description: Soyper Heroes.
Mousover: Some stupid lennyface
Image Name: bugman-comic.png
Originally Published: 5/3/2018

What The Comic Is: Ant-Man followed by Spider Man are displayed on the big screen at a film theater. In the third panel, an overweight Marvel fan is ecstatic at seeing his favorite heroes.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Liking movies makes you fat and a consumer and taxation is theft but spending your money on anything other than Bitcoin is stupid.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: So this comic actually confuses a lot of readers because it hinges on an obscure reference to a new slang, “bug man”, used around places like 4chan’s /pol/ board (the political forum of 4chan) to refer to anyone who is a “mindless consumer”. It is also used as a racial slur as well, against any race considered to be especially consumer-centric (like many Asians). The insult is as childish and sterile as you can possibly fucking be without devolving straight into Ned Flanders-esque yodly-dodly gibberish, yes.

The comic therefore has a double meaning. StoneToss is mocking a supposed lack of creativity from Marvel because two of their dozens of characters are themed after insects (or rather, one is an insect and the other an arachnid, but close difference either way), while also mocking people who spend money to see the characters. I mean, one is ANT man and the other is SPIDER man! They’re like THE SAME GUY and you spend money to see BOTH their movies! *Slaps forehead* I mean, wow I just mean can’t you see I mean, wow I just mean *exasperated sputtering*.

I love how StoneToss took the time to draw two of the chairs in the audience empty, lol. Yeah, that’s the SiLeNt MaJoRiTy who don’t waste their money on movies like soy cucks and instead invest in BITCOIN so they can lose all of their fucking investment in an unstable digital currency. StoneToss doesn’t like ANY pop culture and consumes NO media he lives in a one-room house with NO FURNITURE or PICTURES HANGING UP and he drinks only RAIN WATER he collects from the case of his 2004 Gateway PC because spending money on ANYTHING makes you a CUCK and FAT and you eat SOY and you’re a BUG.

Comic Name: Wagging the Dog
Description: Sup, dawg? 
Mouseover: Hm, are all dog breeds created equal?
Image Name: dog-breed-intelligence-comic.png 
Originally Published: 5/10/2018
What The Comic Is: A man and his son observe some dogs. The son asks his father why dogs are so wildly different from one another. The man answers that it is their breed. The son asks why dog breeds are such different sizes, to which the father answers that it is their genes. The son asks why some dogs are ‘clever’ and others are not. The father stammers and a bead of sweat rolls down his forehead as he explains that it is the result of purely economic factors.
What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That humans are dogs and black people are stupid because of their genes.
Why It’s Fucking Stupid: This is one of a few comics I couldn’t wait to get to. It’s a bit satisfying to end such a large post on, really. But anyways, dogs. Humans are apes of the genus homo (lol). Dogs are… well, dogs, of the genus canis. What I’m highlighting here is that humans are not dogs. StoneToss is not a stranger to false equivalency, and there’s not an equivalency much falser than comparing dogs to humans.
Obviously the comic is a riff on “all colors of human are equal” and the fact that black people in countries like the USA face struggles that put them at societal and financial disadvantages. Instead, StoneToss tries to show us how ridiculous it would be if we referred to intelligence between dog breeds as being due to ‘economic factors’. I mean, yeah, that’d be a pretty stupid fucking thing to say when you consider that dogs don’t have an economy or any concept of money. 
Dogs have been selectively and intentionally bred by humans in such a way that has significantly altered almost every different aspect of them, from their colors/shape/size/temperament and their general levels of intelligence. Do you know what humans haven’t been selectively breeding traits into? Humans. I mean, some humans did try that once before, actually. We called them the Nazis.
And I’m sure you could selectively breed any kind of human you wanted, given enough time. Maybe we could create full-on “breeds” of human, from the mountainous Great Australian Longleg to the diminutive Teacup Korean. Can you imagine the fucked up skeletons and muscular structures we could breed into our fellow man?! Sigh, if only we had the time. 
However, until that fateful day, it remains that we don’t selectively breed traits into humans and therefore we are all very commonly related in terms of body shape, size, color and intelligence that vary not across ‘types’ or ‘breeds’ or ‘colors’ of human, but rather across individuals. 
It’s not a surprise that StoneToss doesn’t understand dogs very well, though. He probably doesn’t ever hang out with any of them. After all, dog the best friend of man; not of spineless unfunny bigots who awkwardly avoid looking black guys in the eyes when in public, lest their repressed interracial cuckold fetish give them a raging 3 inch boner in public.
Thanks for reading this stupid blog. Here’s to 100k more views and 100k more StoneToss comics!
Edit: 100k StoneToss comics is way too many, now that I think about it. Let’s shoot for, I dunno. Maybe 50, 60 more?

StoneToss: Episode 25

Comic Name: Chick-Fil-Ayy
Description: Fun fact, Chick-Fil-A earns more revenue per restaurant than any other fast food chain. Source.
Mouseover: More like Chick-Kill-Gays amiright? hyuck hyuck huck.
Image Name: chick-fil-a-comic.png
Originally Published: 2/20/2018

What The Comic Is: A gay man enters a restaurant and attempts to order a homosexual cake. The Scout from Valve’s Team Fortress 2 informs the man that the establishment is a Chick-Fil-A, apologizing for its lack of a bakery. The Scout suggests the man could order some religious chicken, to which the man recoils in shock, angered that the religious chicken is being forced on him.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That it’s hypocritical to demand a bakery owner bake a cake for a gay wedding while also demanding a fast food restaurant not flaunt religious ethics towards its customers.
Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Businesses are not people. But StoneToss seems to possess emotional and mental stunts that prevent him from relating to anyone but himself, so I guess it’s not a surprise that he made a comic as stupid as this one. 

Chick-Fil-A is a franchise chain of fast food sandwich restaurants across the USA that has slowly begun going international in recent years. It’s a chain that is popular for its fried chicken sandwiches and also a company that is infamous for the hot water it sometimes lands in when it comes to LBGTQ+ rights. A chicken sandwich is the last thing you might think could possibly be the center piece to a homophobic business agenda, but here we are. The late owner and founder of Chick-Fil-A, S. Truett Cathy, was a Southern Baptist in the state of Georgia. Of his three children, his son Dan Cathy would lead the Chick-Fil-A empire upon Truett’s retirement and subsequent passing in 2013 and 2014 respectively. 

Truett’s position on homosexuality seems a bit obscure. It doesn’t seem like Chick-Fil-A had a history of donations to anti-LGBTQ+ establishments until 2014, when Dan, the son, assumed control of company. We can assume Truett, despite his philanthropy work, was probably not totally tolerant of homosexuals or gay marriage, but it was Dan who took that to publicly transparent overdrive. Dan has gone on record to speak out against gay marriage and spoken positively of conversion therapy. Since 2014, and only (for the moment) ending with 2020, Chick-Fil-A has donated millions to organizations that openly supported conversion therapy or worked to fight against gay marriage. 

See, no one really cared that Chick-Fil-A closed on Sundays to obey the Christian sabbath or even that they preferred to hire religious employees. Funny enough, they did start to give a shit when Chick-Fil-A’s CEO was singing the praises of conversion therapy, donating money to organizations that support it and speaking out against gay marriage. Because it’s not about religion. It’s about Dan Cathy being a homophobic shithead and harming homosexuals across the country.

If Dan Cathy wants to be homophobic in his own home and keep it to himself, really that’s fucking fine. Okay, well, maybe it’s far from appreciated, but as long as he’s separating bigotry and business then at least we don’t have to deal with his bullshit. See, no one really cares if some guy in Georgia doesn’t like gay marriage or thinks conversion therapy works. Again, it’s not appreciated, but people have too much other stuff to worry about for it to really be a big deal to them. That changes when people want to take their homophobic feelings and start conversion therapy camps or make marriage between two men or two women illegal. Dan is using his company, that the free public support and keep funded, to use money we the people paid to him to donate to homophobic causes. Businesses are not people. A baker can be homophobic all he wants, but he can not discriminate who he provides business to. America is the land of the free, but businesses have fucking rules, because the only way America stays free is if rich bigots aren’t allowed to suppress vulnerable minorities through exclusion. 

No one fucking cares about Christian chicken. No one thinks Chick-Fil-A forces Christianity on anyone. They care about conversion therapy being funded by a bigoted CEO who hates the thought of gay people having the same rights as everyone else. But, you know, StoneToss completely misses this mark. Whether it’s because of intentional underhandedness in an attempt to paint a skewed argument or just genuine stupidity is, as always, up for debate.

Comic Name: High Horse
Description: Am I the only one that remembers the Prohibition?
Mouseover: More like Stoned Toss, amiright? (but seriously kids, don’t do drugs) 
Image Name: gun-ban-comic.png
Originally Published: 2/22/2018

What The Comic Is: A primly dressed and groomed student explains to a stoned classmate that a gun ban would keep guns out of schools.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Marijuana and alcohol being illegal never stopped people from obtaining and using them, or kept them out of schools.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: First of all, weed doesn’t kill people. Neither does alcohol, or at least directly (if one chooses to count fatal alcohol consumption/death related to alcoholism or alcohol consumption as ‘death by booze’). Guns, however, only do a single thing: kill stuff. Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s talk about guns and schools. 

This is obviously a comic concerning mass shootings that take place at schools, and the argument that a gun ban would prevent such mass shootings from taking place. This has been talked about on this blog before, as StoneToss is no stranger to Second Amendment commentary, so I won’t go on too much about that. The crux of the comic is that “gun control would never work, just like drug and alcohol bans”, which is a beyond stupid fucking argument. Weed and beer aren’t a gun. Weed and beer don’t have serial numbers. Guns can’t be picked up with a fake ID at a gas station or from your older brother’s friend. The point being made here is that guns are inherently harder to get to begin with, let alone with actual control checks in place. Plus, funny enough, bans on drugs and alcohol in schools do a really good job of, you know, keeping them out of school?

Further than that, however, is the issue of what types of guns are being brought into schools. This extends into greater gun control issues as a whole, but generally people are against the personal ownership of powerful automatic rifles that posses the rate of fire and ammunition capacity to continuously fire into a crowd of people. This gets into a whole argument about whether or not people need these types of rifles, or erroneous arguments where one might argue that we shouldn’t need super fast cars if cars that go 60 miles an hour are ‘good enough’ (which is an often-used and always stupid argument for automatic rifles).
In natural StoneToss form, he has to create a strawman for his comic, but he also doesn’t even offer any real alternative for guns in schools. If we humor the argument that gun control does not work, then what do we do about school shootings? StoneToss seemingly is a proponent of “everyone has guns and good guys stop bad guys with guns” based on his comics in the past, so is his solution that we should arm every student? He doesn’t even propose a solution in this comic, let alone allude to even having one; but given that StoneToss believes that school shootings are staged with crisis actors by the deep state I think we can go ahead and write this off as just being a stupid, shitty comic that StoneToss made without thinking about what he was actually trying to say.

StoneToss: Episode 20

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

Comic Name: Bind Justice
Description: Free Kyle Rittenhouse
Mouseover: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
Image Name: kyle-rittenhouse-blm-riot-political-cartoon.png
Originally Published: 8/27/2020

What The Comic Is: A black man brandishing a handgun and a man observing covid mask laws, despite clearly having troubles with alcohol dependency (to the point he brings his drink with him wherever he goes), are released from jail after their charges were dropped. A 17 year old who murdered two people in Wisconsin, however, is denied release. 

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That Kyle Rittenhouse shot in ‘self defense’ and that he shouldn’t be facing murder charges.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Not only is StoneToss trying to whitewash Rittenhouse’s murders, but he’s also trying to play some kind of stupid whataboutism (that doesn’t even exist) by pointing the finger at BLM and Antifa ‘thugs’ who’ve committed crime but were released on dropped charges. This doesn’t and hasn’t happened, so he’s pretty much just forcing a fake narrative that our justice system is letting black guys out because they’re part of BLM, when in reality blacks make up a highly disproportionate amount of incarcerated inmates in the USA. Who are these mystical gun-toting wife-beater wearing stereotypes that are being released? This question is purely a rhetorical; they exist only in StoneToss’s dumbass mind. 
The comic’s mouseover text is a quote that is often applied in retrospective looks at Nazi Germany, and how the rest of the world (especially Britain, France, United States and their leaderships) did little to prevent Adolf Hitler from gaining the land and materials he needed in order to launch World War 2 and the holocaust. StoneToss is very creatively retooling the line to imply that Kyle Rittenhouse is the victim, and that evil is triumphing because he was arrested for murdering people with a gun he was too young to own.

They reproduce somehow.

Comic Name: No Choice
Description: My Condolences 
Mouseover: They reproduce somehow.
Image Name: becoming-lgbt-political-cartoon.png
Originally Published: 8/25/2020

What The Comic Is: A man asks a homosexual why he chose to be gay. A flashback reveals that, as a young boy, a person once walked up behind him. Flashing back to the present, the homosexual replies that he didn’t choose to be gay.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Homosexuality is an unnatural product of childhood sexual trauma.
Why It’s Fucking Stupid: StoneToss has made comics like this in the past, though this blog has yet to cover them, so he’s not exactly surprising anyone with this brand of homophobia. Basically it’s the subscription to the belief that people are homosexual because they were molested/sexually assaulted by adults (StoneToss always implies it’s father-to-son assault). StoneToss really, really wants homosexuality to be an active choice an individual chooses to become, but he’s found an absolutely brilliant workaround by asserting that it ISN’T a choice; because gay people are raped as kids! Absolutely smashing, amazing logic. Truly. 

Of course, if one factors in all of the gay people who weren’t traumatized as children and faced no sexual abuse, then StoneToss’s incredibly stupid comic kind of falls entirely apart. So then what’s left for him to say? That some people might have homosexual tendencies due to sexual trauma as children? Even if this is true, what’s it supposed to mean? Even giving StoneToss a benefit of the doubt doesn’t help because that’s just how fucking stupid the shit he says is.

Basically it’s standard homosexuality erasure; homosexuality can’t be legitimate if it’s framed as the outcome of childhood sexual abuse. Not only that, but you can now accuse any/all gay people of being molested as kids, and then simply claim they’ve repressed the memories. It’s really smart, if you’re a fucking idiot. 

The mouseover is a jab at how you can’t reproduce with a same-sex partner, and that this is how gays “reproduce”.

StoneToss: Episode 18

Giving new meaning to "Kid Cuisine".

Comic Name: The Lubricated Slope
Description: N/A
Mouseover: Giving new meaning to “Kid Cuisine”.
Image Name: slippery-slope-comic1.png
Originally Published: 12/7/2017

What The Comic Is: Two gay men inform a man of their plan to wed one another, but reassure him that they are not forcing him to participate in the marriage. The same man is then told by another gay man that he is obligated to bake a gay wedding cake, but that it isn’t like the man’s children are being imposed on. A transgender woman enters a bathroom, telling the man it isn’t as if pedophilia is being committed. In the final panel, the man is witness to off-screen pedophilia. 

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That “normalization” of homosexuality is going to lead to the normalization of pedophilia. 

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: This comic is the perfect example of the ‘Slippery Slope’ fallacy (StoneToss even makes direct reference to as much with the HiLaRiOuS title). Slippery Slope is a logical fallacy wherein one suggests that because one thing happens, a chain of other events will be triggered ala butterfly effect (also a fallacy), ultimately leading to an unforeseen and usually more extreme outcome. Stupid people (like StoneToss) will use a Slippery Slope as an unironic argument, either unaware or not caring that it’s seen as a fallacy and not an argument with any support. 

This comic is your boilerplate “homosexuality = pedophilia” bigotry that you see a lot of anti-gay marriage types tread out. It’s not a big surprise that StoneToss makes the same fake ass argument, and while this is the first time he’s expressed this view in his StoneToss comic, he starts to touch on it many times going forward.

I especially like how StoneToss suggests that just because you bake a wedding cake it means you’re directly participating in a gay wedding. I wasn’t aware a cake could be gay, but I guess when you’re a barely suppressed cuckold-fetishist and a self-hating bi-curious idiot, pretty much any inanimate object or frosted foodstuff could look suspiciously homosexual to you. 

Like I said, it’s a really old concern among bigots that society’s acceptance of homosexuality will lead to an acceptance of pedophilia (as if the two are in any way connected). Maybe this is because they don’t really believe the fallacy and just want a better excuse to hate gay people, or maybe it’s just because bigots tend to be especially dumb people to begin with. 

To get a sense of just how old and how strong this homophobic rhetoric is, in 1961 filmmaker Sid Davis released “Boys Beware“, a social guidance short film discussing how young men should keep themselves safe around strangers. The film follows several stories of young men groomed by homosexual men and either molested/kidnapped/murdered. The film describes homosexuality as ‘a sickness of the mind’ and several times outright describes it as a mental illness. This was 1961, and the feelings and stereotypes of gay men that inspired the film are much older.

StoneToss might think he’s being edgy and saying something no one has ever thought before, but as he proves time and time again, he can’t even do that right. He’s just the same old flavor of bigotry, mindlessly repeating shit that’s already been said.

Folks, don't invest what you can't lose, but damn, it's a fun ride.

Comic Name: Little Bit
Description: N/A
Mouseover: Folks, don’t invest what you can’t lose, but damn, it’s a fun ride.
Image Name: bitcoin-comic.png
Originally Published: 12/14/2017

What The Comic Is: A man blows bubbles sporting the Bit Coin currency symbol. A skeptic insists it’s just a bubble. This escalates several times, until the Bit Coin man (having sold his one remaining arm in order to fund the purchase of more Bit Coin) in living in a ‘bubble’ dome with a tree, while the skeptic stands in the ruins of society.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: StoneToss likes to think of himself as some kind of super intelligent Libertarian, so it’s no surprise he’s a big proponent of virtual currency like the Bit Coin. Virtual currency is very popular among alt-righters, as they like the fact that no government has control of it (because if we abandon the dollar and use Bit Coin then the dems and rinos can’t rule the earth with the jews and epstein’s ghost1111!! omfg). At the time of this comic’s publication Bit Coin was experiencing a massive hike in value (or rather, was coming to the end of a years-long value climb that was described as a ‘bubble’). At a certain point it was suggested as foolish to continue investing in Bit Coin as the value was so high and about to plateau (or plummet) that you’d get very little turn over, or potentially massive losses. 

Proponents of Bit Coin argued that it wasn’t a bubble. At least until Bit Coin’s value began to fluctuate wildly. But this isn’t necessarily a comic strip about a virtual currency. Rather, it’s a look into StoneToss’s idiotic world where the US dollar is a tool of the government to destroy its own society and that everyone has a choice: You can be outside the ‘bubble’ and live in the crumbled ruins of civilization, or invest in a currency the US government doesn’t control and live in a dome with a tree. Hilariously enough, this comic was published on December 14th, 2017. The very next day, December 15th 2017, would be the day BitCoin hit a historical high spike in value (19,783 USD). The very next day after that, on the 16th, is when BitCoin began to nosedive and slowly fall to, and stagnate at, one of its lowest values before fluctuating wildly from thereon. 

“It’s not a bubble!!111” StoneToss screams, as the bubble popped.

StoneToss: Episode 15

But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 
- Matthew 5:39

Comic Name: Martyr
Description: N/A
Mouseover: But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. – Matthew 5:39
Image Name: christian-conservative-comic.png
Originally Published: 10/20/17

What The Comic Is: A man busts through the door of his local congressman’s office/purgatory void, crying in alarm at how the slippery slope of gay wedding cakes has resulted in wanton child transgenderism. The congressman asserts that Christian conservatives must do as they always do; ask what Jesus would do. The congressman is then crucified by a crowd of people as a gay pride and antifa flag fly proudly over lumpy grey hills in the background. 

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That Christian conservatives are victims and that the time for them to ‘play nice’ or be passive, as per the instructions of Jesus Christ, are over; elsewise the radical tide of hate groups like gay people and anti-fascists will be their undoing. 

Why It’s fucking Stupid: Okay lads and ladettes, let’s all be real with each other. We all know 
StoneToss is an idiot, right? This isn’t a secret to anyone? No? Good. Because this one is really stupid. I find myself describing at least half of StoneToss’s publications as “exceptionally stupid”, which begs yet another fundamental question concerning StoneToss; is stupidity of this level still ‘exceptional’ of StoneToss when he does it almost half the time?

Whatever. A question for another time, perhaps. For now, let’s focus on Exhibit A: StoneToss’s victim mentality. The first panel of the comic has a worried citizen barging in on his congressman so StoneToss can try pretending (outright lying) that a slippery slope exists between gay civil rights and people projecting transexualism onto their children (it doesn’t). The second and third panels has the congressman stating “the same thing we always do, ask ourselves what would Jesus do”? This paints conservative Christians in a super innocent light, as if they’re not the demographic of people constantly protesting in hatred against homosexuality (among many other things), directly supporting or committing ‘gay conversion’ therapies, abusing men, women and children alike within their church communities, physically assaulting women who attempt to visit abortion clinics, etc.

This isn’t to say that all Christians are bad. That is not what I believe, nor what is really true. It’s perfectly possible to be religious and inclusive of everyone, especially if one goes by contemporary and comparatively modern New Testament versions of “Jesus Loves” Christianity. However, acting like conservative Christians are somehow always turning the other cheek and peacefully allowing gays to exist is not only so far removed from the truth that it would make Adolf Hitler blush and giggle, but it’s just downright idiotic. What kind of idiot would honestly try to pass off the conservative Christian base as being a bunch of peaceful pacifists?! Oh right, StoneToss would. I forgot who we were talking about for a second, silly me!

Anyways, the fourth panel ends with the congressman crucified. Just like what Jesus would do, get it? Be crucified for being peaceful and turning the other cheek?? Hahahah don’t you get it?!?!?!. Anyways, “What would Jesus Do?” is a popular adage/bumper sticker that many Christian-types cite as a way of promoting Christ-approved inclusivity and peace (at least in theory; obviously some Christians don’t exactly practice what they mindlessly regurgitate). StoneToss is trying to paint a world (that doesn’t exist) wherein pacifistic conservative Christians can no longer afford to turn the other cheek, as antifa and gay rights ‘terrorize’ those who do so (the comic’s mouse over text is the Bible verse from which the modern saying is derived from; also, lol, seriously, StoneToss? Gay rights is now a violent movement? Fuck off.) 

This is stupid for two reasons. First of all, gay rights is not an extremist or violent group, like, at all. Antifa I can get; that’s at least your boilerplate stupid coming from StoneToss. But, second of all, acting like gay activists are out there physically forcing others to ‘accept the gay’ while also simultaneously acting as if the very base that actually has violently suppressed them in past and present is the one that is being victimized is so u n b e l i e v a b l y stupid. 

Conservative Christians don’t turn the other cheek to gay people. That’s like the linchpin of the fucking issue. If they WERE turning the other cheek, there wouldn’t have been an issue with a Christian baker making a gay wedding cake. StoneToss tries to literally erase factual happenings by suggesting (in the first panel) that Christians peacefully allowed gay wedding cakes to exist instead of, ya know, fighting vehemently against it for years on end. 

Bonus points for depicting conservative Christians as turning the other cheek while also depicting antifa and gay rights activists as crucifying them anyways. What’s the message here? That antifa and gay people just hate religion even though it’s tolerant of them? Of course, in reality, there are many Christians who are opposed to/intolerant of homosexuality, but this is StoneToss’s make-believe world we’re talking about.

Gay people wouldn’t have any beef with Christians if Christians actually acted the way StoneToss depicts them. But StoneToss can’t make a comic strip where Christians turn the other cheek and gay people react the way they really would (happily and peacefully); because then how would he be able to justify his homophobia?! All we “woke” folks care about is the entitled gayz. Why doesn’t anyone ever think of StoneToss and his bigotry :,(

How else would they get laid, tho?

Comic Name: With Friends Like These 
Description: N/A
Mouseover: How else would they get laid, tho?
Image Name: male-feminist-comic.png
Originally Published: 10/24/2017

What The Comic Is: We’re treated to a brief rundown of different predator animals in their natural habitats. StoneToss, ever the naturalist and biologist that he is, treats us to an illustration of a spider that only has six legs. In the fourth panel, a man sweats nervously as he attends a feminist gathering.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That no men are feminists and they’re only doing it to pick up women.

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: So basically StoneToss is just suggesting that men can’t be feminist and that they’re only ‘camouflaging’ themselves, as a predator in nature would, to prey upon women in the movement. This is an easy way of invalidating any male feminist, since you can just accuse them of bad faith acting in the interest of hunting p00n. StoneToss also depicts his male feminist with either a tiny cocktail hot dog on his scalp or some kind of weird bald-head-manbun thing akin to a sort of stereotypical Japanese samurai hairstyle.

Basically he’s just attempting to discredit the feminist movement in general by ‘revealing’ male feminists to be only in it for the sex, which would also (on a deeper level) be undermining feminism. Whether StoneToss has the ability of thought required to dig as far down as making a message that feminism therefore can never truly work when one of the sexes is incapable of doing anything other than acting in bad faith is another debate for another day.

StoneToss: Episode 13

We're here, we persevere, get over it.

Comic Name: Pride
Description: N/A
Mouseover: We’re here, we persevere, get over it.
Image Name: pride-comic.png
Originally Published: 9/19/2017

What The Comic Is: A man with a horrible skull deformity atop his head poses a question on the validity of feeling prideful. A skeptical onlooker wearing a white pride t-shirt responds with casual dismissal. In the third panel, it is revealed a pride celebration complete with discarded dildos is raging in the background.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Being white is comparable to being gay, and therefore ‘white pride’ is just as valid as ‘gay pride’ and that taking pride in being gay is hypocritical if you don’t support pride in being white. 

Why It’s Fucking Stupid: Ah, the classic StoneToss onion comic. It’s always nice when stupidity has layers. First of all, StoneToss is attempting to liken being white to being gay and to highlight some kind of hypocrisy that exists (but doesn’t really exist) when people discredit white pride notions. He straw mans the gay community by having a stand-in for them talk about ‘how it’s dumb to take pride in things you can’t choose’ (no gay person has ever fucking said this) before showing the gay man standing in front of a pride parade. 

I think this second layer is something StoneToss wanted to leave up to reader interpretation; are da gayz just hypocritical and reverse bigots? Or is homosexuality actually a choice which would therefore make being white less of a choice than being gay (i.e., being white is the ‘real’ thing you can’t choose, making it more legitimate to have pride in)? Knowing StoneToss and his advanced state of victim-complex, it’s probably the latter; but it’s very fun and thoughtful of our author to leave this point up to debate. Let the discourse rage on, folks!

For reference, the shirt the guy in the second panel is wearing is a white pride t-shirt. The symbol is a Celtic cross which is formally recognized as a symbol associated with hate groups (the symbol itself doubles as the symbol for ‘white power‘ as well as ‘white pride’.) If you Google image search ‘White Pride Symbol’ you’ll get results that have the same Celtic cross, but with Nazi iconography mixed in with it. This begs yet another interpretation: is StoneToss knowing and aware of the fact he’s associating with a neo-Nazi symbol or is he too stupid to realize that the symbol has roots in Nazi imagery? Vote with your phones now!